Liana

Liana Jan 6

When I see my bleeding skin
I think of you
How you did this too

When I cry
I think of you
How it's your fault

When I see a good father
I think of you
And how I'll never get that too

When I think of that big tree on what used to be my front yard
I think of you
And how you kicked me and my mom out

When I feel depressed and terrible
I think of you
And how you're proof that it doesn't always get better

Been in my drafts for weeks but I didn't write anything better to post today :/

(This note was written by the crying face emoji that was actually crying happy tears. Everyone always expects the worst from him.)

Liana Jan 5

I want to feel better, but bad feelings grab me

Bad feeling
Creeping up on me
I want to escape
But it's taking me

Unexpected
Kind of like a sharp pain
Except with depression

I looked in to meds
I think I need them
When can I receive them?
I want to feel better already

Why don't I have friends?
Why is all I could do on a Saturday
Sit there
With my cat
And waste my time in some way or another?

When the distraction takes a break
Anxiety
Depression
They grab me
Pull me

"No, let me go!"
I shout

It doesn't
Ruthless and red eyed
They have taken me away

They have suddenly grabbed any pleasant feeling
And crumbled it before me

"No!"
I sob

I want to feel better already

Not feeling great today

(This note was written by current water that was once Plato's tears.)

Liana Jan 4

B R E A K I T D O W N

The smallest things
Seem so overwhelming
Take a shower
Get dressed
Get out of bed
Clean
All of them
Seem so hard to do
They take so much energy

I've learned that the only thing that helps

I s

T o

B r e a k

I t

D o w n

Even with the small things

Wheneverharmonicathingsredpilemicrowaveovereachotherlightbulbitsbalconystartstogetbananacrazy

Sorry if the last part was confusing

(This note was written by someone's autocorrect in their brain malfunctioning a lot. I know many like this.)

Liana Jan 4

Anxiety

Anxiety,
Leave me alone

Anxiety,
Let me be

Stop getting in the way
Allow me fun
And relax

Stop with the teary eye
Trouble catching my breathe

Anxiety,
Let me enjoy things
Let me genuinely smile

Leave me alone
Let me feel calm for a while

Stop taking over my life
And my mind

Anxiety,
Please be more kind

Releasing this from drafts

(This kite was written by an alarm clock named gobnaujqlnsk but was pronounced as "ken" because English makes things complicated. The alarm clock eats submarines for brunch.)

Liana Jan 4

Am I dead?

I sometimes wonder
If I am dead

The question is
Is this heaven
Or hell?

What if
This is the best it gets
Or is it the other way around?
No one
Is ever truly always happy

What if we all used to be stars
And we exploded
And this is where we go?

Our bodies
Are just a home for our souls

Is this heaven?
Is this hell?
Or maybe that's how luck works

What if
The world decides if this very same planet
Will be good or bad for you?

Maybe
We just exist?

Maybe there isn't
Always a reward or punishment?

Maybe
We never truly die?
Or actually
Or are were always dead?

What is dead?
Who knows
Maybe it's me

Probably not the average thought of a middle schooler in class
...
But my head enjoys torturing me

(This note was written by your ceiling that we never look at anymore. I like to look at the ceiling if any place I am. I think they feel ignored.)

Liana Jan 3

My mother

My mother holds her head in her hands
I think it's because of me
My mental health
Is not what she wishes it to be

"I'm sorry"
I say in tears
"Okay"
She responds
I'm missing the "it's"

"I'm sorry"
I try again
..
She ignores it

My head explodes of thoughts of guilt
I can't handle it

"What do you want to do?"
She asks after a while
I think to myself
"Die"
But change it quickly
How dare I think that way

I stay silent

My mother is shaking her knee
She's upset
Stressed
She doesn't know what to do with me
I don't either

"I'm sorry"
I sob
"Why?
Why are you sorry, Liana?"
She asks exasperated
Like apologizing was a crime

I don't answer
I don't want to make things worse

I just cry

My mother sighs
I don't know what to do
She's my sane parent
The best thing I have
How dare I hurt her in any way

I want to say sorry
But I am sorry for saying sorry

My head is going to collapse

(this note was written by a closet that leads to the water where there is a friendly shark called Dan.)

Liana Jan 3

Young

Sure
I may be young
But I still have memories

Sure
I may be young
But I'm not stupid

Sure
I may be young
But I understand so much more than you think

Sure
I may be young
But the horrors of the world no longer shock me

Sure
I may be young
But I've seen a lot

Sure
I may be young
But that doesn't mean
I need to respect you
and you can't respect me

Please ignore my age, it doesn't match my soul

(This note was written by a magic test that proves mental ages and makes it impossible for toddlers to have kids. People under 18 can put soup in a bowl too.)