Drains
Fountains
Puddles

What if one day you realise you have felt every emotion you think you can ever feel?
High low
Love loss
Pain fear
Joy sorrow
Then
Emptiness
When that day comes
What next?

Never assume
You may be unhappy in your relationship.
It doesn't mean others are in theirs.
Don't sow the seed of doubt in another's garden.
How others choose to love and live may not be the same as you.
They have no less a right to live and love than you so long as no one is hurt.

Oh no son
You can't go
They don't want
You there.

Now I've been around and here and there.
I've seen faces that fit and watched others stare.
Cos when you're not on the A list
They
Don't want you
There

I want you back she said.
I've made a mistake
It was a silly phase
Something I needed to do

I want you back and the way you kiss
The way you hold
The way you open doors
The way you hold my hand and stroke my hair
All the things I miss
But you had all that and then chose him
So why would you come back
The adventure done?
Had your fling and a thousand promises.
Your back because you aren't what they wanted no matter how you tried.
Your back to the comfort zone.
Back to tell more lies

There was a time when I could fall in love like the breeze teases the trees.
Simple, uncomplicated, fresh free.
But no more.
As I've aged it's as though it has drained from me.
Slowly at first, then with an urgency.
Like blood being drawn by a parasite.
Till one day you realise the emotional exsanguination is complete.
You are bereft, drained, empty.
Loveless.
A day comes where no matter how you try to start a fire.
The is no longer a spark.
Nothing.
You can no longer bear yourself enough to stay with another.
For it would indeed be like feeding on their very soul.
You are laid bare inside and out.
And so
You hide
Away
Directionless.

The journey of the lost.

When I was a child I had questions.
Why aren't dogs blue when the sky is?
Why don't they live long?
Why do we die?
Why do we have to go to school?
Why does it snow?
Why does it rain?
Why do we go to church?
Who is God?
Why do we pray to him, where is he?

As I grew many were answered. Grown ups knew best. The answers often not to my satisfaction but that's life you're told.

At 50 I have other questions.
Why do we ****?
Why do we starve?
Why do we hate?
Why do we bomb?
What makes one God better than another?
Why is your God worth killing for?

Now l am a grown up and I have the answers and I don't like them. Because now the grown ups are acting like children.

Why do they have no reason?
Why don't they seek peace?
Why must they keep killing?
Why am I the same species?
Because I really don't want to be part of this anymore.
There is a plague upon mankind it's symptoms are greed, hate, narcissism, mania, egotistical tunnel vision, delusion.
We fought wars to stop tyrants, now we vote them into power. We signed arms embargoes. Now we sign for more nukes.
We can't look after our homeless, our disabled, our sick, and we preach to others from our high ground. Yeah.. Both feet in quicksand and sinking.  May our children be around long enough to forgive us. May they ask those very same questions. May they find better answers than we seem to have.