We suffer at the hands of the illogical mind
as intrusive thoughts steal time
creating the illusion that we are not
when what we are is the perfection
of everything we so desperately sought

The vanity of human desire runs deep
the price of greed and envy are steep
bliss, love and joy are unattainable
unless we trust in our hearts’ wisdom
this human condition is inescapable

It is an anchor thickened with age
tiny fractures induced by love
do not lance its hardened core
scaled with the red rust of rage
it ensures I am uncared for

Infrangible are these chains
that have rendered me confined
interlocking coils I can’t seem to break
have inflicted immeasurable pain
and a lifetime of heartache

There are moments I believe I can soar
blinded by realistic illusions
I expand my wings and take flight
shocked disbelief as I crash once more
I lack sacred truth and simple insights

Do I give in and embody the tethers,
surrender to my self limitations and
buy the lies of this mortal mind?
Or stitch my brave heart back together
forever detached from the ties that bind?

I am a secondary character
in your story of Life
you only give me purpose
through what you decide

You define what I am
by how you perceive
but the truth is
you don’t know me

Knowledge gives reasons
for what you believe
even though it’s all lies
you continue to agree

It’s not fair to judge
by what you think you see
logic disconnects our nature
reducing us to domestic debris

Yes I am a secondary character
living my own dream
but I know purpose through feeling
so you can never define me

You are a secondary character
in someone else’s dream
so don’t be defined by their judgments
and you will set yourself free

She sits with misery, emptiness by her side
heavy waves of noisy despair
rush in and out of her mind
like the discordant crush of evening tides

Love waits patiently not far behind
for the perfect moment
to tickle her tepid heart in a
secret chamber where Hope resides

The first light of dawn glitters in eyes
time to heal won’t stand still
so Love’s spark ignites the wick of Hope
setting fire to her desires inside

The truth rejects every lie
as she gives birth to inner wisdom
there’s no room for despair
so misery takes emptiness outside

She sits with joy, compassion by her side
light waves of quiet peace
flow through her hopeful heart
like the rhythmic perfection of morning tides

Love exists from earth to sky
every moment is perfect
while the wick of Hope burns
so does her desire to shine

She rests in grainy white sand
the sun glistening on her winter skin
warm waves caress bare legs
her breathe in rhythmic perfection
as the ocean’s harmonies
greet the silence of land

Her eyes match the bluest of skies
she gazes into its blissful abyss
welcoming the sanctuary
of ancient and timeless wisdom
as peripheral vision fades away
so do lifetimes of dead lies

Gratitude adorns the soles of her feet
and she rises from lifetimes of pain
each step away from the past
invites a deeper sense of ease
as she walks into the present
love is what she does to feel complete

Grasping fingertips
clutch stagnant air
I am desperately searching
while you remain everywhere

You will never see your reflection in a muddy puddle

She rests in grainy white sand
the sun glistening on her winter skin
warm waves caress her legs
her breathe in rhythmic perfection
as the ocean’s harmonies
greet the silence of land

And you think I would take advice
from a man discovered by his son
choking his wife on the kitchen floor
of their marital home
How doth this man become?

Was it the *****, your insecurity
or the entitlement of hierarchy
feeding the need for power and control?
Regardless, you abuse my mother
and I see the darkness within your soul

With your judgment and your greed
you cast your broken stones
into the heart of my sacred home
in hopes of cracking our foundation
and taking what’s not yours to own

But I will not respond in kind
I prefer to greet your madness
with silence and a forgiving heart
because the depth of love between us
you will never tear apart

We are as unconditionally loved as much as the one loving us has the capacity to unconditionally love themselves

The soulful sounds
of a rhythmic heart
expanding its resonance
without judgment,
without fearing rejection
without earthly limitations,
embodies the infinite essence
of Life itself

The embodiment of truth
and the unequivocal acceptance
of the sacredness
and divine essence of Love
reside within the intangible
purity of the heart’s
secret chamber of
wisdom

I rush deep into the valley
through this tidal wave of pain
in search of its core
desperate to end its reign

I find what remains
a half rotten apple writhing feverishly
as deathless maggots infest
it’s spiritual domain

Our intentions may be well
tender and sweet
but we are never immune
to the destruction of fears deceit

Permit the mind to run amok
and Knowledge will consume you
If you host this intrusive parasite
it will gorge on your toxic residue

Governed by laws
controlling the mind
we believe in our story
not seeing
The lies

The seers wait with loving regard
for awareness to awaken
the spirit of our hearts
for our souls to fly free
as Knowledge
departs

Our windows open
with a cautious approach
and we gaze in awe
as reflections of light
expose the brilliance of  
Truth;

We.
are.
Life.

From this moment on
we feel
consciousness take form
and we create in our authenticity
of Joy
Peace and
Love

Welcome home.

There is no distance between space
and this truth stands still with Time
so I sway to the rhythmic pulses
trusting I am universally aligned

In this land of dreams so sweet
I walk through cobble stone streets
inhaling the delicate notes; your song
as it’s texture unequivocally fills me

Her ripples ebb and flow
as I wade through crystal streams
the composition of my heart’s desires
reflect the chorus of this dream

I trust the affinity of these chords
to conduct this unfinished symphony
Perfecting the melody of its notes
she orchestrates it’s love effortlessly

It is, as it was before it began

Be the gentle ripples
guiding the tidal waves
of change

Her love soaks me
like a tepid rain
on a sensual summers day
saturated
in all its glorious designs
I bathe in her riches
unequivocally
existing in the milky mist
of her shoreline

I captured the moonlight
in tiny incandescent jars
and watched it reflect for hours
glaring fiercely to reach the stars

I plucked The Hunter
straight out of the night sky
and watched his belt dimming
unfit to pursue Pleiades, he cried

I charmed the love out of Venus
desperate to call it my own
and witnessed her beauty diminish
while my vanity cast its stones

I harnessed the light of the Sun
selfishly hoarding the ultimate power
and witnessed my own life force
become increasingly dimmer

It is causeless to ransack
or squander gifts of wholeness
allowing our fear of insufficiency
to steal what we already possess

So bask with stars in moonlights’ glitter
Honour Orion’s strength as your own
Unbind the sun’s rays to kindle your spirit
Return Venus’ love and never feel alone

We forget, lured into the confines
of this human condition
Lost in the dream
unable to listen

While the subtle truths
beckon softly to our soul
amnesia disconnects us
from making our way home

Blinded by separation
we lead with the mind
Intelligence may be ****
but won’t unravel the ties that bind

There’s a captivating truth
unlock its door, we hold the key
Composed within our hearts
patiently waiting to set us free

This is my song
and its measure is profound
every pulse of my rhythm
expands the sweet melody of sound

You can see it in my steps
and feel it in my stride
but the truth of my song
lies deeply in my eyes

For I am one note
of a universal tune
A passageway to a chorus
where no one is immune

This impassioned piece
will speak to your soul
for the key to my essence
is the same as your own

It is the richness of love
within the chords of harmony
that perfect the rhythm
of our infinite symphony

We tread within the depths
of a tumultuous sea
Sometimes against the current
fully aware we cannot see

Each wave tediously drains our spirit
but know the tide will soon retreat
where the vastness of abundance
will ground our weary feet

It isn’t churning within an ocean
where our purpose has meaning
It is reflective contemplation
when our wisdom takes the lead

Forever adrift in uncharted waters
not meant to be confined
attuning to the circle of life
we transform soul, body, mind

I have lived
life
perceiving
I am
the measly
leftovers
unworthy and stale
soiling
a perfectly good plate
rejected with disdain
and disgust
                        Until I had the courage
                        to dine alone
Now I gleam
at the absurdity
and the filthy
rotten
Domestic waste
they so intrinsically
continue to fabricate
for themselves
as I feast on the
nourishment
of my
authenticity

I have bathed in muddy waters
run by my family of origin
soaked inside the toxins
let them seep into my skin

One two three they target me
holding my head under water
mocking me when I couldn’t breathe
Obey her orders; punish the daughter

Still I rose up
choking on their cruelties
convincing myself to do better
I learned, to be loved I must please

So I moulded into pliable pieces
of acceptability
and lost my soul to the
hierarchy of family

Consumed by imitation
I wandered alone aimlessly
chained to their beliefs
indoctrinated never to break free

But every spirit has wings
we are all meant to fly
I felt the urgency of a greater calling
not understanding why

So I drained their muddy waters
and soaked inside my restless soul
where the truth of my existence
never surrendered to their control

I stand before you
Naked
stripped of everything
you have ever said,
done,
thought,
of me
Your ugly words
harsh judgements
devastating critiques
misdirected Anger
lingering sadness
those bitter tears
of undeniable
disappointment
Idle.
A ***** drift
of soot
bury my feet
So I weep
I weep for you
for me
for Us
and for the world of endless
Sufferers................................................­......
and watch in awe
as the raging river
washes away
Our past
Present
our future
Gone
by dawn,
Love.
A flood - your life
Faded away
My life
Sharply focused
I stand before you
Seeing myself
For the very first
Time
stood still
basking naked
in the vastness
of my Truth
When
through the whispering
winds
prolonged echoes                  D
of Freedom                         E
christened me               R
and                           A          
I                           O
                        S

Will you ever cease
to permeate my words
and stain my pages
with your bloodline?

Time after time I consume the cure
still your pathogens infest my clarity
sulphuric droplets of your despise
sadistically corrode my freedom

Will I ever finish
self serving the Victim?
Unresistingly obedient as I gorge
on your indiscretions

Removing your strands seems futile
long after separation
I remain unwillingly infected
soaking in the poverty of your love

Lately I imagine
I am a tree
Perfect
in my imperfections
Mother Earth
cradle my roots
as I bask in the glory
of the faithful sun
Her rays satiate my leaves
permeating my being
with resounding hopefulness
I surrender.
nurtured
Utterly Loved
as and by nature’s nourishments
I am.

I pretend to feel skinny and pretty
but I know I’m not beautiful or thin
I bleach my hair to cover up the grey
most days I feel fake in all ways

I wear clothes that hide my appeal
want I really want is to be real
I pretend to be an artist and a poet
but my work speaks for itself I know it

I struggle to speak my truth
stolen from me in my youth
Given up my right for basic needs
deeply rooted are her toxic seeds

This facade she created
is someone I have always hated
I’ve spent years peeling back layers
desperate to reveal my true nature

I lost decades cutting her away
razors turned dull the pain didn’t fade
Punishing myself needed to end
in order to survive I cannot pretend

I’m on a journey to uncover
the girl I protected from my mother
Despite her powerful instincts to hide
the woman inside is dying to be alive

I devoured it
every last morsel
your beliefs and concepts
the distorted images and judgements
you baked, I ate
knowing they were the only meals
I would ever get from you
I gorged on your infection

Years would pass
before my stomach began to churn
poisoned by your scanty rations
the thought of another mouthful
was more than I could bear
You tried spoon feeding me
But I choked on every toxic ingredient
you blended into my existence

Not so long ago I found someone
who knew exactly what I was craving
she dishes out compassion
bowls full of the sweetest of truths
I consumed platefuls of her love
until I satiated my starving soul
and devoured every last morsel
as she taught me to nourish myself

Today I tend my fruitful oasis
planting bountiful seeds of intention
appetizers of love I serve myself
with impeccable kindness
followed by self-respect; a favourite ingredient in all my main courses
and the toppings on my dessert
generous sprinkles of serenity and awe

It is not merely the loss of love
but the depth in which it
penetrates the unsuspecting heart
that bleeds the deepest of sorrows

Her easterly side
lies barren and marred
A persistent reminder
of deeply wounding scars

I feel her conviction
to never let herself grow
attesting to the impact
that a love lost bestows

To those who don’t know her
she appears vibrant and pristine
Hidden within layering branches
the pain of separation unseen

But I know her sorrow
we are connected through pain
The evergreen and this woman
wear the residue of love’s stain

I want to cascade over the edge
a deep dive into the abyss
shed every mask of false identity
unapologetically formless

I want to re-emerge entirely
naked, nameless, unknown
sole heiress of my light
divinely nurtured never alone

I will bathe in all my colors
become the bristles of my brush
each stroke unto the canvas
unveils a spirit that won’t be crushed

Energetically I know how you feel
My gift is not confined by space and time
Psychic abilities come with the territory
Always put needs of others ahead of my own
Time with nature is time at home
Highly sensitive is an asset not a weakness
Sense the world deeply suffer immensely

There is infinite peace
in the blackness of morn
Contemplating myself in solitude
waiting for light to explode the dawn

My hopeful heart yearning
for the inspiration of today
to spill into my bones
keeping the mundane at bay

Light illuminates the shadows
and the dullness of these four walls
Temporal boundaries crush my wings
and once again my spirit falls

Out of the celestial blue sky
plunging into the blackest of seas
With desperation I scream
but there’s no one to rescue me

The subtle cruelties of this world
are not for the faint of heart
Protect yourself at all cost
for it will casually rip you apart

Release me into the bluest of skies
and rejoice as my soul takes flight
Do not grieve our separation
We are all merely a dusting of creation

Echoes of rejection skip the beats of my heart
Negative thoughts attach to my reasoning
like swarms of unrelenting gnats
as I drown in the swell of unworthiness

I am blinded by severe self judgement
Covered in the monotony of shame
I cower on feeble hands and skinned knees
trapped in my own prison of nauseating filth

I succumb to the assumptions of your silence
weighed down by bricks of uncertainty
My breathing ever so shallow
as I choke on the asphyxiation of despair

Longing for the communion of acceptance
but unwilling to beg for your approval
I suffer in the abyss of formless chaos
Projecting desperation onto a mirror with no reflection

I see you and your desire for belonging
The failed attempts to fit in to ease the longing
Draining your energy in tribe after superficial tribe
knowing the beating of your heart has no rhythm with their vibe

Expressing your sorrow through written words
Never quite easing your pain, to think so was absurd
Crying into your pillow until the wee hours of the morn
Wondering to God why the hell you were born!

Need for acceptance the pain of rejection consuming your days
Lowering your standards in so many ways
Reaching outward in desperation to feed your soul
Blind to the notion of what it means to be whole

You were raised with the needs of others first
Not knowing the impact to you would be the worst
You have a voice and tremendous wisdom within
Because you were oppressed, to speak is a sin

The internal struggle to belong is real
Believe me, I know exactly how you feel
Don’t ever give up or let your dreams shatter
Please know from my heart, I see you, you matter

When the cold winds blow
when summer leaves die and fall
I am reminded how much I miss you
and how living without you has taken its toll

It’s the day before your passing
yes, two years ago
I’ve contemplated your last hours
hoping you didn’t suffer at all

I’m grateful we reconnected
in September before your passing
I would never have left you
if I had known this was going to happen

Two souls connected
in many lifetimes now past
Our love is deeply rooted
but in this one, not meant to last

In the blink of an eye
a void filled my soul
and I regret never getting to tell you
how your spirit made me feel whole

Your sudden death made me see
the true beauty of your essence
I took your role in my life for granted
and now long to feel your presence

It is in the depths of grief
that I continue to be shown
all the ways in which you loved me
now the burden is mine and mine alone

I belong to the wilderness
and the highest peaks
to the depths of the ocean
the same language we speak

To the blossoms of spring
and the summers’ breeze
I belong to a single blade of grass
and every rustling of leaves

To endless starlit nights
and the hope rising with dawn
With every bird taking flight
I belong to their song

I belong to the love
of a soulmates heart
and to the bitter anguish
that tore us apart

To the carefree laughter
of children at play
I belong to the fear they conceal
and their hope for a better day

I belong to the infinite yearning
of my place on this Earth
and to the unknowingness
and complexity of my timely birth

To my physical features
and the boldness of my eyes
I belong to this body
and why it keeps me alive

I belong not to my emotions
nor heartache or bliss
I belong to the intricacies of wisdom
and forever trust in its abyss

You lie beside me
with romantic feelings inside
But they no longer exist for me
and I know every reason why

I do not feel guilty
for not giving you what you desire
I’ve spent years pretending
there were flames feeding my fire

Early on fear took control
and you began to sculpt me
crafting and moulding
until I became acceptable

I wanted to please you
and went along with your ploy
But I was blind to your agenda
and what you were going to destroy

Weeks turned into months
months into years
Decades have now passed
and you finally admit to your fears

Confessions cannot mend
what never was whole
You stripped my identity
and it’s taken its toll

The truth is my love
has diminished and faded
Your obsession with oppression
has left me apathetic and jaded

Today I am bound and determined
to shed your sallowed skin
and reclaim the original beauty
that has always existed within

A cascade of tears create an inlet
while a desert of scars leaves me stranded
The subtleties of the wounded spirit
won’t always bleed from my wistful heart

I reflect in the ocean of sorrow
whilst famine feeds my storm
Quenching the longing for insight
I am witness to the rising of a new dawn

I will betray this spiritual darkness
by tending to my sacred garden
Soaking the seeds of compassion
I lie in wait for my soul to blossom

They chitter chatter
whispers so low
Hateful words lingering
while judgements grow

They stab the unsuspecting
with their cruelty and lies
giggling as victims bleed out
near death not knowing why

They are master manipulators
if you’re lacking self esteem
Blatantly despising you
then stroke your ego to get what they need

You can fuel their fire
by keeping yourself small
by judging their judgements
You feed the cycle, slowly killing us all

You won’t win through retaliation
don’t let anger control your mind
Feel the sadness of their cruelty
and self compassion is what you’ll find

We, the bullied and near broken
must keep our spirits high
We have a soul responsibility
as Keepers of the Light

It’s never about the oppressors
and their selfish, evil ways
It’s about time to summon your power
and shine your brilliant rays

Trauma triggers you
to be highly alert
to look for danger
at every turn

Oppression is cruel
and wounds the spirit
The truth about trauma
it has no limits

You may get labeled
Anxious or depressed
The truth about trauma
it never rests

It doesn’t have to be
through an accident, war or abuse
The truth about trauma
can be what didn’t happen for you

Neglect and rejection
cause tremendous pain
The truth about trauma
it leaves an invisible stain

Labels like low self concept
or insecure
Discount the truth about trauma
and the pain we endured

If you weren’t nurtured
and basic needs weren’t met
The truth about trauma
it changes our mindset

We believe we aren’t good enough
or permanently scarred
The truth about trauma
perception’s impaired

We are not damaged goods
no flawed character traits
The truth about trauma
doesn’t have to seal our fate

By reconnecting the mind, body
and soul
we uncover the truth about trauma
and reclaim the life that it stole

She walked back in
into the Lions Den
an undeniable fierceness
raging within

She had awakened
a beast so savagely wild
but it was no surprise
to the memory of this child

Though it’s presence was felt
fear was not her concern
She had tamed that beast
every scar they had earned

She took one step forward
it was two steps back
a bold move to bait the devil
anticipating the attack

She led with courage
dropping the armour of her past
the potential risk to survival
would be her greatest conquest

Finally, there was no epic battle
this time, no need to run
One step back in to the lions den
the war had already been won

Bullies have no power
when you realize your worth
so feed your self compassion
and commit to loving yourself first

I wept
for the abandoned child
imprisoned by years of neglect
until I found myself
cradled in the arms of forgiveness

Tender-eyed she gazed upon me
with endless compassion
and gently, unconditionally
weaved her love inside of
my locomotive mind

Ten thousand tremors subside
into a sea of blissful consciousness
My body surrenders its anguish
and I abide in the grace
of self acceptance

I weep
as my soul emerges
like first light on a snow capped peak
highlighting the clouds of oppression,
illuminating the beauty of my existence

Will I remain composed?
As my passion is exposed
Powerless to temptation
I bequeath my sad confession…

I want to steep in your essence
submerge into your scent
indulge in your sweetness
cherish every moment spent

I will let your richness linger
maintaining self control
For shall I delight in your affections
you will surely consume my poetic soul

I begged you
to unweave me from the confines
of this limited plane
and restitch me into
the richness of your tapestry

Instead you unearth my twisted roots
from the sanctuary of your soil
drain my crimson petals
unmoved as I whither away

I scatter desolation
a marred and stagnant bloom
Your unrequited love is conveyed
through the bitter winds of desertion

When it comes to you
I am at a loss for words
so my heart beats in symphonies
my mind will never compose