Just try
To display
The might
Of a republic
That died
Years ago

Just try
To let go
Of the way
That lead us
Away
From ourselves

Just try
To break
Away
From the hell
That awaits
Us now

I wounded myself, to feel how it felt, razor stripes of my life trickled from my arms, and chest, i tested how it felt, again, how it felt, to hurt, and i lurked, in these tears of trickery until they dried.

I remember looking into hate for a well of ailments, but just layered laments on my fragility, but I still remembered the memories, as they blurred through times passing, fast forwarding right past me, pulsing, flashing.

I Remember the blasts of my friend, as his head cracked on a trunk, six bullets, rolled back eyes, pink foam, and a rasping noise, and all i thought was to catch his breath, one last concept, as it slipped on by.

Not one tear, not one cry, neither him nor I.

And I, still feel the feeling of those wondrous eyes of mine, gasping unto beautiful skies, in the sweet sweet surprise, of something bigger, something so profound, as to drown the world in doubt, of its thinking.

So young, so innocently brilliant.

And I remember sinking pits of regrets, and things i wish i said, as i bled, in tears, before the years stole the deepest emotions ill ever know, and strolled through uncontrollable turmoil, in rolls, and waves, of the tolls, Ive paid, in coils, of hate, all balled up in haste, and chucked at the door, mucked of the core, spilling its guts, on the mudhuts of my humanity.

Humility unborn until true scorn pierced center mass, penetrating my soul, my coal, my face, and my masks, changing me, redirecting my intentions again, to the forbidden zen, of absolutely ******* nothing.

Not a bird chirp, a cricket, or wind.

Not a frown, smile, or squint.

******* nothing.

And i remember my operational function, unplugged and bludgeoned, in the intoxication of girls, that whirled right past me, leaving blood, ***, *****, and glass, in my shadow, lifting from the ground, proudly striking down, everything but what mattered, as it shattered my heart, into a million fragmentation's that popped, on every person it came across.

I remember everything, like another's memory, remembering something at the door of knowing, before dying upon its showing, of the path, the caste, the infinite black, staring back from the black, and laid upon me the eyes to look back, and see that it wasn't me, and suddenly ...

I remembered nothing.

I was
So sure
Id meet me
On the tracks
With bags of cash
And some clothes
In hand
But the fire
I had built
Went cold
As my
Second thoughts
Grew old
To the
Truth
Setting
In, but
Apart
from
Me
Where
I rightfully
Left me there
And made off
With my share
Of the loot

Its a fragile balancing act, to stay on track, with all these attractions detracting from my distractions impact, on the blurring depictions of pictures burned in fictions past.

My love was a fire that burnt the edges of my book, spreading to the binding, then from the inside, the flames licked outwardly toward my breath, filling my lungs until black was all that was left.

Ashes brushed aside. I stood with crusted eyes that questioned the surmise, to my late arrival.

Reprisal programmed in the map of my survival, vital to the plans for standing, and rejecting everything I've known, and i have grown in the pain, that has formed my strange demeanor.

My felonious ways, plead behind misdemeanors, for the leaner sentences of my commitments to commence upon the trenches of sheltered fakes, measured, divided, and placed in places to judge the taste of my waste.

Be my guest.

Utopian slaves
In praise
To an appraiser
Carved from clay
With a razor
From a braver man
That took a stand
In rainier days
And fenced them in
From the judgments within
Amen is man
Clouded in sin
We are one
Without
Look within

The misunderstanding is in trying to understand, standing next to lamps in the dark, afraid to embark into the unknown, knowing that knowing is knowing nothing while still quietly judging, but its something to embrace, something to fill the hole, that gently pulls it all into my guts, carrying the burdens with my clutch on the unheard of.

I walk a path of fear with masks to disguise my lies with truth to help me through the illusion of you, holding my hand along the way.

The path is finite, and all encompassing, as it fluctuates into something more appeasing for my needing of a dream to light the way, with telescopic tears, and blinding happies, i'm learning things i already knew.

Dastardly he dashed
To a damsel in distress
Unable to digest
The rippling
Recoiling
Through his chest

The resounding effects
Affecting his election
To shadow step
In the collection
Of her breaths

Tippy toeing
To the test
In his wonder
Toward her depth

As she deflects
His concepts
And attempts
To project
Some common sense
Into his denseness

Commencing
To undress him
Confessing
To her neglect
As limply she lets
Her guard down

Down that road
That road she knows so well

The O'wells she felt
So well to know

To know
He rides alone

And still

She fell for him
Fell before him
The only one
Who felt him

Befell him

And she put him
Before herself

As she swerved
Her life to his side
And subsided
Right beside him

Queen of the kingdom
Captured by his demons

She seen him seldom
But knew them well

Those hearts
She melts them

And loves them still

But he's alone and staring
From a window sill

Old and graying
Dreaming of fields

I want to be a war machine

I want to rupture spleens with a gleam from my eye

I want to spread suffering in lines waiting for lies, just in time to ignite a stupendous sight in one phone call

I want the call to arms to be in the alarms of emergency vehicles

I want the residual survivors slaughtered after given my word as to the **** of every daughter in my New America

I want to just stare at ya as you plead to be spared

Beheaded and laughed upon, kicked down the stairs

I want to judge you

Smother you in your filth

In your guilt

I want to starve your kids with empty ingredients

I want to **** on my **** and smear it in your ears while beating it

I want to stare in each and every eye, as it dies with the burning sky in its frame

I want to scream the names of the slain, from burning castle walls and call, for lost love to return in the squirm of man

I want to demand, flesh from the best of the best, in a contest against the peasants

I want to topple your towers down, in tickling sounds, from trumpets bound in space

I want to spit in your face, drown you in doubts and smack you awake

I want to decimate your graves, and from the tenth left make, toilets for my torturers, in sweltered pits of **** remains

I want the world to shake in the hunger pains, of every fat ****** with burrito stains in his lingerie

I want to serenade an angelic raid, on your made up play, of plastic soldiers eaten by animatronic vultures, as I smolder the beaten toys on the floor

And I want

Really really want

More

Their smiles found the way around a world of woe, waning in the glow of unknowns bestowed in the subtle zone of their atonement.

It was a tumble of disbelief
A rumbling in my belly
A stumble into grief
Through jumbled telepathy

It was me
Looking right back

But only and exactly in the flash
Where irrational brashness
Was splashed upon shattered glass
As he slumped over the dashboard

This night, so unsightly
dampened in the light
darkened by the days
dimmed by the bright
but this night
it's mine
to bide my days
in and of my love
but not stay

oh lord, oh lord
I'm born unto horns
my love, my life
my warnings, my war
oh the lorn, the lorn
my love turned to scorn
tonight, for a night
I am torn toward more

no more
no more
-no more

There are, endemic intricacies, in these, precinctive dreams, I weave, where perforated seas give way to ever changing islands, that if seen, cease to be, unique.

And there is, this feeling of sadness that gives to it, a meaning, a silence, so subtly fit in, a violence inside it that soothes in the end, as the islands, the islands, they sink, but rise again.

And if, I am to write it, I right it, to ride it, into dust, and these dreams, this sea, may only see it for thine ends, merely to feel it, is to say it, is to share it, beyond the fence.

But I keep what I ****, and silence, my defense,  whispering of islands, then drowning in theirs depths, bringing the light unto darkness, and darkness unto the dust of my breaths.

Fading~

I have a jar
Where I keep
Butterflys
To help me
Sleep at night

I count the flutters
From under
My covers

The jar is
Air tight

~

The box~


I keep a razor
In a wooden box

With pictures
Trinkets, jewelry
And lochs

It's under my bed

I keep it locked
And lost the key

But all the faces
Are still in my head

And
       Sometimes
           They
Talk
       To
Me

~

My wishes
Are lies
As I
Cannot
Control
The tide
But i
******* tried
Oh i tried
And crashed
Into the sides
Of rocks

Been ripped open
By barnicles
And attacked
By sharks
But i built
A one man raft
And embarked
Toward an island
In the dark
Where no man
Can live
But me.

But Im tired
From the journey
And all i want
Is to sleep
Just floating
In the sea
Awaiting
Tranquility
As it atones
To me
From deep
below

I will Count every breath, every flicker in the sky, i am prepared to accept what i once denied.

Tall chested, and my chin up, I am uplifted and pushed out, i am that which once was doubt.

I wake without sleep, as numeric patterns, and geometric shapes form my place in a state of diabolatry, from deep below the normal feelings, merging the once dichotomies of my indifference.

Something is just different now.

I have fallen just beyond the facing, of a star that has traveled so far to sing, in scrambled signals, and heated beams, pushing unto me.

I breathe in the toxicity of knowing something, i could not possibly perceive, as a certain grief, fills me, and dies inside.

A dread i cannot appease in knowing that i must do something, but how, but what, but soon i must move to submit to it, regardless of the rift that builds on my broken will, in dispassionate force.

I am someone else, looking back from the portals of my trust, and i have found a secret between all of us, hoping that ill tell myself, before i **** myself on the other side, in another time, from my hell that reaches up, embracing my fear in a meaninglessness that means so much more..

I cannot put my finger on it, until it feeds me more, but the horror is prevalent, and it pours into the holes inside of me, as the empty feelings rise from my naivety, unable to be ignored anymore.

Covered in sweat, and adorned in regrets, that i have never known as of yet, as i once slept to dream, i now dream, to wake, taking nothing with me, but this.

Beloved are the butchers of the roads,  controlled in the uncontrolled.

weighing against the pros and cons of the logically detested gambles, used as examples to rep the little guys who won.

Use the words through the gun in your mouth.

Make shambles in the samples of beauty hacked to pieces.

Break the thesis of unarmed minds shooting blanks into crowds of fakes encased in monitors.

Mindless marauders of cyber slaughter, enacting nothing.

Now the sons and daughters are growing into mommy and daddy's shoes.

Screws loose, refusing to use logic to break the diabolic molds of always tomorrow.

So hallow, hallow hollow, hollering hello through the yellow air.

Tending to stare through the words of slurred trends of despair until nothing.

Until something ... clicks

The spark that flicks... from the lighters of fire fighters, in a slow burn to put the fire out.

A slow churn of spine shivers delivered from that other place.

With a good stern authoritarian face

Say nothing

Shut up

Dont give a **** and never give up.

Enough

Whining

When she mad
She mad
At me

When she sad
She sad
With me

When she happy
She happy
Without
Me

Friend zoned
Friend zzuh-oh-oh-oh
Owned

She is happier
Compared
To me

She is happier
Than i could
Bare to be

Friend zoned

She was a Penelope with a 300 Wetherby going for a long shot across the park, and shot a mans heart out of his back.

She picked up her bags and ran into the packed crowds of proud Americans talking to themselves and staring at feet.

She made her retreat through a hotel lobby and out the back door, but laid down in defeat, when little Robby shot through the door and hit her eye where she died in utter surprise.

An accident, Robby realized his surprise as well, so he ditched the the heater behind the theater next to the lobby, where he got stabbed in a robbery and bled out on the ground in rasping sounds with 15 cell phones out ... just watching.

Sometimes the guns out before i can even rationalize what it is i'm trying to accomplish. It creates an awkward moment were i feel compelled to follow through, in order to remain honest.

Dead men tell no tales, and i figure **** it. who are we anyways to believe we deserve to exist.

******* narcissists.

Not thinking is the main ingredient to getting things done. Flush the programming, the thinking processes, the emotions, and just go with the flow in the actions of every moment.

Shoot first and ask questions later. Though cliche, it separates the alive, and the dead. Do right, and you wont be dead. Not by my hand.

Go beyond~

We could count the stars
Farthest from the start
To find an end

But we could get the bends
Ascending even, its density


~

It's here
Here in the moment

staring into that screen

tap it out
spill it now

immediately

Don't let it go
nor let it know

you're recording

but absord it
and store it in

formlessly

Let it fill your glands
your heart, your blood
then hands

but give it room
to breathe

Can't want
can't crave

can't cave to need

can't break
nor take the dream

can't take it

where it doesn't
want to be

You'll get it
where it's going
eventually

just allow it to be

Ten too many
and babbling

There is, this blue, this, something that grows inside of me, something that coils through me, when the distractions are gone, or forgotten, a forgotten, feeling, rising up from within me, and within me, lifting a hope, a hope from a dream, a dream, suddenly realized, and realized, i was always there, just there, always here, just here, waiting for me, waiting for me to sync to it, to a place, a place, where the light is thicker, in an encompassing blue haze, a blue haze of a comfort, a comfort i will not explain, but will say, that this, this, wholeness, this wholeness exists, i felt it, sitting in a chair, with a view, that i have never viewed, and beside me, things, things i have never seen, and nobody, nobody was there, but me.

It was peace, all that ever was, or shall be, it was me, projecting on the screen, what was needed, to redeem, the blue light for sight, into others dreams, as i master me, tethered by a single string of tranquility, i could, and always can see, the light beyond my thinking, and i think, everything, is where it needs to be, for the time being, a non entity to my being happy, embracing my duality, the happiness, as well the tragedy, of the sadness that lurks, upon the birth, of reprisal, to take me higher, than i ever knew to desire til now, as now, is all there ever was.

Why not be cynics, and all act like dogs today, maybe walk around with lamps to say, where are the honest men, where are their fathers then, we don't need this ****, as we can, **** on legs, and beg for space, protest in plays, and secede to the streets, let us all be ******* today, just like [Diogenes].

From the shade of leafs, it endeavours up the building, and crawls in through a screen, where it gets caught in a spiders web, where its twitching turns to screaming, as it is slowly eaten.

The crawly thing.

Its hard to be serious
Around emo *******
Always so furious
To the point of delirium
Screaming and crying
Like nobodies hearing them
But they loud and clear
And i just don't ******* care
Above and beyond
That **** already aired
When i dared to be a man
Brushed my shoulders
And cleaned my hands
Broke up the boulders
And cleared my head
For the next test
And bled for the best mess
I could organize
And legitimized
What i could
But oh what i would give
To be there again
To feel misunderstood
And give a ****
Before this fish on land
Sprouted hands
And demanded
Control of everything
To feel at home
I miss feeling alone and unknowing
I miss being lost
I miss being found
I miss the pain
The moment
Most profound
I miss the sound
Of my heart pounding
When a future lover comes around
I love the nouns
The verbs
The words
Rolling out a lovers mouth
When the block
Was a world
And we hurt
Ourselves for love
Bled for love
Anything for love
For love
Is forgotten
Of begotten imagery
Fading into a city of blocks
Cities in flocks
Flocks in droves
Droves in a world
And worlds
Clumped into galaxies
And everyone
Just keeps getting
Further and further
And further away
Until out of view

I'll be you
Like a dream
Without belief

I'll be you
Unto me
Unhappy

I'll be you
To see you
Through me

I'm you
Slowly
Collapsing

In fantasy

Let them spill their worth

Of beloved righteousness

Let them soak the soil of such vanity

Let their hollow hearts decry the stars

Where death devours this very breath

Let loose the whaling of hidden drums

And the trumpets that sound from depths above

Let agony free through the fires that burn our air and drink our waters dry

Let them cry at the feet of nothing

Cry of nothinnnng

Noth

innng

As it drains them dry

bigger
stronger
smarter
kinder
and dead

The ******
The flunky
The automaton monkey

The husband
The wife
Living half the life
Half as bright

The weak
The strong
Living half as long
As the dumb

The hammer
The knife
The enamour
Of life
Sliced
Into bite size

The lies
The truth
The old
The youth
The spies
The mutes
The bold
The brutes

Locked in cages
Blocked in mazes
Mocked in stages

Until grounded
Until pounded into the dirt
Until astounded
In floundered
Meandering
Of the meaning
Demeaning
The reason
For being
Right

Retreating
From the lesions
Where the light
Shone through
In pursuit
Of the truths
You already knew
It is all there
Glaring back at you

The dust slowly swirling, discs whirling into one lump sum, twirling of all the things undone to be born under an infant sun, in a clump of the stuff in which this sun was made up.

Loved in its embrace, of circling lace, as a gift to haste its facing into space and replace the place where empty space once stood

Call her wormwood, as her wobbling turns wandering, and wittily heads for earth, on the path of rebirth, to a compact burst of matter, scattering our planet in solar soaring of the seeding of our being from the black and back to dust.

Swirling, whirling, twirling, of the things undone, and reborn unto the dying sun.

Insipid are interests indulged
The tease is the tether
The seasons, the weather
In severance made better

Evolved~

I only wish that i had light to give instead of ****, but you give me happy tears, and if it wasn't so dark out here i wouldn't have seen you there so barren of the shield in yield to the dark, where we had embarked on a blackened sea, where infinite meets zero, we met and looped through to the point in which, we just knew, in echoed flows of timed, rhymeless suicides of lines that pock marked our minds, mapping the incline of the tides that reside in the fine print, signed in kind of my trying subconscious, synced, makes me nauseous to think, that the ******* will meet, where destiny completes, as you are existing, outside me, wanting to be, in danger of a stranger that knows your name.

I live on a planet that will eat you
No matter your thoughts nor your ego
With seven billion people
All of them evil
Blood lusting, dumb
or deceitful

They will defeat you

I live on a land that will feed you
But to beat you,
Freeze you
To build you,
Into

A machine

A machine that harvests energy
from the trees
But only to leash you
To lead you,
Unto
Unleashing
upon the
seas

But to deplete you
To fill you

of these

d
  r
   e
     a
       m
          s


I live in a prison system
In a solar driven orbit
In a spinning piston
of an engine
that absorbs
It

And
It

i
t

is a
planetary
collision course set
Forced in motions not
born yet

A speeding galaxy
ending on its
onset

An ocean of matter
serving as a
concept

A banner
filled of skeptics
and of prophets

Even the nonsense
of our profits

Is prospect

to the progress
of a faucet
unsolved
yet

stopping
where it

S
t
  a
   r
    t
     e
      d

absolved
of it

heart

l
e
  s
   s

He wrote to please, and wrote of things that sounded like lies, up until they found the bodies, and disguises.

He torched the wounds, and assumed longevity in his nativity of babies, where he laid in a crib, to accept the gifts, of wise men.

He wrote of feelings, reeling in the fish, of the rarest dishes, swishing the poisons, of his potions, he anointed himself Man, standing proud with his **** out.

He was, and is, without a doubt, the weirdest sound your type have found, from your island resorts, to your wooded towns, you wish him near you, and its so.

Invisible divisions of permissible
          incisions

      envisioned to see
the mission through.

Missing trains but passing through, watching me
    watching you.

          Nonsensical,
   reprehensible vessels
to my ventricle center

               Tethered
     on your bettered batch of *******
jet purpulsing slips of lips

My grips,
    our grip
    weakening
       on whatever this is.

           My bliss,
      your numbness,

  shiny,

    as blood
in moonlight is,

   ~ black.

Sustained
Is the
Stasis
From the
Sanctuary
Of this
Spaceship

We bantered of finer flings, as we toasted with our moistened teeth, but had seen better rings on stronger trees, swaying in the breeze of the oncoming traffic.

This message
It will self destruct

This message
It deconstructs

This message
An eruption
Of my consumption
Of the bad

My feel bads
For damage done
With an empty gun
In hand

Collect the shells
Sweep the scraps
It dont matter
Who was first
But last

We all cast shadows
Here and now
From frown
To pout

We all go out
Like *******

I came
I saw
I felt it all

And stopped

I stepped to stars
Where I joined
In being apart

And I came to in a crowded room
Confused but lucid

But that world
That world I knew

I lost it

So I started
Building it new
In the bruising fruits
Of my labor

While I slept

Knowing
I would
Always
See you
Again

[No Regrets]

What can come of a silence that permeates so deeply within my inspirations, that it is layered but twice of mine own hesitance.

How are my words to live, but never given in a desperation that enriches my will of wants, but is to be forgotten by mornings noise.

To fold my hands and look away, has become the very nature of my innate ability to walk away, chanting the names of those who wish me well.

The title has become a contrived precursor to lead astray the feelings without means to convey.

No one else but I.

No one else but I may know what flows beneath my flesh until it ceases to be recognizable to me, you, or by any sense of words that blur in the misshapen dragging that only you will see, only you may see what you want to see, and see it you will, but wrongly.

In downtrodden androgyny, the ample beast is butchered in the streets, released to the **** ******* bottom of cautioned pits, gritting limply in the lozenged fists of gimps sweating **** from their pours to no cause, nor reward, under the sword of mechanical animals, scrambling the signals to the heart, from a world apart in darting remembrance of the severance from the start departed to the end of no means in abstract pings to the outer dark.

A palpitating essence
Surrounds him
Fluctuating
Darkening
Pressing in

On his chest

His breath
Different than before

As he speaks his name
Into his hand
As another man
Disoriented
In the echoes

He lets go
Of that which
Can not
Be undone
But traced
In the flickering lines
Of the place
That once existed

Shining

Reflecting
In his face

He smiles
In sedation
Embracing
Whats expected

And goes blank

Awake

Again

Predisposed
With which ring
To kiss
She limps
To her office
And sits
Watching the clock
Tic until toc
And shes off work
With a silly little smirk
She talks
On her phone
As shes walking
Home
So alone
So alone
Until now

Super
Hero

Zero Uno

Hears no
Ear fulls

Fears no
Beers whole

Strolls all over here

But Zero Uno
Zeroed on fools gold

Yonder uno upon a pier

Where Nero
And Brunno

Steer those
Heros clear

And you know



Splash

This
This is the day
This is the day you cry
The day you cry the hardest

But these
These are the days
These are the days you loved
The days you loved the most

A reminder of futility, in the withering agility of fading days turned night, decaying in the leaves, of dreams, shriveling, as they drop into the crisping frost of lost light.