Crashing on the drums of the ears with the rhythm of madness and the force of hate with the colours of night as they scream of justice with no idea of why

Three times an hour often more
You drive us insane you media *****

I'm glad you share your day with me
What you eat and when you ***

****** me! Your in the gym
There's a shock I don't think

It's raining now the cat's come in
Every detail you type in

Am I critical or cruel to point this out
Your whole l life is Facebook now

Oh now it's worse than that
Now you have a twitter account

MySpace to and instagram
You a media ***** and that's a fact

You spend all day telling the world
What you do, when and where

Odd it seems with all you say
I've never met you anyway!!!

Pour myself another drink
I should stop writing and denounce HP
It has become a voice to my nightly brain fever
More serious disease than syphilis
As it eats away at my brain
I suspect in much the same way
In past a vent for the toxic thoughts off divorce
Preoccupied in bitter tears and hatred
Not seeing its healing potential till now
A display of my emotion
Sometimes intense yet so often lost to others
A soap box of parody that hid a broken heart
An inverse playground of my deepest fears
In that it has many swings and roundabouts
Of love, for others here
Some home so long since gone
Dealings with grief and loss of substance
My family
Now seems like a wrecking ball formed verse when re read
Others I cannot see where I was in my head
Lights on yet not at home
The words don't fit now
I thought STOP!
Delete
But that would be failed testament to myself.
The gin now speaks not me (metaphoric as drinking Bundaberg Guava as good for the kidneys and to wash down my acidophIlus tablets just to clear up that I'm not a wino!)
A bottle opened to embrace
Odd as I can't remember when I last loaded
More so on a school night
I was told to look in not omit myself by helping others
Give me some me time
I have time
I dwell, cogitate to detriment and find no solution
So Yes may be his answer and his inner solace
It is not yet for me.
Goodnight Mrs Kalabash see you in St Louis

Three notes define the entrance and none the exit.
A message sent to you and only you alone. Do you open it now or leave it to later.
If it was important would they not have called?
A modern dilema we all bought into.
We became slaves to our own devices.
So do the three notes define us or command us?
Is it now to late to save us from
ourselves?

Love doesn't fall apart as it ages
It isn't like a building but none the less needs maintenance
We often strangle it with expectation or smother its voice.
It isn't alive and yet we must feed it.
It has no conscience and yet we scold it with angry words.
It has no substance at all and yet can be poisoned.
There is no structure to it, no plan.
Though we treat it as a building, a temple or shrine.
It collapses without a sound but the screams are deafening.
When love is done it doesn't walk away like a wounded animal to die alone.
It is euthanized by some, executed by others but always killed by one.
So what of love, Is it real
Is it yours or mine or ours?
Is it stolen, loaned or cheated?
However you obtain it remember to nurture it or like any living thing...
It will die.

Turn the TV on but I don't want to watch it
Pick up a book I will never read
Close my eyes but sleep escapes me
As million thoughts freefall away
Its not today or yesterday or simply days before
It's the replay of life 30 yrs before
What is contentment what will stop this film
That plays in my mind when I try to sleep

Oh mirror mirror on the wall
I think I'm drunk he's gone the bar
Oh Mirror mirror shut your face
I look like i've been smacked again
Oh Mirror mirror your so **** cruel !
The ***** seems to make me drool
Oh Mirror mirror make up time
Mascara in my ****** eye
Oh Mirror mirror lets make a deal
Just keep still my lipys smeared
Oh Mirror mirror I'm finished now
Off to lure another man
Oh Mirror mirror see you soon
If i need to top this up!

Fuzzy and grey
Hard to see through
Nothing reflected
Blocking the light
Looking out
Not inside
Who wants to see?
They just get rejected
For looking within
Tearful for no reason
Every reason but none
Like windows to a soul
That isn't their own
No place to go poking
Around on your own
No one to guide you
No one to hold
Behind those eyes
It's' hollow
It's cold
Though it wasn't always
When some lit a fire
He stamped it out
Blamed lust over love
For fear of desire
Loosing just what?
Now empty is all
No love left inside
Don't look in the mirror  
There's nothing to find

I remember our first meeting.
She wore a seatbelt in a hackney. She said some things could never be spoken of, and proceeded to discuss them at length.
I never knew was it to entice me?
Or shock the driver.
I'm guessing a little of both as he seemed deflated when we reached our destination.
She talked of her ventures on the internet.
She called it ebay for people.
It's more like "click and collect" for Argos.
Buying unseen and hopeful it's not broken or not what you wanted when you got it home.
Moments later she passed out.
I carried her upstairs and put her to bed. Covered her as she talked in her sleep.
I'm guessing he wasn't from Argos.
But he was indeed broken.
I placed a glass of water next to her bed.
Closed the door.
Walked home.
We never spoke again.
And sometimes later becomes never

Almost aloof yet engaging
She carried herself daily in fastidious fashion
Approachable yet distant
The inner workings hidden from all
Yet when pressed loving and kind
So much so to her detriment
Trying to reason with fools
Cost her the career of her dreams
Once I saw her guard down
Fractional then raised
Then as I met her in turmoil
I said goodbye the same

Some say we have lived our lives many times before
Each life another opportunity
They believe a soul mate criss crosses our path
And that said we miss each other
If I have spent my lives looking for you
Have you been looking for me?
Are we the same age?
Have I missed you?
Are you in a foriegn land?
Or have you moved into the next life?

I began to make mistakes the first moment I saw her face

Monday
Why?
Can I rename you
You have lurked since Friday
Spoiling the fun
Friday!
Now there's a day
Not enough of them
Well bacon butty time
That will raise a smile
And my cholesterol
Sod my diet

Moon rise over Secombe
Where's the supermoon?
No bigger than ****** normal
In a ***** orange gloom

The biggest moon for years!
They said all over the news
And hidden in the clouds up there
like a torch with a failing bulb.

It's supposed to be romantic
For lovers to bathe beneath
Get naked and romantic!
Not here you'll ****** freeze

All the scousers watching
Looking for a glimpse
"My ****" said a voice in the crowd
Let's get a fecking drink.

When you wake today I won't be there
I'll sleep in another part of your world
It's happened that way and always did
For we never knew either exists

As you open up your eyes the day is new,
like a blank canvas that awaits your brush
Pure untouched yours to paint, with all the things that fill your day

You will start your day with things all planned
Meetings, lunch and desert sands
But in all of that know one thing
Tonight you will be alone again

Who is this stranger
A face that seems so familiar
It's features coarse and hard
Its whiskers grey and rough
Eyes no longer bright
Dark rings beneath them
Bags, no, more like holdalls
Wash and groom gel and shave
Presentable for today
A day for what
Who's the effort for
What meaning now as I'm alone
It's not enough my face is rough
My little fellas shrunk to a stump!
No morning glory anymore
Just memories of fun had before
So gel or wax? Who gives a toss
I may even shave it off
Who's to care if it's a cue ball head
Between the hrs I spend in bed
Enough enough ! Get a grip
The stranger really does exist
You lost, your path took a wrong track
Now though you must come back
Until the morn when as before
The stranger looks at you once more

My head hit the pillow and I was gone
The days caught up on me
My mind had no time to dream I just slept
I awoke refreshed yet laboured
I wish I could edit the weekend
Just keep the good parts
But did the bad parts make the good parts good?
Is the measure of good benchmarked by it?
A long  week ahead. What will life bring?
Less bad I beg as I've seen enough for this life

Buzzing around I know your there
I can't see you little *******
Just the sound of your wings
I look on the curtains around the bed
Drift of to sleep and know your still there
Woke up this morning bite on my face
This is now war you parasitic ***
I've bought a blue light to lure you in
Then fry your *** when your close to it

How many beats do you get with a heart
If you miss or skip, does god take an hr?
If it's broken by one do you lose a week?
When loved by another do you gain a year?
If it's fast from food or a little much pop
Does old father time hasten your clock
If you go to the gym, be good or eat well
Does it slow down the journey to heaven or hell ?
Elle sweet thing we simply don't know !
But the love of you mother makes yours beat on
So listen to hers as you did in the womb
For it still beats for you, your never alone x

Hello Mr Moon can we chat?
I hope you don't mind are you ok with that?
You see at night I simply don't sleep I lie here alone
There's only you to talk to as you shine into my room
I wonder what it felt like the day we came to you
Landed on your surface and walked all over you
Ragged around in buggies and had a round of golf
Then packed and left our *******, then we blasted off
I'd rather think your cheese as we all are told as kids
Than Monsanto or Exxon go visit you as well
I know you don't hear me my bright shiney friend
But good night Mr Moon until we meet again

They do not grow old
Make up does not weary them
The school girls on tour
Thirty years later
Like it was yesterday
Hear the playground screams
They never dressed like that though
Heels and seams
Wine flows like fizzy drinks
In the curry comes
The laughter now raucus
Inhibitions gone
The food is gone the wine as well
Lets go to a bar
Tie one there as well
Lipstick gets smeared
Speech gets obtuse
The laughter is louder
The women are lose!
Joking and messing like kids at heart
Tomorrow the headache
Will be just the start!!

Fire in her eyes love in her thighs as the cougar seeks her quarry
His clothes to be ripped his face to be kissed his body to devour
A younger flesh to be her next to feast and writhe upon
Oh she's complete with heels on her feet and nylons just for him
Oh why oh why did she not meet the focus of all her desire
Well you where in college while he was in shorts with a soother shoved in his mush
But now he's a man with a mind of his own and a mission to seek what he wants
Others may weep as they slip between sheets but love has no age size or creed
So mark my words well we're all off to hell and I hope with the person we love
As old as we get or as much as we try you can only be who you are
So sleep with the love whomever they are and wake in their warm embrace
For life is to short to tary with age and miss the one made for you.
I know as I missed and no longer resist and hope that you do too

You look at an old house
She sees a haunted house
You look at a card board box
She sees a house
You look at a the old fort
She sees a princesses castle
You look in the mirror and see old
She looks at you and sees daddy
We had those eyes once
The boundless imagination
Everything was an adventure
Nothing was impossible
Try looking with them again

Five a day!
I'm fed up to the back teeth
Adverts all the time
Five a day veg or fruit
Remember it is good for you
Well keeps the body health
But what of your mind
Well my five a day is for the mind
Smile at a stranger it could make their day
Cuddle your children they grow that way
Love your partner then tell them so
Hug your lover morning and night
Remember you're no better than anyone else
Do all five with your fruit and veg
Your life will mean more to you each day

A weekend of extremes, where a lover became a demon
A car became a transformer and a lifeboat
A child made a new friend, a friend found a new voice
Two fathers took comfort knowing their daughter's safe
A new begining  for one woman yet an adventure for a little girl
Now a bath a cup of Earl grey tea and Edward Elgars chello plays on the radio
It had no plan no agenda yet I feel strangely satisfied
Some people can do that to you
And yet it's only 7 pm so 5 hrs to go
And lest we forget the apple crumble!!!

Why are you naked and stood in the road.

I am protesting for others who are enslaved in the east.
They work in sweatshops and are tortured for greed.
Making shirts for shops to sell to you
Cheaper and cheaper your hands has their blood.

Come inside get cleaned up you're filthy too please oh please let me help you.

I can't because oil companies exploited a tribe and poisoned their water and all of them died.
So your heating is shamefull and your water is theft.
Take off your clothes and join me instead.


Well lets get some food and at least check you out, that cough sounds bad and the sores can be dressed.
You can't fight their cause if you're starving to death.

You food is the product of toture and greed
The beasts are in cages and slaughtered in fear
Your crops are GM and killing the earth, become a vegan you know it makes sense.

So all that I have and all that I do is offensive to you?
You're a product of that, with your middle class dad who worked to his death so bills could be paid
He paid through the **** and then with his life for your schooling and dance and all you now hate.
You judge me and others as state sponsored **** while you pioisly lecture then sit smoking dope.

That cough that sounds bad will your mum come soon?
Take you to swiftly to the emergency room, private of course and step daddy pays! You're just rebelling and finding your way.
Then Dr will treat you with a little jab. Tested on monkeys in someones lab
He was at the same Uni and you drank with him, he used his degree and did good with it.
We have evolved, be it good or bad
We've made mistakes and some so bad
But fight from within and make that your goal because hugging a tree will just get you cold
Now go find a cause and work for its good
Because you're an embarrassment to all of us!

Bed head hits pillow
eyes close
its great
sleep is here

Na na ma na na na na

Sodding neighbours car alarm!

I could weep

All he wanted was someone to bounce up and down on him like they were trying to get the air out of an inflatable mattress with a sticking valve!
All she wanted was someone to bang her like a broken screen door in a hurricane.
Yet neither knew of the others needs.

He always feared he would be never enough
If he lay beside her in fear of love

Always believing one day she would have gone
Into the arms of another who offered her more

All that he thought and all that was there
were nothing but dreams of a life with her

Entangled lives with tremulous pasts interlaced in a web of lust

But lust is fleeting and isn't love
And dreams were all it ever was

Never trust a Tory
Every one of thems a ****!
Feeding from the working classes
Like vampires at a bloodbank.

Never trust a Tory
They're all the bleeding same
Theiving from the poorest
To fund their second homes.

Never trust a Tory
They steal from everyone
Theft by tax evasion
Self assessed to earn **** all

Never tust a Tory
I dated one once you know
I was her bit of rough
To make her feel benevolent
I showered for a month

When you see a soul hurt or tortured, in pain
Do you walk past?
Stop?
Or run away
You probably can't help them
You won't understand why
Just being there to listen
Can save a life
No judging,  no lecture,  no telling you so
Just hold them and listen
Till the fear starts to go
Fear of living or dying
Loving or loss
A body to hold them till the pain has passed
Now look at them closely for all you will see
Is a reflection of all that you'll ever be
The new Samaritan is me
It is also in you
In a world full of pain
Only love can break through

I never set out on any one road thinking it would be the way.
The truth is I had no idea where I was going.
Sometimes I took turns to avoid myself.
I guess we have all done that.
But as I get to the end of the road I am on, the last few months ahead for once have no direction. As though I am simply now a passenger on a driver less bus.
I know the destination. Inevitable as it seems to me now, it was never supposed to be so soon. Suddenly you look back and realise wow! Where did the time go? Now you're here alone, thoughtful.
The people you shared the journey with now on different paths or no longer travellers.
Some you asked to walk other paths, some elected too.
People are full of advice, ideas, "Do this" or "Try that" but at the end of the road I guess you hope for the best new route.
It used to be about the journey.
Now...
New horizons.

Inside the child was waiting
She just needed a few drinks more
Wave goodbye to inhibition and find the dance floor
A few more and shes ready, the table yeah its next
Dancing like Coyote uglys, the tables now a stage
Not to be out done her friends are dancing to
Its party time in Oxton, the girls have had a few
Her legs look rather splendid kicking in the air
Thank heaven she remembered to wear her underwear!!

It was so cold there nothing could live
It hasn't always been that way
Before, there had been long summers that never seemed to end. Nights when all around danced and sang until they were played out and watched the sun rise
The sound of laughter filled the air and love was in over abundance.
That was then, before.
Now the seasons have no definition. No spring comes, no bird song. No buds promise the beauty of a flower. Just night.
Cold dark apocalyptic night.
For when they left, the seasons left with them.
The sun never rose
Night and darkness was all that remained in
Aleppo
For love had gone

I am falling faster than I can measure as the darkness all but consumes me.
I no longer see any light in the loves that held me here.
I only see solace in goodbye.
I awake falling with no grasp of the day, no will to move forward, no purpose.
I think I am done with this fight and simply wish to shed this body.
I know not what tipped my balance, nor when.
I have no wish to talk or discuss solutions or remedy to this darkness.
I simply want to be free from it.
Free, just free from the torture of each wasted day with all its pain and sycophantic malaise.
Had I the substance to go.

Lulaby to nowhere
A lament to none
Words at night spoken in your head
The ears supposed to hear them
Never in your bed
The passing moods of fancy
A whimsical delight
Head full of moving pictures
That haunt you in the night
So lulaby my brain cells
Hush and go to sleep
You have scrambled all reality
So just leave me be

I came to write
Exploding with words
Then couldn't form a coherent line
None of the things in my head stopped spinning
So I'm leaving now
I'll be back soon
To write

Spash after splash the shells bombarded the waves as the metal hulk ploughed its path through the sea.
All standing as men but mostly boys.
To the left explosions a platoon now lost, not far to go the beach was in sight.
A thud and a shudder as the bow hits the shore.
The door drops forward in a hail of lead.
Front ranks fall slain were they stood.
Lieutenant shouts forward as his head comes off.
Running and crawling sand in their eyes, climbing over their brothers now dead.
Whistles blowing and explosions all around.
They climb in the crater the last one formed.
"Get off the beach" was all that was heard.
But get to where?
As the bullets hailed.

So desolate, I walked onward
An expanse of sand running mile after mile
In the distance the sound of thunder
Then as if a mirage at sea a village of ramshackle homes
Single story on a sandbank all with gardens of the strangest design
A flea farm,  gooseberry bushes and butterflies in net cages
Children playing, the voices of grandparents
The sea now lapping at my heels and between their twisted porches, where on earth could I be
In reality?
For I no longer walked the earth
The thunder was the howitzers shelling the beach
The vilage, that of my childhood
For my mind in its last throws had given me a thought of memory,  that of childhood and family that of loving not war
The sea and sand being of beauty
Now limbless, face down on a Normandy beach drowning.
Then darkness
Silence
Peace

Breeze blown leaves and the suns dying rays
Shadows become darkness at the fadeing of the day
Eyes become heavy and limbs like lead
Our ancestors protect us as we take to our bed
Summer ends as winter begins
Rituals practiced across the world
Prepare now for winter
Prepare for snow
Look towards spring
When new buds will grow

There is no limit to ineptitude
No line for a fool to cross
No border no guards
Just their ability to be crass
An ability to hurt without knowledge
To destroy with no purpose
They know not of love
Only greed, avarice!
Wise men no longer lead !
Just fools with a hint of reason
But no worth
Hear me now, take heed
Tomorrow is yours and mine, not theirs
Do not let them steal it from your children
The future is unwritten
Don't let them erase your dreams

Night falls and sent with it the angst of insomnia.
Worn out yet awake, weary yet unable to dream.
How cruel the mind is in its games.
Games the mind plays.
Images in fantasy of a woman not here and yet imagined.
Not kissed or held this night but possessing the thoughts of a man
The mind in turmoil from one task to another none finished all awash and all agitated
Morn arrives as sleep hastens, life is upside down in so many ways

The rain now ends the day, washing its benality away
Sunlight never made it through cloud, only it's traces
Overcast sky prevailed today
As though the sun was refusing to come out, in protest
Between elation and desperate measures the minutes passed
Slowly as if held back this morning, an eternity
Then racing as though unable to find their feet this afternoon
Tonight I shall shut out the world and simply ponder
Examine what remains and foundations
  The dawn can wait a few hrs

A wardrobe full of dress she had bought on the web.
Never worn for anyone but herself.
A draw full of photos clippings of James Bond wannabes she would always say she loved them but never had chance to meet.
She knows every detail of every ****** position.
But never tried any because that involved people.
Her own little world where she hid herself away.
Where no one was cruel or could ruin her day.
In a world she created as she didn't fit in.
The girl you would love but you never met.