It’s not you.....its me.....
It’s just me.....
I don’t blame you for what you said....
I only blame me for how it felt.....
I don’t blame you for the way you’ve been....
It’s only just me for I let it touch me...
I know you were just you.....
I know I failed my own self in doing the same....
In being me.....
I allowed your essence to mingle my soul....
Careless I was I didn’t see the inevitable ....
The hazard....the danger....the evil....the darkness...
I allowed your venom to work it’s way....
Within me....inside me.....
A venom so lethal....so vile....so vicious...
A venom you named previously as “love”

Ever wonder?
How it feels like
Crying out loud inside,
Yet, still wearing fake smiles?

Ever wonder?
How much it hurts
Pretend nothing happened
Yet, dying inside?

Ever wonder?
How difficult it is
Keeping the courage to face you
When I actually want to disappear from your sight?

Ever wonder?
How painful to bear
When you purposely ignore me
Yet, I still care?

Ever wonder?
How hard to hide my emotions
Whenever I hear Charlie Puth's song
"We don't talk anymore
Like we used to do..."?

Ever wonder?
How much I am broken inside
That I can lie the whole world I am happy and strong
Yet, unable to lie myself?

Ever wonder?
How much I have loved you
That when you are gone,
I feel I lost myself and my happiness?

Ever wonder?
That you are part of my life,
That I am no longer the same me which I used to be,
That I am helplessly and shamelessly thinking about you,
That I am constantly looking at my phone and wish you msg me,
That I am burning inside every moment I breathe

Ever wonder.....those feelings???

You corrupted my mind & my soul
Now you want to stop everything?
Now you want me to let you go?
But, remember that we both agreed for this sin?

You should have known
Love isn't a game for me
Neither my feelings are for you to play with
Nor my body for your enjoyment.

Well, your attitude and pride
Your ignorance
Your silence
Make me burn and
**** me within.
I am numb but not calm,
Carrying along a drained mind and a hurt soul.

You are such a selfish being
You decided to leave anyway
Never thought for a second how I would survive this
Oh, what a brutal torture!

Yet, I silently wish
I could stay happy like you as if nothing has happened, or
Else, you felt the same pain of being heart-broken.
You will understand me then....

At first I didn't know
A blessing was knocking in my life
An angel disguised as you
To bring happiness and love.

I was misused
I was abused
I was not loved & cared
And never got appreciated
Regardless of how much I spared

Then,
A pair of warm hands
And the caring heart
An understanding being
A special friend is gifted to my life
A wisdom words of you
And your caring gestures
Lifted my soul and make me high
You did bring happiness to my life.

Time has changed,
Weather has changed,
People have changed,
And so are you!
Yet no one to blame to.
I accepted the truth
That you were gone.
Even you are no longer with me,
Your memories are still with me &
in my heart &
in my thoughts...
Yet, somewhere inside my heart,
I miss the old you
Who used to care me a lot,
Who was the reasons of my smiles, &
Whom I loved a lot ....

I am not the same as what I used to be,
Neither like before you met me
Nor after you left me.
Something has changed in me
Something has gone with you.
I have become more stable person,
With broken pieces of heart.

After all it doesn't bother me now
Your silence
Your harsh words
Your ignorance
Your lack of affections and warmth,
I don't need to endure any.

I have moved on with a wounded heart.
I know it will be healed gradually.
I have embraced the truth that
It meant to be happened this way.
Appreciated for all memories of us.
Goodbye to you, my old friend.