Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Brian Buttlicker Dec 2020
The terrible darkness
on the back of my eyelids
Look just like the abyss

And it's staring back at me
Beckoning, calling me
If you only look to see
You'll find infinity

Staring down into the abyss
I swear it's looking back again
Maybe I'll just swim right in
Take a bath in the pool of sin

This is a death march don't be naive
No good will come of this you will see
The gallows are just beyond these trees
So why the **** are you dragging me

I'm here of my own free will
You cling onto me still
You hold onto your guilt
I won't validate your selfish tilt

Heels dug in, now struggling
Dreading impending judging
Crying that I don't need your help
Can't you hear me wail and yelp

Look away from the obvious thought
I suppose this was the only way out
I still can't shake this doubt
That we always knew what this is about
Hmmm... Not sure what to say about this. A few gems in there though.

We are infinity attempting to name our own number.
Brian Buttlicker Dec 2020
If there is a God he's not in my life anymore
You saved me, gave me strength to change
I need you to stay
I need you to say
You'll be here with me forever
Pull off my mask
Let your hair down
Show me I am my own savior
I don't know, I'm pretty sure I was having a rough day. Or week. Or life?
Brian Buttlicker Dec 2020
I used to be outrospective
I have become selfish
This is not an apology
Rather an acknowledgement
As the world changes
As I grow and change
I cannot judge myself
Only observe and reflect
It is like the universe
As we inspect, dissect infinity
We realize how little we know
And I too
As I peel away layers in my sentience
Put my consciousness under a microscope
Like a flower unfurling under sol
Or a caterpillar creating a chrysalis
With no knowledge of its own becoming
I am immersed, humbled
And terrified of myself
And the power bestowed upon me
For how will I know
If what I choose is right
Just. True. Moral. Ethical.
Loving. Kind. Selfless
When I can only see
Through the lens of my own mind
And I am selfish
Just an observation. Getting older *****.
Brian Buttlicker Dec 2020
Turn signal not happening?
Cart you're not returning?
We can deal with it.
Strike your fellow man?
Take food from my family's hand?
We should **** for it.
It's the principle
And you're not invincible
Judgement comes in all forms
Some are brainstorms
Never been one to hate
But we've all been there too late
You say *******,
I say ******* too.
Do your worst, I doubt I'll die
Darwin wants me to give you a try.
Keep trying.
Keep trying.
If it's not today, then today you'll be dying.
I'll mind my business when you mind yours.
******* and your expensive ******.
Perhaps a tad, how shall we say, confrontational. Or maybe even slightly ugly. But the sentiment is genuine, and I mean every word.
Brian Buttlicker Dec 2020
You are beautiful
Please don't mind the cliche
You are beautiful
I am almost afraid to say
The words that are easy
May seem easy to use
But to use them on you
Feels like word abuse
I know a few others
That might better rhyme
But they are not worthy
Having seen you this time
Overused, maybe
But not by me, baby
So, "Beautiful!", I say
With not a moments delay
If you'll let me, I'll stay
And say it about you every day.
Perhaps a little silly, I wrote this for a woman that will never read it. She was, truly, beautiful inside and out. I was saving it for our wedding day, and that day never came.
Brian Buttlicker Dec 2020
This burden will not be borne.
Shell of our kind is cracked and torn.
This world of ours has stoked its ire
And we've placed us all upon the fire
Decency is not a memory but a fantasy
And cruelty is a gospel turned into reality
We don't have the answers
We don't have a clue
Maybe somewhere deeper
We know what's left to do
"**** what's yours I want what's mine"
We hear that same old rant
Can't help but think "*******,
This is how this all began"
Can't we, unexpecting, help our brother off the floor?
Can't we help our mammal kin to build something more?
Is love a failed experiment?
Have we ruined evolution to it's detriment?
Watch us fade away, greed in tow
Universe uncaring, letting energy flow
We've made this cake, time we eat it.
Made the bed so now we sleep in it.
Regarding our hubris and wanton destruction of everything that humanity has ever touched.
Brian Buttlicker Dec 2020
I thought that I might go for a ride
That used to help me clear my mind
As I drove I thought of you
That was usually soothing too
I found myself driving to a place
A location; a mental space
I end up here on nights like these
Steeped in pathos; old memories
Like so many times before
I wound up at this particular door,
Next to a window, empty, alone
From where our lights had previously shone
It's dark inside, you've moved away
I stare at that door, a forgotten stray
When I think back, I can remember a day
A day of snow, skies cloudy and gray
But credit where credit is due,
Most of what I remember is you.
That look in your eyes,
Your hair that brunette hue,
And the conversation we had,
Between just me and you.
You told me I was wrong,
Reiterated your love.
Gave me the shoe
That fit like a glove.
I asked for the proof, as the skeptic I am
But that proof, sadly, is still on the lam.
I told you, "I'm leaving, I told you I would,
If you want me to stay, say why I should."
Your response surprised me,
"What do you want me to say?"
Do I have to tell you?
Say you want me to stay!
I said, "******* nothing." The clock went dead;
It moved again, not a word being said.
While what I said may seem cruelly put,
It also seems the shoe fits the other foot.
An eternity passed in that grain of sand
Now I eat crow for taking my stand
Time has passed, how much, who knows?
But that's how everyone's story goes
This is a poem that I wrote when I was about 22. I don't think it needs much explanation.

— The End —