Monotone

Monotone Mar 2020

I have never felt more alone than I do now.
Everyone keeps disappearing,
Leaving me to confide only in my demons.
Demons who poke, ****, and pry at my mind;
Convincing me that I don't belong.
Convincing me that I am useless.
Convincing me that I need to disappear.

Monotone Feb 2020

I'm Aware.

I'm aware.
I'm aware that I need pills.
I'm aware the need to tear my skin is bad.
I'm aware of the pain I desperately need.
I'm aware that I shouldn't ache for pain.
I'm aware pain is the only way to break the sad.
I'm aware I need help.
I'm aware that "they're here for me."
I'm aware. I am aware. I'm ******* aware.

Monotone Feb 2020

**** This.

I cry.
I scream.
I holler.
I scratch.
I kick.
I bite.
I tear.
I fight.

I fight to get out,
but I cannot escape my mind.

Monotone Feb 2020

????

Are you ******* stupid?
Are you emotionally impaired?
Do you understand im dying?
Do you wish I wasn't here?
When will you hear me?
When will it become clear?
Am I so unwelcome that nobody'll ever care?

Monotone Feb 2020

.

Its only now that I realize people only tolerate me.

Im not close to anyone in particular, in fact they're lightyears away.

Monotone Feb 2020

Untitled

A gnarly mess of emotion
Is fighting from within me
Trying to win the right to tear me apart
From the inside out.

Each thought stretches my skin
As I writhe in agony
I cant take it
Make it go away
Please
Just please
Someone be there for me

Monotone Feb 2020

Stopstopstopstop

Stopstopstopstop
You're not supposed to listen to these
Thoughtsthoughtsthoughts
Remember what happened the last time, all those
Cutscutscutscuts

You're tearing yourself apart. Stop.
Just stop.
You're being stupid.