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winter Oct 2020
exiting out of **** sites to google
life advice from morticians
winter Oct 2020
scrubbing the tears off from under my chin
this was an accident
but i don't have the heart to change it
winter Oct 2020
I repeat the ******'s word like he was meant
to live within me
I say it like an anthem
as if death took form and walked through my door
and gave me words to worship
as some personal salvation
it invades my nightly silence:
"I am young enough to repaint and
old enough to sell"
I make it a multitude of myself
winter Oct 2020
I’m scared
I don’t want to meet someone 10 years
in the future and have to do it all over. Who I am now is important.
Who I was in my childhood is so important.
I’m terrified of being so infinitely unknown
I just want to feel home
in someone or just somewhere
I wish 'childhood trauma' didn’t have to ******* up
so bad
years down the line.
Will it affect me forever?
Will it linger as a part of me forever?
Will it one day be so painfully insignificant that
I can move on with my life like everybody else?
Is that what I want?
winter Oct 2020
saying your name
under my breath
over and again
winter Oct 2020
3
Days of you saying "I'll go there for you"
and we waited so long
they won't be waiting for us

These days girls have started calling me
their best friend
While I sit here alone
It feels just as it was before

Annika

What has become of us
How have you made it so far away and
why are we alone

Ex-lover, premature,
daydreams of whispering in her ear
Dreams of her again being mine
(but I know I'm only) longing for an old companion

Even if it'll always be you
Afton Magenta
Even if it is only you
winter Sep 2020
How many more times am I going to return to this corner of my room
Asking why I've come back to this pain
The bass of it pounds and cancels all other noise until I
Can no longer fathom overcoming it
When will this pain leave me behind
Will it return to me always
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