One and two and three and four
Every time I see your face
I smile
I fall in love
Ardor
I die inside
Just a little bit more
A tear slips down my face
Five and six and seven and eight 
Death is knocking at your door
You're trying to be late
Oh the problems I don't want to face
Nine and ten
Look through my lens
Eleven and twelve
I'm in hell
One clock 
Ten clocks
What's ten thousand clocks more
Anything to add more time for us together 
This limited time with you I will treasure
When you go it'll be forever
But I know you'll be whispering,
"I just hope you know I'm still here, wherever.
I know you'll need me;
I will be there whenever.
Sometimes you'll cry out my name..
But just remember 
Hear my songs
Sometimes you don't have to be so strong."

Thirteen, maybe fourteen?
I hear my step dad say the cause of **** is a woman's clothing
Eleven, maybe twelve?
I'm on the ground
The voices all around me don't hear my cries
I wish I'd die.
Nine, maybe ten?
I wake up alone and run to the neighbors
My daddy has been drinking again
He makes excuses
None of which I believe
But I smile and nod
What he doesn't know
Is his words make me bleed
Seven, maybe eight?
I never knew why I made the call to my mother that morning
About the beer cap I found in the chair
Until now
After all, it was just one, right?

I look around constantly
I slide down in my seat
I hate looking in the mirror
I hide from me
Their words scare me

I roam the hallways with my head down
I speak only when spoken to
I'm not the one people walk over to
Kayla who?
They have no clue

I sit alone at lunch
When I eat I never crunch
I sit in a hunch
It controls me
I cannot finish
I stand and walk away quickly

My skin has gone prickly
As it does every day
My hand accidentally brushes against someone familiar in the hallway
"Geez! Your hands feel like ice! Why are you always freezing?"
I mumble the excuse of a cold lunch
I stumble away

And the tears flood down my face
And my stomach turns to knots
And I get the shivers
I shake
And I can't stop
Guess I never knew you'd move on so quickly
That's what I get I guess
Deserve all the pain that I'm given

But I hope I die tomorrow
Because "how will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?"

If you only..if you only knew
How I
Build these walls up
Taller
Stronger

Dry my eyes off
Faker 
Liar

Want to cut
Bleed faster
Streams get thicker

Hide everything from you
"Doesn't matter"
"I'm happy for you"

Because now these walls will only be taller
Because now my eyes will only pour out the truth when I'm alone
Because now I want to cut so it can all be over but I'm trying to hang on
(Because maybe we'll be together again)
Because now I hide everything from you because I don't want to ruin what you now have
(But I'll always keep loving you
Loving you from Indiana
Missing you in Indiana
Wanting you in Indiana
Needing you in Indiana)
(But mostly,
I just love you)

Mommy, mommy
I'm breaking down
Mommy, mommy
I'm about to drown
Mommy, mommy
Soon I may be wearing a hospital gown

Mommy, mommy
I'm only 15 years old
Mommy, mommy
I'm broken and cold
Mommy, mommy
Can everyone see me crying..it can't be controlled

Mommy, mommy
Look! I see a butterfly
Mommy, mommy
I hope you don't find me when I die
Mommy, mommy
My whole life has been lies.

Mommy, mommy
I went into the bathroom during class today
So no one could see me burst out crying
As I pounded my fist against the tiled wall
A girl walks in and enters the other stall
I flush the toilet and pretend to stand up
I clean my eyes up
I look in the mirror
I blink 30 times
You can hardly tell
I'm not fine.

You rest your hand
Up on my cheek
You tell me the world
(The promises you couldn't keep),
Our lives together

That would never be.
I walk around
With my head held high?
Unlikely so.
I could never be what you needed
It sure was one of my nicer delusions, though.