Eternity in an instant.
Camera flash and fading glow
Burning our eyeballs
Plastered minds have plastered smiles
Lighting up the dark night
Steamy laughs tease with vapors
In the wind
As we bundle up our jackets
Tight
An instant flash
Burning in my mind
Eternity is an instant.

A universe confined
In the border of our bodies
Mind, heart, soul
Galaxies of sizes
Beyond any comprehension
We could try to dream of
To look and wonder above
Is to float rather than drown
In the vastness
A 3 - dimensional actuality
In a 2 - dimensional perspective
we call the heavens
Even though they are just ***** of gas
We are universes
Not trapped in flesh and bone
But cradled and secure
In our temporary yet constantly changing
Bodies

Don't mind me
There is no harm in my stare
I enjoy admiring thee
Just sitting over there

I know, it is penetrating
Can be uncomfortable
I see you debating
Whether to walk to my table

Ask me, please
Why do I stare?
Darling, that's easy
For some reason I care

A frown doesn't sit
Quite right on your lips
I do not like it there

Let me make
You laugh right here
For the sorrow I cannot bear

So don't mind me
There is no harm in my stare
I would enjoy you with me
Only because I care

Day slips into night
Like your whispers in my ear
Gradual and soft
Sweet tones slip
Into dark cadances
Filled with lustful secrets
And wistful desires
Hot breath
Sends chills
Leave me quivering
Sedated on your presence
Sober on your words
Dear god
It's too much

The kind of songs that sing words
Of deep meanings
Tearing your soul from your body
While repeatedly stabbing your heart
Over and over again
Making you feel more alive than you actually were
They make you cry of your existence
You become insignificant in the world
Yet all the intangible human emotions is so large and real
These are my favorite songs

I am not one to be uprooted with ease
I find myself fairly grounded
Always thinking
Thoughts on a train with no stops
But then I'm sitting in your car
And the music's on
You look over at me
With eyes that make me weak
My mind quiets and all I see
Are your golden eyes
It's been a couple years
Of staring in your eyes
And still they make me weak

There is comfort
In familiarity
Even when we know it's wrong

We had no perfect flow that let us float peacefully down the river at sunset
Our time together has been an unpredictable ride of rough waters and smooth bends
Sailing down the river at dawn and not stopping
Even when the stars come out and all we see are the white caps of hell
Pushing and pulling, trying to wash us from the safety of our raft
We persist on against the odds and negative tongue of others
Because even though the ride has been almost too much
We still cling together with a death grip of our slippery hands
Knowing somewhere along the line the sun will rise and the bend will be smooth
Opening up into something so worthwhile
That we'd go through this hell of a ride again and again
Because what we have has always been worth it

A tornado in my head
A stain in my heart
Swirling, squeezing, crushing
Smile upside down
Swelling pit of dread
Stomach hurts
Heart hurts...
Is it still there?
Or has the tornado's whippings
Corode the soft, colorful walls
Into weathered, beaten, and pulsing
Cries for help?

Dark thoughts of his cigarette lips
Fill my daydreams
But then I am pulled back
To your familiar love
I don't deserve you
Or him probably for that matter
As I taste your kiss
All I want is to taste his
Feel his hands on me
Instead of one's I know
Just one taste
Maybe then I won't feel so
Torn

Do you actually see me?
Read the words I write
Hesitantly slipping you
The truth of my heart
Do you truly understand what my words whisper to you as my heart screams?
I don't think you do.
I feel so much in overwhelming waves
But to you I'm overreacting; just sensitive
What an insult to the thing I cradle close
Can't you see the pain bleeding from my eyes?
Can't you feel the pooling of blood from my heart I gave to your hands?
No, you don't
Because you set it down absently one day and forgot
Why keep me around if you've misplaced my heart?
I guess you can be careless if you never gave me back your own.
Your fail safe
You could have trusted me
I trusted you

Hands leave
No stain
But imprint
In my chest
Intricate designs
Make up
Fine lines
Of
Your fingerprints
Tracing paths
Of no markers
As they already
Belonged to you
You are not a stain
You are an imprint

My heart I give to you
swelled and patched
lighter in your familiar hands
I cradle yours close to where mine
had rested, so heavy

And even in death our bones will dance,
Swaying in a timeless beat

Chin down
Lips apart
Eyes up
So penetrating...
Do you see into the depths where my fears reside?
Or worse yet, my darkest desires?
An innocent youth in your movements
But the twinkle in your eye says different
Have you met that person yet?

I sit among the wild wind
And pelting rain
The chill settling in the air
Refreshing and wonderful
It is to sit in the storm
The world is screaming
Vigorously repeating,
"I am alive! Here I am!"
These people hide inside
To stay warm and dry
Hating this weather of mother nature
But I love it
I welcome the chill
And the untamed energy
Whipping around me at will
I'll take this over a still sunny day
I welcome the world and it's cry

Who the **** decided pain was beautiful?
Who thought it elegant to spin a tale of torture?
Because our words may sound a lovely mess to you
But it's our hearts crying out for a remedy
A cure
A pleading for anyone to snag onto our hooks
And help this **** suffering cease
Or at least stop bleeding for a moment of peace
It does sound pretty though
Vanity wins again
But we're still hurting

The only permanence I have is in my writing
The constant flow of thoughts and emotions brought to be visually deciphered
By eyes of different experiences
Thus being perceived in varying ways
Permanent in only a single perspective

After all the pain and hardships I've seen
My heart remains warm and soft
I did not grow cold or harden in the wake of seeing the ugly parts of life
However I find my heart more vulnerable
The pain in others evokes pain in my own as I listen emphatically to their self loathing
I understand the hatred towards the self
And the broken heart from an old lover
I have not grown cold over the years
I have become a sponge and an open dam
I let it in with open arms
And let it all flood out, uncontrollably

Let not wait for the nightingale
To pull the song from your lips
Let smooth song soothe rusty pipes
And convey uprooted thoughts
Be not shy of the nightingale
When it quiets and listens
Come dark night find solace
With an audience of approval
And sing a song as sweet
As a nightingale's

My rainbow is painted
Of blacks and greys
Bleeding into the canvas
Unstructured in form
Concrete in my smile
I will add the colors
As I see fit
To my rainbow

Baby you see a pretty face
At least to you I guess
And I do not fit your imagination
For the pain I carry is ugly
Unfortunately unseen
So you see a pretty surface
Get to know my pain
See my insecurities
Witness my flaws
Understand what I can't about me
It'd be much appreciated
But you don't want that
So I won't waste my time
Wanting to understand you

How intimate
resting ear to chest
hearing that steady thump,
never consistent
listening, seeing...feeling
the life beneath me
more than a body
more than a soul
a complex design of both
with simple inner-workings
as a heartbeat
let me melt into your chest
my limbs now yours
our heartbeats in sync
my ear to your chest
feeling that steady thump

Your pain
Paints the other
In evil colors
When in reality
You're just
Vulnerable hearts
Drowning
Together

Seventeen years fly by
With last whispers of child youth
Entering adulthood with a
Road map I can't read
The end and begining
Where everything started
Firsts of all firsts
Love
Lust
And drugs
Mind and heart lay waste to the
Havoc of it all
Three years later at twenty,
I say my last goodbyes to childhood youth and indulge in the nostalgia of Seventeen

Let me help you
I see your struggles
I see more than I do
Listen more than I say
Watch you struggle
As I struggle to your aid
What do I have to help with
When I carry nothing?
I'm sorry
I cannot help you
I have to help myself first
Maybe you should try too

Walk through fire
Set heart ablaze
In the serenity
Of the dying leaves
Never seen anything
More beautiful

Am I strong for not breaking down and ending an endless fight?
Or am I weak for holding it in and giving up on a worthwhile heart?
Either way,
It hurts like hell.

I guess old hurts never stay buried
If never forgiven, forgotten, at peace
Losing you in a moment's pause
Is building up that iron wall
Banging the javale on my heart
I'm tired of fighting for something you don't want
Even though it's all I've ever dreamed of
I like me better when I'm with you
I strive to be your partner, your best friend
And with you gone
So is all the good in me

Silence holds a ringing
Of voices never there
Echoing the lonely
And a teardrop's despair

When being vulnerable
with the one you love
Turns into the bullets
That tear you apart

Reality never becomes a dream with you like all the lovers doped up claim. Floating in a daze, high on each others vibes, no. Life with you is reality and anything but is a dream I'd like to wake up from. There's a certain rooted strength in the clarity of your presence. Not just some sinful mirage of lustful desires and hopes that may slip away as fast as they came. My time with you is never a dream because dreams end in a saddened wakefulness. Time does not slow down nor speed up. It goes on as it does and submerges me in our reality.

You are the thorn in my bed
Poking and prodding
The demons I've long
Hushed to sleep

Here lies the anger
So twisted with hate
Forgiven and buried
Too late

Goodbyes with tears
Resonating with grief
So long not forgiven
Will I ever find peace?

You are the thorn in my heart
Stabbing and soothing
My demons I've longed
Kept awake