People fear death
Or more so,
What happens to our consciousness when our bodies can no longer be vessels for it
And I think
It is much like leaving the womb

You have this whole world inside of there
You like it (sometimes)
But you know you must eventually leave
And you don't know to where

You think it's probably far away,
But in fact it's
Right there
Only inches away

I think death is
Right there
I don't know if that makes everything more or less scary

He ran into the street
The light was red
He made a car swerve

"You could die"
I scream at him from the sidewalk;
Eyes red and full of tears

"I want to,
And you want me to
So it wouldn't be that bad!"
He screams back
I just suggested upping the phone volume...

Everything is loud and out of control
Sounds of city surrounding me

So I just stand there
11 years old and alone
I don't know what to say
So I say nothing at all

He makes it to the other side
I don't know how to feel
He feels far away yet still too close
And I know I'll have to go closer

Let me present to you
The beginning of my birthday evening

"I don't deserve anything"
She says
Tears pouring down her cheeks
Like little pieces of her soul

Were they claustrophobic
Or is there a hole where they should be now?

"You deserve everything
That's just Fred"
I tell her while caressing her back
Trying desperately to soothe the pain

"What?"
She says with a break in her voice that hurts to hear
I wish I could all of her's

"Fred is that monster in your head that tells you exactly what you don't need to hear"

"I hate Fred
And I hate me"
She says
I hear the desperation in her voice

"You're my friend
And I love you
Which means that I have to love Fred too
Because he is a part of you

Fred is just pain
He's often forced into these small nooks and cranny's in your mind
But it's dark and scary in there
He thinks he's helping you
And feels he has to come out sometimes

He's just bruised and broken
And that's fine
We all are
I still love you"

She says that she doesn't
She says she wants to die
I know how the world looks right now in her eyes
And it's not beautiful

I tell her that I'm there for her always
And that she's wonderful
That the world is awful and ugly
But also stunning

I tell her that those people don't know her
And that those words in that letter might have hurt her
But do not define her
And that some other ones might even comfort her

And after many more tears,
A coconut ice cream,
Some comfort food with a comfort show,
And a warm embrace,
Fred finally held her hand
And maybe,
She hated him a bit less
By the end

It turns out that
My room
Or what used to be my room
Still smells of me and my mom painting it on a Saturday afternoon
Even if it's empty

The spot on the wall
"Happiness: an endless chase"
I wrote at 11
Still lives hidden in the corner

Big tree
On my front yard
It is a beauty
And it brings back so many memories

Suddenly
I'm a little curly-haired toddler
Walking around it
Swinging from the branches
Trying to fly
Little did I know
I already was

Then I'm 7 years old
Playing hide and seek
Hiding behind it
Both from my friend trying to find me
And the cruel world

And finally I'm 12
Hugging it
Thanking it for all its done
Stroking it while the tears strock my cheeks
...
"Goodbye"
I whisper
Knowing that it may be a long time until I will be able to be comforted by it once more

The wind blows
"Goodbye"

Now I stand in front of it again
"Hello again, my friend
I've missed you"

I do not exist
Everyone thinks I do
But I don't

I am an idea
A *****
I am a construct
(That you people are dependent on)

I am an imaginary, non-physical, number on a screen
I am a piece of paper
A card
A circular piece of copper
That is often the determining factor
Between life and death;
Survival in this cruel world

There are ones with much of me
And lucky ones they are
They have access to services
And being treated with the common needs that should come with being here
And being alive

And there are some that are unlucky
And lack me
They live hard lives working and tiring
Even though I don't exist
Who will tell them
That this should be pointless?

I can be stolen
Inherited
Hoarded
And broken

I am manipulated like a game
No one enjoys to play me

I'm supposed to measure
What someone's labor is worth
But I don't

Factors slip by me
Such as garbage men
Almost the same as doctors
Being needed in society

I breed selfishness
And greed
There are so many families I do not feed

I make you feel trapped and worthless
I am cause for death
I should be abolished

What am I?

Bright and beautiful
With daisies in her golden flowy hair
The sun rises each morning
Bringing light, warmth, and comfort
to all the people
As long as they don't look right at her

If they look at her directly
Their eyes burn
Because they see that she is burning

She quite literally spreads her sunshine
She doesn't have much left for herself sometimes
So every night she lets her lover
Take a turn in the sky

Shiny and beautiful
The light in the dark
The moon crosses the sun
To take over the night

They share a quick kiss
And the sky fills with color
Stunning
But doesn't last forever
They wish they could see each other longer
But they have matters to take care of
The moon now owns the night

But the sun isn't the only one
Who brings comfort;
the moon is often the only one there
For the terrified and sad
The creative and restless

The dreamers are awake.

The moon is there
Constantly changing
But there
A reminder that things don't ever stay the same

But eventually
The moon wishes to see their love;
The bright and beautiful
Even if it's shortlived

Sunrise lights up the sky
And the sun is ready to shine once more