There is a place inside,
Deep
Hidden.
You won't see it on xray or scan
It has no Latin name
It has no mass or form
It has a name

Loneliness

I prayed and prayed to the god above
Not to take the one I love
Fix all the things that were all so wrong
Make them good and whole and strong
Show me where I didn't give
Help me find the strength to live
Without a heart, without a will
No answer from the god I get
Descending deeper into hell
You ask me why I no longer pray
Heavens closed gods gone away

Layer upon layer upon layer
Oh but the thinest of veneers
Each one a story, a painting
Covering the entire subject
Each allowing sight of what came before
But not clear
Each new layer distorts the one before
Yet they become homogenized
Merging to form the whole yet some features,
Not all more evident remain
And with it's flaws our shell is formed
A memory of our pasts
An armour with kinks
The shell of a man

Look in front of you at the waves
Imagine this
Every molecule of water you see
Yes every one has always been here
Be there one or many
Always there
Cast a message in a bottle it will float
Make a wish for another on a droplet
One day it will fall as rain on another continent
Or fall as a tear
For it is eternal like the sun

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul
Yet so many seem to be broken windows
Or shuttered so that no viewers gaze can see
If they are indeed the fabled windows
I fear many need cleaning

In solitude my thoughts bait me
Like a pack of dogs with no reason
Thought after thought
No order
No sense
No purpose
Just the restless mind playing games
Scenarios like the minds eye is a stage
Playing the day back
Past situations
Alternative outcomes
A reality based on make believe
A waking dream if you will
A counterpoint to the nightmare life can be
So is it really solitude
No not with the thoughts
The thoughts of the black dog.

*** is dangerous!
It can bring out all manner or unfelt emotions
Drive the stolid sane of the species to acts of moral abandonment
Bereft of any sanity
There you have it
No need to thank me
Free info

We die a little a little each day, as do we all.
As those that would do us harm labour in their quest to hurt.
Absorbed in greed and hatred and it's vices
Daily they cut more, deeper each time
Until one day there is nothing more to cut.
No longer a victim to prey upon
For the victim chose to exit this world
Sought solitude and peace in another
Simply gone.

Always more
Always more
Always more and more and more
Until you have nothing left to give
Then like packaging
Discarded

Hold your child as though they are the world

Be humbled by their actions

Amazed by their innocence

Proud of their endeavours.

Yet let them spread their wings

There is nothing they won't succeed in.

Trying to hold onto a moment.
Its like holding a firecracker.
Fabulous in all its parts, but gone in a flash.
Trying to live a dream is like lying asleep all day.
Believing things will just go away,
Only Invites them to stay.
Often not knowing what to do.
Or why where or when
Its the fundamental torture that haunts us every day.
Is the grass greener ? Or just another lawn.
You still end up mowing it, if you move across..
So look at what you have!  Look at all it's good.
Talk and try to reason, so your not misunderstood.
I don't have your answers, to your problems or you woes
I've enough to keep me going, just with my own.
So go and find your self and look everywhere
As when you find the perfect you, no one else will care.

I knows youse ! Don't I?

These words uttered I and my compatriate, like lemings, pray to the same god.
Yet only for a split second, as neither of us worship nor believe!
But given the gravity of her demeanor and onslaught of intoxicated infection, sorry affection, as she seeks her next quarry, one simply hedges his bets.
Then like rats, we jump ship into the garden and hide like naughty children.
Soon engaged in conversation joined by others.
All in the dark art of avoidance, all looking skyward in hope her mothership is near and will beam her the **** out of our world!
Its like a form of emotional tourettes.
The most timid of female creatures transforms like sister Hyde!
Once the potion, ***** in this case, is ingested it's downhill.
It begins.
The potion destroys the victims speech, balance and morality often manifests in loud outbursts!
I LOVE YOU.
Oh please please make that be just the alcohol and not reality as I know my definition of love although a bit disjointed has no parallel to hers.
I see the fear in his eyes, akin to that of a rabbit in headlights and justify the need for immediate action.
So our team plan an escape!
As cunning as Colditz.
RUN!
But she's at the exit!
I've already checked the yard door and it's bolted. Seems all is lost.
Then with a magical piece of luck someone latches onto her. Oh Jehovah! He's had the same potion.
Were off !!!  
Goodbye said at the speed of a racing snake to the host!
A huried run down the path
Into the car and baby were gone!!

It's like an adventure of Tin Tin.
Did we lose a dog?

Well it must be true it's on Facebook!
So much is said that isn't true
He did that and she flew the coup !
Like this, like that it's all the same
You wont cure cancer or heal a child's pain
Follow a cause or like a page
It's intellectual blackmail in a cyber age
So how did we get so wrapped up
Zuckerberg has sold us a pup
It's an imaginary world with no taboos
Who's with who and what they do
No truth of any, in most of it
It's a collective pile of bovine ****!

A wave of apathetic lack lustre discontent washes over me
As though my day, my dealings are simply unnecessary
Lost, empty and without purpose
No focus no goal, no rainbows end
Simply existing, not living
Turned out for a reason and walked away
Back to the mundane
Back to being simply here

"Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes"
He said to me as Zulus came across the drift
What if I keep mine closed I said
Pretend there all at home instead

So what if their eyes are red after a late night out
Or Yellow" jaundiced and unwell
All the thoughts went through his head
As the soldier held his gun up high
As screaming warriors began to die

What if the others shot them all?
So I didn't have to get involved
Sgt Major is rather cross as as he's just been shot in the ***
It's all becoming quite absurd
I watched a film and fell asleep
Mad now I'm there in my dreams

Some solace? If there can be just one
I watched Zulu and not "What dreams may come"....

A collection of elements
Mostly harmless
Bonded together in molecules and strings
Making muscles and bones and other things
Mostly water and fresh air
But none the less I'm still here
You may say you know me
You speak of my form
You really don't know me
For I'm only a shell

I sat in my car and watched the faces on the train
Some sad some happy, what were they thinking
Then I paid my toll at the tunnel
How many faces all going places had she seen today
Then I opened my texts from people I know, all with agendas
How much we read and can't take in, all things to all men I just can't be
All at once it came to me, it isn't how my life should be
Forfeit the past for futures promise mad be the man I always wanted.
So today I'm closing doors to many I simply can't be yours
I want my life not a mere shadow of yours
Goodbye folks your on your own
I walk the next path I guess
Alone

What "if" as kipling said we are measured by actions
What if we saw a circumstance and reacted on our past endeavours
What should we react to?
Intuition, the gut feeling?
We react to neither.
We simply react
We have within us a code.
Programmed,
Amended,
Revised.
By experience
No more
No less
That is who we are

What if we all woke up tomorrow a timezone at a time
We found no armies were fighting and laughter filled the day
A Muslim drinking coffee, playing chess with his friend the Jew
Christians praying quietly whilst bhudists chant their tune
Politicians talking, instead of scoring points
Feeding those in hunger without plying for their oil
Monsanto going organic, the GM food all gone
No
So what if one tomorrow that all came to pass
A utopia of selflesness, mankind's left its rotten past
Well no time soon, or in my life are we likely to get there
We wake each day to see what our fellow men have wrecked
So close your eyes really tight, try to see its worth
Of helping not destroying our over mortgaged Earth
I hope I'm not the only one who wants a world of peace
Without the hurt the pain the fear that only MAN creates

Fly in my airspace!
Not a chance
One Europe for all?
Not here in France
It will save fuel and time
NO NO NO
We are control freaks
More cheese or wine?

Some people think they have all the answers
Reality is there didn't understand the question
If there ever indeed was a question
I mean what is right or wrong
Who decides what's good for us what's not
I don't assume to know if your actions are fact or based upon fear
I dont judge yet we all lie in judgement
I don't presume any basis for decision
Yet I shall be disappointed
And that my friends is where society now takes us
Not into loving each other and seeing good
It now steers us into the unforgiving fault finding that drives us apart
That is our legacy
Our reality
Our end
We speak of humanity when we have lost all semblance of it
A future lost in propaganda and self loathing
A 1984 thirty years on
A future more akin to the war torn Europe of the *****

My toes are ugly
Well I think they are
They look so strange
Down there on the floor
As though added on as an after thought
Now imagine if we had none at all
Fetishists would suffer quite a lot
No way to get themselves off
Athletes foot would be a thing of the past
And I'd never be nibbled by dogs or cats
As it is there here to stay
Just ugly toes
Down there
Ok

Numb lied upon to long
Wake up arm it's time to move
******* brain! Oh hark at you
You can't get the legs to get you up too
Jack Daniel's runs through the mortal frame
The livers working flat out again
A good night was had by all
The eyes and ears won't work at all
So another hour or two in bed
To let the hangover go away

Don't over use them or forget their worth
I know it's only three small words
But spoken loud for all to hear
As a train leaves you shed a tear
Spoken softly by your child at night
Fills your body with warmth inside
Slow and cold at the end of the affair
Like hearing a shot ring through the air
Yet said by many as false platitude
Whilst kissing cheeks is over used
What is missed is not the words
For the feeling simply can't be heard
So as I kiss your cheek whilst you gently sleep
Or hold your hand whilst you weep
Or make you smile at a silly joke
Knowing only you have understood
That is love in all its parts
Not just I love you said out loud
If used to much it losses weight
The words are lost and have no place

Can I ask in soft a tone if you ever feel alone?
Feel like no one ever cares
Doesn't notice you are there
Doesn't seem to see your face
Doesn't know you feel their pain
Never knows what you feel
Always makes your heart reel
Then you as I, sleep alone
We wonder what we do that's wrong
Try so hard to make it right
But sleep alone every night.

Is there one thing you would change?
One day
One act
One missed opportunity
Would it make all the difference
Would it change where you are now
Would it change what you have become
Will it make you a better person or simply
What would it make worse...........
Be careful what you wish for

The wrinkles move as you smile
They tell a story of your life and it's trials
I've never seen a crow with feet that big
Your days in the sun are now your treat
Or curled up warm at my feet
You've reached the age were the body won't work
It fails to warn you your going to purge
But what goes on inside that head
I watch your eyes follow the world
Are you still running still chasing cats
When you bark in your sleep and your legs trot
It's all retrospective now as your gone
Both my faithful friends sleep under the ground
Dont know why I thought of you today
Maybe it's time to foster a friend
For dogs should pick you and not you them
For they know best who will look after them

There are no more firebrands
No Blasford Snells
No men of action like Oliver Reed
No Lawrence of Arabia, no Ian Sterling's left
Just rules of engagement and bomb what is left
Its war for profit, not freedom or cause
Politicians misplaced loyalty far abroad
No more the cries for England and st George
We die in the sand for another's cause.

Well you can't polish a ****!
No matter how hard you try
Nor can you hold the clean end
Go ahead if you like
What am I trying to say?
I'm trying to make you see
No matter what you try to do
All you get is me

I have outlived my youth
Tumbled past all the signposts on the way
Completed the mandatory steps
Now only death awaits me
That singular journey to it
No growing grey together
Just a statistic
Sadistic at that

Confirmation of what I thought
Although I breath I'm just like Mort
Walk the earth day after day
A swinging brick keeps my pace
I don't blame others for my decent
I live in Dantes circled hell
I've lost count of which circle I'm in
No longer trying to reason it
The minutes hrs days the weeks
None belong in truth to me
We squeeze as much as we possibly can
Then the clock stops, goodbye my friends
So check and measure those vital signs
Just don't come and ask to ever check mine
Zombies are not the living dead
It's those who live within their heads

My dear Hope … I’m sorry but I don’t want to be an Emperor –that’s not my business – I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another, human beings are like that.

We all want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful.

But we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls – has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed.

We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in: machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little: More than machinery we need humanity; More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me I say “Do not despair”.

The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress: the hate of men will pass and dictators die and the power they took from the people, will return to the people and so long as men die [now] liberty will never perish…

Soldiers – don’t give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you – who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel, who drill you, diet you, treat you as cattle, as cannon fodder.

Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don’t hate – only the unloved hate. Only the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers – don’t fight for slavery, fight for liberty.

In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written ” the kingdom of God is within man ” – not one man, nor a group of men – but in all men – in you, the people.

You the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy let’s use that power – let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age and security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie. They do not fulfil their promise, they never will. Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfil that promise. Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness!

- written by Charlie Chaplin who called this speech his speech for Humanity and he felt this was the most important thing he did with his carreer was this speech.

Islam and Christianity
Politicians debate
Extremists fuel a cause

Well you are all wrong
You sold out your humanity

To be a good person is not in scripture
It isn't in any dogma
Believe that and your lost

It is in our hearts

It's how a parent teaches
What a parent teaches

Teach any child a religion
They have a faith
The majority will follow it

Teach your children bigotry
The majority will follow that too

Teach them to love
Teach them to care
Teach them to aid

Then regardless of their faith
They will teach the same
They will see humanity

Morals are not a faith
But a faith can support morality
As to it can bolster hate

So don't tell me your a Christian
Don't quote Muhammad
I don't care if your agnostic

Just teach your children well
The future is all they have
Don't condemn them to our past
Our mistakes

Act now as time is not on our side
Act now and create a proud nation
A nation of all faiths united in love

Inner space?
Yes I pose the question
What is it?
Is it alone time
Is it loneliness
Is it simply the place we go to think
Or the place we go to hide
Its all our own whatever your answer
Mine Is mine to visit and your not welcome
You may have driven me there
Find your own.

Watching an inappropriate romance
Between two who can never be one
The chats that skirt around reality
The laughter only they know
The passion in words so simple
The fact that neither of them know
All they have in the world
Is the words when they say hello
No one there sees it
Only one thing remains
They fell in love forever
In a bookstore that day

Silence now, No drums
No sounds of marching bands
Only silence
The faint sounds of crying across a proud land

A feeling of national loss, bewilderment
An act that has cut a nation to the quick
The slaying of a valiant heart by cowards
Valiant as his brotthers and sisters in arms

They do what many could not comprehend
Their life in the balance, daily
Yet they fight to protect innocents
They risk all to protect those with nothing
Give everything for the greater good

Mourn our drummer for he is OUR drummer
Remember him as that
Remember him as a man with pride
Passion principle and virtue

A man who gave it all for OUR safety
For our country
For his family
For love of good in this world

Do not be silent
Shout his name from roof tops
Write it down read it out loud
For when a warrior is spoken of
He is remembered

The next time the drums beat it will be in lament
Marching will be heard that day
The feet of man woman child
Christian Muslim bhudist all creeds all faiths

He shall be mourned as a King
Streets lined by his family his people
The British people in their thousands
Defiant resolute and thankful

Drummer Lee Rigby, remember his name
For today we lost a part of My England
Let it not be in vain

They say only the depth varies
**** is **** !
I beg to differ
Thick as glue knee deep, is no more nor less a hold on you than chest deep water
The **** as they call it is life's trials
Some won some lost
Some enduring others endearing
Often never ending
The depth only rising and falling as you cope
Or not
So I ask is it simply just ****?
Take a look at your neighbours and see
Check they haven't gone under!

There is in love a savagery of malapropriation
A seething anger that manifests as a cutting dig
Or passing word to hurt
Thrown out to harm in well placed execution
Often when most vulnerable and justified by misplaced emotion
"You made me"
"You don't understand"
"What dont I understand?"
Well it's neither a lack of communication or love
When an individual feels unlovable by no hand of yours
Often it's a retort to avoid discourse that has no part between you
For the discourse lies elsewhere and not with you

That creak you didn't hear
That was breaking point
I mean why would any of you hear it
You see only a facade not the core
The molten thoughts and emotion
Turmoil like you can't imagine
Yet you all dined and enjoyed the company
You couldn't know could you
I was tiptoe all weekend on the edge
Closer to it than I have been in a long time
Overloaded, all wanting a piece of me
None realising I'm running on empty
Empty other than dark thoughts
Then finally sleep came and solace
But no, for even dreams became nightmare
Screaming skulls and torture I begged for death
Only to wake to ***** shaking in fear
Unhinged and unable to face the day I retreated
Beneath the quilt, a world away for a day
Irony! The world did not notice oh no
The messages, calls none phased at my absence
Save for one. One who always knows when the black dog is afoot.
Seems to know to call
Knows how I don't know

Fire in her eyes love in her thighs as the cougar seeks her quarry
His clothes to be ripped his face to be kissed his body to devour
A younger flesh to be her next to feast and writhe upon
Oh she's complete with heels on her feet and nylons just for him
Oh why oh why did she not meet the focus of all her desire
Well you where in college while he was in shorts with a soother shoved in his mush
But now he's a man with a mind of his own and a mission to seek what he wants
Others may weep as they slip between sheets but love has no age size or creed
So mark my words well we're all off to hell and I hope with the person we love
As old as we get or as much as we try you can only be who you are
So sleep with the love whomever they are and wake in their warm embrace
For life is to short to tary with age and miss the one made for you.
I know as I missed and no longer resist and hope that you do too

Pandora has her box
A place to retreat when she must
A hiding place all her own
To think and be alone

Do you have a similar place?
To hide you from the human race
A race, that's funny, no it really is
You couldn't make up a world like this

A world of total extremes
When one man starves another feasts
We flush enough water to send off our waste
To keep a family alive for days

It's evolution that brought us to here
Revolution will take it away
So hide your head if you must
For when you emerge there will be only dust

Day upon day the madness of living infects our every action
Viral in its encompasment of our souls
If only we could step back
Regroup
Think
Act
Absorb
Then maybe it would mean more
Till then
Madness

Throw a word into a conversation like a grenade
Pin pulled overarm bowled and away it goes
You see the explosive reactions on their faces
Its impact is as detonation
Its entropy now expanding
Some are fired for effect some for pleasure
But you, thIs one is for you
****** !

The silence at the close of day surrounds me
No motion or thought just being
A void of perspective and matter
A place we hither to hide from
But it's always there

Deep within are the chared remnants of a once burning emotion
Almost elemental in structure
The flames that burned as bright as a star's corona halo
Yet faded in despair to dark emotionless remains
For many that light will burn as bright as a thousand suns
And burn for their eternity
For others all that is left are the ashes of a love
Now gone, a past
Yet understand emotions are not static
For they wax and wain as the day does
They transform as ice melts or steam rises
Fear anger love hate jealousy are but facets all of the same
Only time and place shows their current state
What is cold to you is the warmth another feels
So don't judge a love of things by your understanding
Simply understand yourself

Know what a kettle feels like inside as it boils?
I thought not
Know what it feels like to be wrapped in cling film?
No
Know what it feels like to be buried alive yet walking around?
I mean who could
Know what it feels like to want to just disappear?
She does
She knows
It's her everyday
You call it odd
Dr calls it bi polar
She calls it hell

Wide awake at 5 am, I lye here again
Should I be in another's bed or they be here with me instead
Awake to soon before the sun, only birds sing their song
Turn over now and try to sleep before the day for me begins

Pulse in the neck feel my headache pound
Tightness in the chest, anxiety abounds
Day upon day the harder it gets
Cant make it stop as the pressures intense
Not sure now how much more it can take
Before the heart stops and I leave this place
But none of you see it as I die each day
You see a facade as it's eating away
The strongest you see you have no idea
That a trip to the shops is my greatest fear

Run faster than you can and you may stumble
Run slower and you may not catch up
Stop dead, open your eyes
You will not have to run

Go on big boy take a bite
You'll love the taste its full and ripe
If you take a bite I'll be nice to you
You know that thing my mouth can do
I know god said to never touch
You know you like my mouth SO much
Bite it now I'll be your *****
You'll love the way I make you twitch
So Adam bites the juicy apple
The fans now on the ***** to follow
Gods ****** of you thieving ***
You listened to the snake with **** !
A rib I used to get her here
I think I'd rather you stayed as queer
You can't trust a word she hisses out
I'm off alone to knock one out!