she feels the need to be needed

another one's desire--
that's what she wants to be
involved and in love with another soul,
just like hers
but maybe a little different

she needs someone to sit in the grass with,
someone that will play with her hair
and trace circles around her hipbones
while laying in the sunshine

someone that will be her sunshine
on the mornings of the days
when her body feels chained to the bed
unable to face what the world has planned for her
unable to escape the darkness of the room

the light that creeps in through the blinds
and brightens her face
makes her wonder, is that you?

He poured the coffee
Into the cup
He put the milk
Into the cup of coffee
He put the sugar
Into the coffee with milk
With a small spoon
He churned
He drank the coffee
And he put down the cup
Without any word to me
He emptied the coffee with milk
And he put down the cup
Without any word to me
He lighted
One cigarette
He made circles
With the smoke
He shook off the ash
Into the ashtray
Without any word to me
Without any look at me
He got up
He put on
A hat on his head
He put on
A raincoat
Because it was raining
And he left
Into the rain
Without any word to me
Without any look at me
And I buried
My face in my hands
And I cried

The wind winds up and smacks
the back side of a newspaper sheet
as it jogs along the gravel of the projects.
There is a cacophony of sounds
but always discernible is a baby's cry
and a young mother singing, ah, la-la, la-la

la-la
an aria.
Crystalline, tentative, sorrowful.
Where did her young man go?
Where do all the young men go?

Doors slide open, you walk out in slow motion.

Just another day,
Trying to find a way
To make the pain subside
But you're broken inside
Trying to find a place to hide, but no need.

You're invisible. In your mind, you live life unseen.
Why does it hurt?
Why does it feel as if your shirt's too tight at the collar?
Struggling to breath.
Struggling to leave.
This space inside your heart.
Trying to forget. Undecided. Confused. Lost. Regret?

People fly by, trying to get by
Pushing their way through
Pushing right past you
Right by you
Right through you.
Fighting back to hold those tears
Trying not to show those fears.
Why? How? Does it have to be this way?
Why is there nothing left to say?
These thoughts float around in your mind and
Your life becomes simply... Grey.

Make a left around the corner,
Brush your hair aside,
Now you can't hide
Maybe it's time to start over...
Maybe it's time to let go...
Not everyone is angry
Not everyone is horrible
Not everyone is mean.

While you tried to go unseen, I saw you.
I saw you.
I felt what you were, heard what you thought, tasted what you craved
You're beauty so rare, so unique, so breath-taking, so mind-boggling, so heart-wrenching.
Did you think the world is blind?
Do you think for one second that you can stay out of my mind?! What mind..?
I lost that when I saw you.
And with my mind, my heart went too.
And crazy dreams I started chasing...
How did you expect to go unnoticed, when you're just so **** amazing?
Like black on white.
Like dark on light.
With strength and might you snatched my heart
Without realization of the cost.
Could it be that you're just a part of my imagination
Or is this just my hopes flying too high?
It can't be, not I. This isn't like me.
Why can't I see anyone but you?



You carry on through life
People pushing past you, flying by
And you think you're unnoticed.
Well how can this be?
Because the thing YOU didn't notice
Is that the one going unnoticed
Just so happens to be *me.

if only you would open your eyes,
if only you realized that my love for you is real.
if only you knew how much you mean!
if only i could get love the way i give it.
if only i could be positve and tell everyone this!
If only you would knew my past and how i use it
if only you knew how much i think about you
see but you dont do you?
your just like the rest why get my hopes up?

I would sit in front of a computer screen for hours,
just to see your blurred face,
and here the whispers of your words.

I would stay up til' 2am,
to call and tell you Happy Birthday,
so you could wake up to the sound of my voice.

I would learn to play your favorite song,
and sing it while I play,
on an instrument I've never touched.

I would reminiss in the few, but precious,
romantic moments we once had,
so many months ago.

I would make up bedtime stories,
of princesses, knights, and Nyan Cats,
to give you sweet dreams at night.

For you, I would do anything.

No matter how far away, I think about you every day.
No matter what I say, your name will always appear.
No matter how long it takes,
for us to meet again,
I will be there.

War is everywhere.
Not only among our countries, but
in our communities, our schools, our homes.
From the bully down the block,
to the programs on our televisions,
it's everywhere.
But no one else seems to see it.
In a matter of two weeks
I witnessed mall shootings in Oregon,
attended a funeral to a man I knew,
along with hundreds of other people
to support a family who's lost.
In Conneticut, family after family was left
broken,
because of the missing pieces
starved,
of love from someone who wouldn't come home,
robbed,
of any sense of safety ever again.
And we,
all of us,
sit idly by
guns in the nightstand of our bedrooms,
gory video games consuming the lives of
children. Young, innocent children.
It makes me so sad to watch this all happen.
To hear all these voices, asking for change,
but no action.

She was little, smart and brave. Barely five
her thoughts reflected an older woman.
My sister looking at me to survive,
Her silly smile asking me this question…

Whatcha  gonna do when the day turns blue?
When the sky fills with the many lonely tears,
You ask and beg then nobody comes through.
You're left soaked to the bone when no one hears.

The day becomes all time, slowly filling
with blue. Overwhelming and contagious.
You can’t stop it, but you are not trying.
That’s what you have to do, fly when wingless.

Not because you can, but because you must.
Fill the world with the light inside your soul.
This is what I told her, and I began
to tell her of how a mare loves her foal.

The honey smell of thunder clouds, the feel
of a dog’s soft wet tongue rinsing your cares
down the drain. Every wound can start to heal.
Of sitting by a fire in big armchairs.

These are feelings she has yet to know. Soon
she will touch the velvet of a lambs ear.
My wise butterfly leaving her cocoon.
Of all I wish for you, one thing is clear.

Never feel the blue, and think no one will
break through.  Because you will be forever
laughing in sun. At last your worries still.
I will always be there your one anchor

Exposed. Unclosed
Unused and disposed.
In an attempt to be attached,
I was detached and let go.
In search for affection
It became an infection.
Made the choice to walk my own path
With no sense of direction.
A woman of progression.
A girl of aggression.
Constant presence of a hole, never quit whole.
House was never home.
Never felt "with company"
But never left alone.
Refutation of becoming a clone.
Reputation of being a *****.
But what's the perfect woman?
Without an imperfect glitch?
Torn, never stitched.
Never fixed.
But never cry.
Not too many hellos.
Way too many goodbyes.
Once I filled myself with pride. .
Never felt more alive.
To begin the life I wanted to live,
I first had to die.
Try to understand, interpret just who I am.
All the places which I have fallen
Have led me to where I stand.

corruption is the sin
charm is the curse
the fact that you don't know.
makes the matters worse.