I don't worry as much,
which is strange to me.
I'm not constantly thinking about you,
and that's probably a good thing.
You were my best love,
and it's okay that we're just friends.
I don't hurt anymore,
I've given in to the numbness within.

You're gone now,
but I can focus on me.
I can copy and paste more smiles on,
while deleting my feelings and opinions.
I'll turn on autocorrect,
and format myself the "right" way.
I'll accept suggestions from my peers,
and stop straying from the rubric.
Maybe this way, I'll be worthy of an A.
I won't become the F that's in everyone's brain.
So the revision begins, even if what's inside me ends.
Wish me luck, I can't take another failing grade.

Just when I thought I couldn't be any more alone,
you took a step back, leaving me in total isolation.
And while I understand what you're going through,
It still tears me apart, piece by piece by piece.
You don't think yourself capable of loving anyone,
meanwhile I gave you every single bit I had stored away.
Now, my eyes can't stop leaking and I feel entirely numb.
I slowly begin rebuilding my walls, this time reinforced,
so that maybe this time they won't be breached so easily.

I cannot pinpoint what direction it's coming from.
Something is wrong, It feels off,
like something is bound to explode or erupt.
I'm scared, despite waiting for it to happen.
I'm ready, but I know it'll hurt me.
So now I anticipate the coming storm,
with my anxiety and depression keeping me company.
But hey, at least I'm alone,
so no one else will have to worry, and
no one will be inconvienced by the bullets that are about to destroy me.

Everywhere I turn
there's no one.
And it's suffocating me,
this deafening emotional silence.
It's wrapping around me tightly,
refusing to let me breathe in the happenings around me.
Sooner or later,
it'll get too tight,
squeezing me into a void where I've no need for air.
And, I'll be happy to be there.