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Monotone Jun 2020
I detest
That we are
So far apart
Yet also so close.
It just hurts
So much
But also,
Doesnt.
And I'm a
Whirlwind
Of confusion.
Monotone Sep 2021
The only thing on my mind
Is how badly I want
To run a blade across my wrist
And feel an outer hurt
Because I’m tired of the within
Monotone Apr 2019
The struggle to breathe has become too much.
Just yesterday I had a dream and almost couldn't get up.
Lost in an irate sea, slowly sinking to the bottom
A dark figure watches as I lose the air that fills my lungs.
Hands outstretched toward the surface.
No, not the surface.
Toward you.
You, my very sustenance.
The water I drink, the air I breathe
and without it, I shall drown.
and with too much, I shall also drown.
And so, I must keep you at an arms length.
Never truly embracing you,
yet never truly dismissing you.
Awaking with a start.
A pressure on my chest.
I hadn't been breathing.
Even in my sleep, I am unsafe.
Monotone May 2021
You know what?
I'm not broken.

I can still function.
I'm not alone.
I've got others around me.
I won't isolate.
I will explore.
I can do this.
I will survive.
I will be loud.
I want my voice to be heard.
I'll feel.
I won't become numb.
I can still thrive.

Because you know what?
I'm not broken.
Monotone May 2017
Your words
wreck,
destroy,
maim,
abuse,
wound,
and mortify me,
yet they are
the only
thing that
could possibly
save me.
Monotone May 2017
Why is it
when I
start talking
to you
I can't
be open
without you
becoming
angry
jealous
manipulative
impulsive
rude
scarring
hate­ful and
argumentative.
It hurts
because
I just
need someone
to talk to
every now
and then.
I need
to open
the bottle
that my
deepest
most painful
thoughts are
enclosed in.

— The End —