It's the feeling that you're drowning and the only thing that can save you is the one person pushing you deeper in to the cold, black water

It's the feeling that you are standing at a crossroads and your heart tells you to stand in the tracks and get hit by the almighty train and your mind tells you to run

You've seen other people get hit by the almighty train. They've been fine. They've been happy.

Why am I the only one who questions getting hit by the almighty train that is love?

It's the over use of, "Baby, it's not you, it's me", of "I'm sorry I'm so ****** up" of "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to deal with this"

It's going to bed every night thinking, "I'm too broken to love"

But when he holds you in his arms. For that second, for that minute, your thoughts are cleared. He enters your brain with an eraser and clears the chalkboard mess that has become your mind.

Mom didn't know that when she died her daughters would just get sicker as the years went by

The oxygen that kept her daughters alive slows. It doesn't flow like it used to.

Best friend didn't know that the knife she stabbed in my back would scar and ruin me for anyone who tried to care about me next.

But maybe that was the goal

Feed off of you when my mothers oxygen ran out. Rely on you as the source of my happiness.

Slash my skin with your words and put me down. Push me until the only way I felt I could escape you was if I was six feet under.

Until I ripped myself from your grips. I left everything that made up my life still dripping from your two palms.