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Halynn Terrell Jan 2019
I know your name, and your favorite football team. But I dont know you're favorite color, why, its your favorite color, or your favorite song. I do know the way you run your finger down my back, your hand like an old car following every curve like an old country road, or the way you hold me close to your chest, but I dont know what makes you clench your fist, or yell at the top of your lungs. I don't know what makes your heart break and shatter, or what makes so many tears roll down your cheeks they soak your face, I don't know you're mothers maiden name,  the way you like your coffee, or if you even like coffee at all. I dont know what song you listen to when your broken, or the song you listen to when you're flying down the high going 90 Miles per hour after a good day. I know the way Im drawn to you, the way I trace the out line of your face in the light of the tv, I know the rhythm of your heart beat, and the pattern of your breath in my ear. The way I wanted you for so long. I dont know who you are, or why you might want me, even if it's just a fling for now. But  all I know is that I don't want it to end.
Halynn Terrell Jan 2019
In the end she was a cocktail
Of late nights
And ****** up emotions
Halynn Terrell Jan 2019
Life is a form of
Cruel and unusual
Punishment
We as humanity just watch
Lifes favorite torture device
Is our own hearts
Life likes to play a game
With our hearts
We tease ourselves
With this idea of love
So much our heart
Yearns for it
We crave it
We crave warmth
And flesh, and perfection  
We crave for a love that
Simply does not exist
We trick our own minds
Truly believing that love is
Something beautiful
Yet in reality
Its  earth shattering
And utterly heart breaking
If you have ever believed
You were in love and liked it
You were so wrong
Life will use love the same way
You use a carrot on a stick
Tease you, trick you In to falling
It waits until the moment is just right
Then you're whole world
Will Come crashing down
The beauty of life
Will you leave you
Trembling
Gasping for your Own breath
Soaked cheeks
And a ruin fantasy.
But if you're lucky
Life will show mercy
It will show you a truly  
Mesmerizing gift
True love
This one still beats you black and blue
Yet this one will dry your tears
Makes you coffee in the morning
Guards your heart
So life cant ever hurt it again
You only get one
One true love
Its not an easy type of love
Life will make you fight for it
Claw at the walls
Break the glass
It will make you go crazy
But if you manage to beat life
In this truly twisted game
You will forever be grateful
For the cruel and usual love
Halynn Terrell Jan 2019
Maybe one day
It won't be so hard
One day I'll feel again
Feel normal
And happy
Maybe one day
I won't feel hopeless
Or empty
Maybe one day
You'll love me
Like I've wanted you to
Maybe I'll love you
The way I always wanted to
It will be light
And smell like fresh laundry
Everything will taste like free pie
Feels like velvet and silk
And look like the night sky on the 4th of July
Maybe I'll love myself
Or something more than myself
Maybe one day
Everything will be okay
Halynn Terrell Jan 2019
You are a blank canvas
Your outline made with
childhood wonder
You are colored in with the shade
Excitement
Shaded with the color lies
Your eyes painted
Beautifully with hope
You are painted
With carelessness and revision
Revisions you did not want
On your cheek there is a handprint
Painted with blood rush
Your lips are revised with cuts
In shade fear
Your eyes painted over
In the shade *****
Color streaming down your face
Shades agony and beaten
Are used to bruise your body
A master piece
Created in a lifetime
The artist
A father
The canvas
A daughter
Halynn Terrell Jan 2019
You
You
I wasnt enough
I was to loud
to quite
To ugly
To pretty
You
You made me feel empty
Broken
As if noone could ever love me
You lied
Played me like a violin
You blamed me
For everything
You
You made me look like the monster
Made it look like I was crazy
I was shattered
You
You ruined love
Sunsets
Swingsets
Music
Promises
You were what I was always afraid of
My own worst fear
Forged into a human being
That I had no escape from
You
You
You
You are the reason why I am like this
The reason i have walls
You were supposed to break them down
But instead you built them
The reason why I leave my closet
Light on
Becase I'm afraid of the monster
That you are
You were not a story tale
Or dream
You
You were my own personal hell
My worst nightmare
The reason I am afraid of men
The reason I am a hollow shell
Of who once was
You
You
You
You
You are the reason I am not me
Anymore
Halynn Terrell Jan 2019
I wasnt aware
You could fall in love with someone
You dont know
be completely mesmerised where
They have full control over you, and they don't even know it.
I didnt know
you could fall in love With someone
and not know their middle name.
Until I met you.
You sliced through my skin with your eyes, broke my ribs with your words, pulled out my heart and left me strapped to the operating table, pinned, like a butterfly up for display. For your own personal amusement.
You, Completely obvious to the way I am drawn to you. I sketch my feeling into my diary so you won't see them.
I forgot you could love with someone that didnt love you back.
Until I spiraled and fell to get you to love me,
You made it okay to love you
I didnt know
Someone could break your heart
And not even realize it.

— The End —