Some dads hide and are never there.
Others try to make it work.
Some are blocked and lied about.
Others never gave a ****.
Some are just an ATM to pay without a thankful word.
For some that all becomes to much and then they shed this mortal coil.

I seldom comment when asked of love and what it means to one or another and how perceptions change. Yet, I find myself after the events of the day, and the savage treatment of another to put my thoughts forward.
  Do people change and we or they don't exist or do we discover things that change us. We have an amazing image in our heads of what we want in a partner. Now that may sound shallow but we do. The older we get the more the image changes. Red flags cause that to change on certain behaviours, lies, traits. It is our self defence mechanisms. So inevitably the less we will compromise. Why? Because we changed too. How we were treated changes what we will no longer accept. Our core image of that ideal person changes too. So when you do meet someone it's initally based upon looks then personality, then interactions. If you get one red flag you may compromise. But more and you look for the exit. When young love is blind. It's also deaf dumb and stupid. With age we get wisdom. Out there, there are millions of us. All trying to find something. Some a start. Some an upgrade. Some an end. But in all of that you can only be yourself or it will **** you inside.  Never live a lie to keep someone elses dream alive.
Maybe I should shut up now. Good luck x

We meet people with our emotions locked away.
Over time letting them out one by one as we let people closer. Then eventually if we feel it's right we give people the keys to our hearts.
We expect them to hold that key like a precious jewel.
Some however just add it to a key ring loaded with other keys to other things.
Forgetting until it's too late what that key was for.
The day they remember, often the lock has been changed.

A Happy fathers day to all the dads who gave their all and didn't even get a call.
To the ones that worked and paid for them even if they were never seen.
To the ones that simply faded away because of the caustic games their exes played.

It dawned on me today how half of my life had slipped away, on auto fill as the web shapes and takes, as we lose more of our self to an ever growing internet.
To the who's who of no one true, that you will never meet or kiss their cheek, or share a drink at a late night bar, but share an argument from afar...
Keyboard flares sent across the net to someone you have never met, who's hiding behind a Qwerty shield and to them that screen is very real!
Or the stars that shine so bright on the browser that's just full of *****.
When shites tupence an ounce and they're worth sweet FA..
But you had to know what they ate today.
Not worth ***** and it's valued more yet they seem like royalty to the poor
So when it dawned on me earlier today that half my life had passed away..
I held a moments silence then, for the passing off the world that's real and those around us in the flesh..
Because it isn't real it's all a place made of one's and zeros to Infinity that will outlive you and me..
So before the rest of life flies by, unplug your mind from the digital hub.
Put the tablet in the drawer and leave the phone till you make a call.
Then call someone that you miss, and tell them that you love them still.
Tell them of your thoughts today and not what you were fed by the internet...
It dawned on me today, tomorrow will soon be yesterday so make the most of the here and now, when it's gone it's not backed up on a card or drive to bring back up when you desire.
Just in memories, that's all, that's it.
Not this internet of ****.

Buds pushing up and the dew of night still hanging from them as each morning they show some more of their beauty. The grass now growing again after it's winter sleep. Mornings brighter and bird song at 4am. Wet shoes as we walk through the field as the night still clings to each blade of grass. The moss now dying on the pourous headstones and staining the rock beneath.

Warm sun and a lush canopy of every green, eyes squinting through sunrise, the smell of fresh cut lawns and the smell of barbeque coals soaked in juices drifting from the gardens nearby. Late evenings and children playing till the street lights glow. The sound of foxes barking as I try to sleep. Out gathering and walking the paths I walked.

Dried leaves crushed underfoot, announcing the change of season as the nights come sooner and the sun loses it's heat. They are the days I will remember most of our autumn. As a temporary death comes to the place of death. The umbrella of multicoloured beauty falls in the breeze and blown to dance like spirits. The last flowers dried and decaying, Rain becomes colder the foxes no longer bark.

The leaves now gone, trees naked and cold. Redundant nests tossed in the wind and decay all around above and beneath the ground. Only the sparce laurels and holly show any green. The grass covered in a thin layer of white muddied by feet passing through. Not as idyllic as a Christmas card or calender. But this is my place. Where my best friend sleeps. The daily walk with my dog. My solace. Often my only peace, my only escape. Now, I share it with you.

Reminds me of this..

Oh they have always been there.
Watching in the shadows, waiting.
Playing the long game.
At the supermarket, just out of sight in the next isle.
Two seats back on the bus, not too close.. But near enough.
Like a shadow in the shadows.
That stranger you see when you close the curtains..
Just waiting...
Till you invite them in.