When pins and pressure plates crawl into my spent shoulders
I clutch madly to crush the offending sinews.

When I’ve grazed the side of my tongue with an accidental death-threat
I revisit the spot and repeatedly incise, until I’m ******* crimson and tears.

When the she-squito shoots me up via serrated needle turning me feastlike
My fingernails compulsively scavenge out the adenosine deaminase.

I sniff the arid bottles of perfumes I love that are no longer manufactured.
I re-trace my lost friendships through the riverside paths we made.
I chop onions and slurp hot sauce until I’m dry.

Maybe that’s why I’m stuck on you.

Up there on the top shelf
Carelessly stowed away
Is a paper plane
Is has been sitting there for a while
Collecting dust
Connecting cobwebs

It has a pilot
Carefully depicted inside
He's waving at me
Telling me to hop along
Once more

We used to fly
Go on magic paper adventures
In that fragile paper plane
We would explore paper worlds
Playfully made up as we needed them
And we would return
With mysterious smiles
Secret memories
No one would understand

But secrets were one day exposed
A terrible storm blew up
Lightning torched the paper worlds
All flights got cancelled
And the paper pilot was sacked

...

As I gaze at it once more
I sense him waving at me again
I smile
My bags are packed
I'm ready to go

I wave back at him
And leave a paper note
Then I walk out of the door
The taxi is waiting
To take me to the airport

**** you!
For the nights I tried to sleep
But the thought of you kept me awake
For the moments I'd like to keep
Even though there's a lot at stake.

**** you!
For the days I spent in fear
Of the day you'd go somewhere new
For the music I endlessly hear
'cause I got the files from you.

**** you!
For the electric current in the air
Every time we would happen to meet
For the desire to smell your hair
Even though it wouldn't be descreet.

**** you!
For the pictures you plant in my head
Every time I hear your name
For the words that were never said
Though we both seemed to feel the same.

**** you!
For pretending to be real
Even though we are worlds apart
For offering me this deal
Although it was doomed from the start

**** you!
For always being there
Whenever I needed advice
For being the one to care
Making no other suffice

**** you!
For staying so ******* close
Nearly ****-blocking every girl
For handing me an overdose
Of your over-imaginative world

**** you!
For the feelings so forbidden
That could never be shown to the world
For the connection we had to keep hidden
Or else into hell we'd be hurled

**** you!
For saying you'd be my friend
When really it was a lie
For the rules that you tried to bend
And the words that could make pigs fly

**** you!
For incessantly writing
Those poems of longing and lust
For making them sound so inviting
As if in the dream we could trust

**** you!
For giving me master key
To your innermost secrets and thoughts
For creating such vivid fantasy
Without giving it second thoughts

**** you!
For forcing me thus to end
This wonderful journey of words
I ask you no longer to send
Your thoughts even when it hurts

I took a trip today
let myself go
on a quiet rush
unnoticed
and in plain sight
I let myself go

I took a trip today
let my blood go
on a mad rush
unwarranted
but deliberate
I let my blood rush

I felt it that morning
as soon as I opened my eyes .
I felt it like a lump
a malicious tumour
spreading

I sensed that he was awake
that he was also aware
of the looming change
the air was dense with words
unspoken
but his countenance spoke for him
I sensed his frustration
his words struggling to get out
but he couldn't
words were not his territory
like they were mine
So I spoke for him
like I always had
but that morning
for the last time

As the pale January sunlight crept in
I asked him if he wanted out
he did not speak
he just nodded
and the lump between us
exploded

We died that day
so he and I could live

God is Real?
      God is Fake?
make some Love,
      plant a Stake