Blue was my favorite as a kid
I didn’t know why till now
blue kisses I give
no one seems to notice how

with none to love
none to have
alone as before
i’m used at being bored

heed my warning
blue kisses i give
i wished i knew this before
before i gave you that kiss

I'll be stubborn and keep writing
while knowing this leads to nothing
trails of paper I leave
mountains I heave
with hopes I'll recover
till then I slumber

seeing you heal feels a huge relief
watching you from here makes me proud
but I ask you this, how do you do it?
maybe it falls onto me that I swore to you too much
to the point I can't let go
or maybe I just refuse to let you go

I chose to love one
even now I choose no one
a curse I cast upon me
a curse I accept wholeheartedly
no amount of love can exceed
to what I gave and did
maybe someone could do the same
but we both know
no one else but us
can inflict this much pain

I'll be far, far as much as I can
even though deep down I know
I'll be near as soon as I hear your name
pathetic as I can be yet mundane

Chaos was all I ever knew
Oh how I envy you
I traded my heart for a can of stew
for wanting to give everything to you

I'll trade my life for one more night
one more late night walk
or maybe just a late night talk
while I get mesmerized as you spoke
or maybe just one more dinner
and after we'll wash the dishes together
and only then I'll be alright.

We agreed i’d let you be
But i just don’t want you to see
How worse i have been
How poisonous i could be

I told you that i’ll stop writting
I can’t keep those words
When i only shelter to these poems
Without you i’m cursed

I can’t face the world with my back empty
All I need was for you to be with me
But i know now it’s impossible to see
You again, just right next to me