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winter Dec 2019
& after tonight,
it’s been made clear
I really need someone
winter Dec 2019
how can I live blindly
are they hiding the fact
that there is nothing to see
winter Dec 2019
some part of me still has hope
it constitutes my fear
I can never be numb
there is only suffering
winter Dec 2019
my youth was stolen by my love.
I brought myself to life
and paid the price.
I remember the moments
when my heart wasn’t beating,
a moment of you between the beats.
I change the story every time
but that one moment remains

I will age with it & die with it
my chant for when I sleep
and when I wake in the morning
I can’t remember how to cope with it
a journal by my bedside
to keep track of what to think
I cannot think, if not of you

My epitaph
my memoir

I crumble and become your absence
winter Dec 2019
if I am not bipolar
then I cannot be saved
winter Nov 2019
I am loveless
I am unloving
I don’t want to live
winter Nov 2019
what is my pain
to another’s love
not that it was meant for me
but i like to peer upon it
from outside
why does their love
amplify the hurt
why do i envy
their comfort
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