Your happiness is a mask
Covering up something fundamentally broken.

                                          I looked at her and smiled softly for the first time that day.

Today like so many days out of my life, I want to **** myself. I want to die. Yes something is wrong with me, I am sad and brittle to my core. Some days I find that the light of the sun is a 100 lb weight on my shoulders just pushing me down. Some days I walk through the city feeling like I am moving through mud.

                                           I closed my eyes smiled genuinely.

Other days I am happy and I don't ask why I just roll with it, Some days the light of the world lifts me up and pulls me forward. Some days this city moves and I pick up my feet to match it.  But every day know that I am hiding nothing, this is who I am.

                                              She hugged me and I hugged her.

Some machines just leave the factory a bit broken.
We can hide it to our best abilities and compensate.

Can't sing? Learn to dance to the heartbeat of the night.
Can't be happy? Learn to make others smile, it'll come.

Like a chasm in the water, like a black rainbow.
Sometimes broke is beautiful.

Happiness and strength come from vulnerability.

To not trust and to not believe in others
well that is not only selfish is it weak
and most damnedly it is cowardly.

I wear my heart on my sleeve
If I cry just know it wasn't because I didn't care.

Somewhere along the line I became lost.
Not so broken that I couldn't walk again.
Just cracked so that I didn't want to.
Life:The beautiful cataclysm.
She became so much for me.
Laying in the ditch seemed so warm.
Time pour over me and washed away my smile.
Moments and the in between blurred.
Before long I was wishing for death.
Wishing that I could stop thinking.

Misery had become my shadow.
My lone companion, that embraced me in the night.

Anger rose up like a wave and
push me into the ground.

Sadness turned inward ate away at me.
The pain of depression on these lips reigned.

Outward implosion I moved toward oblivion.
Look at this Darkness I became.

Life is not about reinventing yourself.
That's the thing about you.
You think you're complete right now.
But every day you ******* away with a new smile.
Beautiful wanderer discover

This is not for you.
I don't know you yet
I don't know that I love you yet.
I don't know the way your smile makes me feel.
I don't know the way the warmth of your touch is so unique.
I don't know that when I'll close my smile you'll hold me.
I don't know when you move your lips you can build worlds.
I don't know that I am un happy now.
I don't know when we first say hello.
I don't know that you'll be my first love.
I don't know that you'll be my last.

I don't know anything.

Look at me and you will not see a Hero.
Smile with me and the Devil I become.
My quieted anger,the smokeless flames.
My breathe is not ragged
My Fists shan't be righteous

But you'll remember me for the kindness.
That you so long ago mistook for my weakness.

Miss me? Mr. Smith