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Matt Perkins Nov 2017
All I do is give, and all they do is take. Is this life I live, bound to be my fate? Or is there something more, when will I receive, the love that i keep giving everyone I meet. Its starting to get harder to wake up and be glad, this life that I am living is starting to make me mad. I try so hard for nothing, the results I can not see. Its love I'm holding out for, but my time keeps passing me. I hope that someday someone will spark inside of me, those emotions that i long for very desperatly. I will give my love out unconditionally. I wont let this world take that away from me. So give and expect nothing, just pass along the love. Lets make this world better i fear it is our job.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Any type of person you can imagine, exists, and you might not be one of them.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
A story sad and filled with tears, happened to fall upon my ears.
The setting in a small quaint village.
The people here did not expect it.
A man not from there came to town, his hair was long and nails were brown. The people saw him as a ***. They didnt care where he came from. They didnt think he belonged here. The man had journeyed far and long. Inside him he had many songs. Some filled with joy and others sadness, the village folk dont understand this. Their lives are simple day to day, they things they do the things they say, the common pleasantries we all deserve, were never given to this man i heard. They all thought he didnt matter. His hair was long so he got spat on. The way that people treated him, just wasn't fair he's a human. His many skills were never used, he was constantly abused. No one took the little time it takes to make or break someone. If they had cared and tried to help, the man might not have froze that night. When winter hit and cold came in, The village folk wouldnt help him. The man had found a place to sleep, upon a bench his life ended. The people cried, I should have helped, but its too late the man had perished.
Just trying something new. I need to work on this a little bit more.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
I see the evil in the world. I try to pretend it doesn't exist. I feel your thoughts I can taste your hate. The best I can do is fix myself and hope you follow my footsteps. You act so righteous like you know it all. I can see you soul has fallen far. A break from life is what I need I'm getting weak I can not breath. All these things inside my head, only gone the day im dead.
Matt Perkins Jul 2018
Ive tasted your poison, been burnt by your touch. The memories stay, the feelings to dust. I was never a saint but neither were you. I'm on to be better, and thats without you.
Much better off in fact
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
My blackened heart was once exposed I told you things you'd never known. You stained what was once just pure and gold. I feel like I am getting old. Trust me when I say its gone, ill never love you trust belongs. And with those words that passed your lips, i can not ever forget. I wish you well, that is a lie, I hope you want to ******* die. Then you'll know the truth in me, this blackened heart exposed to see.
Will I ever find where I belong
This pains been drawn out far too long. I paint a smile on my face the world won't know my disgrace. The time I spend inside my head makes me wish that I was dead. A prison of my own demise, I'm sure you see it in my eyes. The spell I'm under that I cast, will always make me end up last. Im wearing life out way too fast. I need a friend who's got my back. Before the light fades to all black.
Wrote this a year ago after a heartbreak.
I write the best stuff when im feeling anything but happy.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Theres times when I feel tiny in this great big massive world. Its times like these i wonder if you all will hear my words. Or am i writing nonsense just to ease my mind. These are the things I think about all the ******* time. It doesnt matter much to me to matter much at all. But sometimes I will wonder if my voice is heard at all. Am I screaming into darkness not an echo to be heard? Or is there someone listening who needs it in their world. I guess ill never know for sure what impact i may have. People might not read these words until after I am dead.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Only you can do something to change how we function, the goal is to grow and teach people more. If you could try listeneing to everyones ******* youd see what we all have in mind. Its time to change something this **** isn't functioning. The system is broken down bad. And you dont see why people are mad? Please. The issues go deep inspect and you'll see theres answers in front of your face. Its clear to me why we disagree, our hearts are not in the same place. Im trying to help, you're screaming and yelling and telling me to go to hell. When all i am doing is trying to do **** to better this planet we share. And further than that when blue fades to black the future is no longer ours. It must be passed on so let's get along and make it a much better place. The kids will inherit more than just the planet they pick up on our disagreements. The fight will not end until we defend each other no matter our flag. The worlds not so big when you live in your head and you truly can see why we are here. Its not to gain money now that is just funny you think you can buy endless life? We're here to experience to love and to fix things and to work for a better tomorrow. So next time you see someone in pain and struggling do what you'd want them to do if it wasn't them struggling but you. I hope that you see now that love is the answer to anything life throws your way.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
There's a turning point in every story. Things will come around. The forks we come to give us choice, to find our own way home. One ways always easy the other hard. Which path seems more rewarding? The struggle builds true character, it makes you more aware. Calm smooth seas don't make good captains, the storms will make or break you. Dont wait for someone to help you. Walk the path alone a while and see where you end up. Its not as bad as you might think, you learn to have self love.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Girl when it's you and me. All alone without any company. I cant help myself from getting this feeling of wanting to go down and make love to you. You feel my breath against your skin. I know you like when I pull you in. Your back is arching against my arms I squeeze and feel you want it hard. The way I touch you I see you love it, I taste your lips your neck your chest. Only you can guess what's next. I grab your thighs and move my tounge. Oooh i felt you feel that one. You grab my hair and squeeeeeze and pull. I like it rough i told you so. Your face goes down and *** goes up you ask me please to tie you up. I didnt know you were a freak, my neighbors yell im trying to sleep. Embarrased now we both start laughing, old Mrs white knows what is happening. To quiet down you bite a pillow you scream i cream and then we lay there. Now i know that it was very good you couldnt walk across the room. Your legs were shaking body quaking fluids come out squirting, I love you girl and lemme say that *** was out of this world.
As real as it gets.
Matt Perkins Jan 2018
I tried to not get feelings but I got them anyhow.
My heart beats uncontrollably whenever you're around.
The power you have over me when your eyes connect with mine.
These feelings that you give me I have never felt inside.
I tried to not get feelings but I got them anyhow.
Whenever I am with you I can't help but to just smile.
I hope that someday soon we can hang out for awhile.
I tried to not get feelings but I got them anyhow.
You make me want to feel things that would normally make me scared.
Its starting to feel like maybe my heart might be repaired. 
All I know for sure is that I truly care.
Im opening up doors that have been closed off awhile.
Its something in the way you talk and laugh with your cute smile.
Its something I can't get enough I treasure every bit.
Take my hand and go with me lets make this world ours.
I will build a throne for you next to it I will sit.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
My armour covers old festering wounds, I could mend them but id be left exposed. I bury how I feel deep down. Im trying hard to flip my frown. Its not so easy when you feel alone. Searching for a place called home. Wishing someone would just hug me, hold me tight and say they love me. Calm my fears and make me happy. Is that too much to ask for? *** comes easy love comes hard. I think that's how I lost my heart. I cant connect because I don't want to. Im scared to lose all that I fought for.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Take a step towards the edge. Feel your heart, drop. Lean over the ledge, take a second, stop. Breathe one last breath before you take flight. Soar through the air, fly into the night. Darkness consumes if you don't put up a fight. Just pull the rip cord and youll be alright.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
You ever wish the rest of the world would forget you exist? Get some time to yourself, get some time to just think. Without interuption, and no obligations. The worries of life left behind. It would just be you and your mind. To dissect the problems that plague your own thoughts, first thing you must disconnect. Escape from it all, and base who you are on the fact that your fully unique. No one can be you so own it and be cool with the fact that life has to end. Live in the moment experience and grow up so one day you can pass on, your treasures your medals and all of your special things you acquired in time.  But more than the gold and things you can hold pass on the way that you are. Plant seeds that will grow until they are old so one day they will plant their own seeds. Then in a way you never leave.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Slow flowing water
Littered with sludge and waste
The earth sighs sadly.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Nothing lasts for good,
Time takes over once you're gone,
Take it while you can.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Love tugs hugs, you shrug

Pain makes it rain, im insane

Now I'm all alone
Again
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Falling in and out of love will leave you empty and alone. The touch of a new lover will be your only goal. The things that could once make you smile, will send shivers down your spine. The memories of a long lost love imprinted in your mind. You cant connect the same way those feelings forever left behind. Its hard to repair the damage a broken heart can create.
Matt Perkins Dec 2017
All of these nice pictures are stored up inside my head. I look at them and wonder will i see them when im dead. These thoughts are never ending and, the answers not for sure. Life is one big mystery and we're all invited to the show.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Holding on for something real, i wont fall for that devils deal, ive been down that road before. Before i jump into the dark im making sure i wont get hurt and ive got my light shining brighter than its ever been. That old man told me i might feel lonely but not to worry cause time will mold me to be a better man. So i close my eyes look to the skies and pray it wasnt just a lie, i can do this i say. Just another day. It all seem odd these wheels and cogs keep ticking on until im gone i feel my days are fading fast i have to make these moments last. And even as i slip away ill know whats right ill know whats wrong and still im trying to be strong living with this weight inside my mind. Waiting for the rain to wash away all of these poisnous thoughts these feelings of uncertanity the feeling insecurity. Only i can fix it all, i must try and if i fall ill learn to walk right up again holding on nobodys hand.
This was written years ago before i got into poetry.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
All that we have is each other, so lets all start acting like brothers. Learn how to forgive one another. Lets make OUR 'Home' 'World' like no other.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
I dont know if I can pretend, to be the guy that holds your hand, anymore, right now. The things i said that didnt matter, changed the way I thought of you, I know it all seems kinda messed up but I'd never do wrong to you. I can't act like you didn't hurt me, you scarred me way down to my core. You had my heart in the palm of your hand girl and you dropped it right down on the floor.
I wont hold on any longer to the memories that we made, I'm a fool to think that you loved me, ive never felt more betrayed. I will pack my **** and leave town, start fresh somewhere new. Somewhere nobody knows me as the guy who's been running round town with you.
Kinda funny how it ended with you stabbing me in the back. Never saw it coming though gotta at least give you that.
Things will never be the same. I gotta get you outta my brain. cause all your causing me is pain. I wont ever be the same.
I need to find my will to wake up and move on far away from the pain. But my lifes been cold and empty, now that you've gone away. I can't keep waiting for the answers I have to start searching on my own. Soon it will be clear that I can get through my life alone. I dont need you by my side. When i said i did I lied. Girl I thought you were the one. But all you thought of me was fun. It's ok i understand you must have found a better man. Not like I didn't treat you right. Always let you win the fights. Now Its cold and hard but here it is. Go **** yourself you stupid *****.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
It was funny but I didn't laugh, not even a smile cracked. My hearts been strangled my mind is mangled, I use drugs to escape. Slowly burning holes inside me i am feeling old and down. maybe its this town. The drugs are easy girls ****** I am sick of this. Incapeable of love now I've ****** around and broke down. I can't seem to find purpose this life does not seem worth it. I hope to soon feel better and remeber how to smile.
Idk
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Idk
Im on this path to see whats at the end. Its a long windy road with lots of bends. Getting lost is part of the journey. Its not a problem im in no hurry, telling stories of friends who've gone. Through my words they will live on. The dark days come the dark days go, one day we all gotta go. Light is peaking through the cracks, I break on through and dont look back.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
I don't think i can change the world, but I wont let that stop me from trying. Its dangerous, once you start using the tools you're supplied with. Everything I do, I try thinking of all of you, how you feel deep down, how the things that I say are affecting you. The way you live, and the things that you say, have effects that live on way long after your body decays. So the way I live and the things i say, are only out of love and craziness.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Im sorry that I messed up, called you names and made you cry. These emotions can be too much, for me to keep inside. I honestly do love you, but your feelings aren't the same. Its things like this that happen, that make me go insane. I know it shouldnt matter if you love me or you don't. But really I can't help to feel that I'm inadequate.
Matt Perkins Jan 2018
Im blind, trying to love someone who is deaf. They don't hear me, and I don't see it. All I know is I can taste when they feel it.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
We all just want to be wanted, in a world where we all die alone. Someone to make our lives better, just by a simple hello. Its hard to find someone whos special, in all of the ways that we want. Its easier to be all alone, but I want something more so ill fight. Theres got to be more to this life. Ill search til ive found the right one. Always keeping my eyes open waiting for the one that ill love. Ive been alone longer than most, Im not sure if its good or im toast. I won't settle for anything less, than someone I think is the best. Its not worth it to jump love to love, ill save it and wait for the one. But I can be lonely alone with no one. That's alright life still can be fun. Waiting to find the right one.
Matt Perkins Dec 2017
No one is going to save me. I will surely die alone. I feel a tightness in my throat, and tears well up in my eyes. A sinking feeling in my chest, they say that I'm depressed. I say my life's a mess. There are no words to comfort me when my mind is in this place. Im blankly staring onward, directly into the void. The cuts are never deep enough and the whiskey never works. My friends can not begin to know how much I really hurt. I keep my thoughts all to myself, you'd never understand. I dont know how I got here there were days i wasn't sad. Life will one day vanish and ill lose everything I had. Im trying to get better but I guess its not that bad.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Im not the best poet and trust me I know it, but I won't let that stop me from trying. I try to find words to express what ive learned so that you may find something within them. I don't know if Im right with all my insight, but I won't let that stop me from trying.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
It just me and my beagle trecking through the woods. His nose it to the ground and my eyes are on the trees. Im looking for some mushrooms yeah im kind of crazy. My beagles name is Leo and he's surely my puppy. Every where i go he is there right next to me. I love the smells and feeling of being in the woods, the feeling is so liberating the sights the smells the touch. The air is somewhat different than the air you breath inside, you might call me crazy, but it really gets me high. The birds they sing the squirells chirp the deer tails flick when fleeing. Everything around me occurring naturally. I lose my self and feel free when I'm outside in the woods. I found my favorite past time just out walking with my dog.
Matt Perkins Apr 2018
Let me be your best friend,
Hold your hand until the end.
Navigating life without a map
It will be ok ive got your back
Help me love my enemies
Show me what it means to live
Learn with me the ancient truths
Show me how the world works
Ill open up my heart to you
Love for what you put me through
Share the knowledge of the universe
After life there is rebirth
Close my eyes and run ahead
On into the land of dead.
Existing as a soul in space
Floating on through love itself.
Tell me what you see and feel
These are things i want to hear.
I give this love away to you.
Now you know right what to do.
Ive been enlightened. I've seen the truth.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
The way you are, lives on way longer than you live.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
You asked me if i was lonely, depends on what you really mean. There are times when i feel sadness, when youre not here  with me. When we spend our time together you make me feel so warm and alive, my soul has found just what it craves, when I look into your eyes. I know youd never hurt me on purpose or for fun. I guess that this is what they meant when they said id find true love.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
There's only so many thoughts, but let me tell you there are lots.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Every day when i wake up, I am thinking bout what i can do, things to make you happy, just to be sure youre pulling through. When I see you feeling empty, inside I feel the same. I don't know how to explain this, but I truly feel your pain. It matters that your happy, for my own mind to feel fine. I know that its not fair, but I depend on your smile. Without it I feel empty, dark and cold you hold my fire. I hope you understand, that i loved you sweetie pie.

Honey id die to love you, I miss the way you held my hand, how you said that i would always forever be your man.  Now all of it feels so empty. What ever happend to our plan? I can't help it but to think that all of its a sham, now its gone, all along, with every other thing related to you, who would think that id ever say, that it would be better off this way, maybe there will come a day, where I wont be missing you.

The days seem cold and lonely, now that you have gone. I wish that i had maybe tried, to stop before you were gone. But i was kinda selfish, took our love for granted babe. Now all that I have left of you, is the memories that we made
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
There's things I think about that i never turn to words. Inside there is a dialogue that tells me what should be heard. When I speak ive played it out and guessed what will come next. I dont know why but Im feeling like my minds a ******* mess. I guess that it's a problem that i probably should address.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
There is more to life than meets the eye,
Across the world there's birds that fly, and fish that swim across the seas, many things youll never see. There's people living on the streets, you will not know them, you'll never meet. You go along throughout your day without once thinking, how are they? You cannot care you don't know them, you think they are just stinky bums. Theyre people too they might be *****, but they still love and hurt as you do.
There's more to life than meets the eye. Sometimes we must sift through the lies.
To find the truth thats burried in, with all these falsehoods coming in. Its hard to tell when people lie they look you right dead in the eyes. They tell you things that might be true, but later find out they got you. Its all ok its all alright, there's more to life than meets the eye.
Its a work in progress. I feel like i could add so much more and make this poem really awesome. Feel free to add a few lines.
Matt Perkins Jul 2018
Constructive pain is not felt in vain. Inside im burning, but really im learning.
All of the trials endured in loves name. I should have just listened but thats not the same.
With every struggle I learn in some way.
No matter what we all must feel pain.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
I see the fear of being forgotten. Why do we want to be remembered? Does it give our lives more meaning to feel like people wont forget us? Why do we care what happens after we die? Will our life be meaningless if people dont remember who we were? One day we all are forgotten here. Do you remember your great great great grandparents? Is there anyone alive today who does? Dont let that scare you. We all have to leave this place eventually.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Life is crazy . It never stops being crazy. **** just goes and goes and doesn't stop no matter what you do. It never ceases to amaze me. Every day it seems something comes along where I feel like I'm helping someone some way. Either that or I have a chance to and turn it down.. I dont know. I don't know why I'm alive. Im trying to find a purpose for my life. Use my skills I learn in life to help people is about all I can think for what a good purpose would be. I don't care about doing things for myself. I've realized Im going to die some day no matter what I do. Its not very difficult to sustain my own life. Why live life for me if no matter what I do I die in the end? Why not help other people while I can? Everyone knows something you don't, and you know something someone else doesn't know. Life is never a solo journey unless you conife yourself to want it to be that way. There are billions of people around you, with lives just as complex as yours. Nothing stops for you. It just keeps going. No matter what you do. I just want to find my place in life im tired of feeling lost.
This is from the vaults. Welcome to my mind.
Matt Perkins Jul 2018
I feel old and worn like a tattered piece of fabric filled with burnt holes.

Im not that old man, its all on the inside somewhere deep dark and lonely.

Emotions not dealt with cascade like a flood,
and theres no escaping,
Theres nowhere to run.

My stone heart has broken its shattered to dust. My foundations crumbled im cold and im lost.

I know my own worth, I just want to be happy, to make sure you smile and feel joy when im with you.
Thats all that really matters to me.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
I try to be a good man the best way that i can. Helping out the human race is my master plan. The words you say will ripple, affecting so much more, than the person you are talking to, once they leave your door.
Matt Perkins Dec 2017
Its hard to remember that the things that i know, are not public knowledge, I've spent years on this road. I try to relate and to find understanding, in the ways that we love, and the ways that we handle stress. Its not all sunshine and rainbows, some days it will rain. There is no escaping the trials and pain. We have nothing to lose though, we only can gain, experience and wisdom that comes with the years, some of its paid through struggles and tears. To know what its like you'll be sitting rock bottom, it will teach you a lesson that wont be forgotten. The only way out is by engaging in actions, that push you straight forward, no time for relapsing. Just one small step gets you out of the mess, after you're up youll have time to assess, the current situation on top of your plate, don't wait to long youll be sealing your fate. With each step away from the cold hard rock bottom you'll start beginning to learn to be happy with what youve got, even if its not a lot.
Matt Perkins Dec 2017
My true strength hides within. In the deep crevices where shadows can get in. Only when I test myself can I find where the limits lie. If I want to grow I've got to push myself harder and higher, never giving in to my earthly desires. When will I finally know what I came here to learn. When will i finally be ready to teach others the wisdom I've earned. Each and every day Im striving to be better, pushing the limits and breaking the boundaries. I promise you this, im not who you thought. In my short time I have learned a lot. Out on the surface you see what I am, just a man whos measly existence seems without a purpose. But the surface is deceiving, there's layers you'll never know.
Matt Perkins Feb 2018
Winter moonlight shining bright,
Stay inside with me tonight.

Lets get lost in conversation,
Say what we think no hesitation.

Tell me things about your life
That make me want you as my wife.

Our time is short the night burns fast
Why do good things never last?

When you show your heart to me
Beauty is the only thing I see.

Please my dear don't go away
Stay with me here another day
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Seeing a smile on a strangers face has a way that makes me grin. Knowing there is happiness in places ive never been. To think that there are people that I will never meet, puts things in perspective and makes me really think. There isn't time to ponder on if I should wave or not. Might as well just say hello, and give them a head nod. You never know who needs it, some peoples worlds are dark. That smile that you give them just might be the light to spark, a feeling deep inside of them, that the worlds not so dark. You might just save their life today you might just make their week. I guess youll really never know what strangers you may touch.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
We are all lost
Thats the way I feel
Giving and taking with no know costs
Thats the way I feel
Taking things we never own
Thats the way I feel
Life will one day disappear
Thats the way it is.
If you are reading this, add some lines before the last 2. I feel like this could be cool if I put some more time into it.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
As i journey into the abyss, I think about what i will miss, family and friends, but memories the most, because without them who am I but an empty host. The things i held to tightly quickly stolen swept away. No one ever told me it would be my very last day. I always knew it was coming but i could never have prepared. The end is nearing closer. Just know I love and cared.
Matt Perkins Nov 2017
Love can hurt you, but it can feel so good at the same time. But when it ends, or someone you love hurts you, it hurts a thousand time worse than if someone else you don't really love said or did the same thing. We give that power to people over us. We surrender ourselves and make ourselves vulnerable only because we expect the person we are surrendering to will not ever hurt us . Those feelings have roots that run deep inside of the fabric of who we are. Sometimes the roots will take hold, and when the other person waters them, and cares for them, it turns to the most beautuful thing you could ever imagine. But when its neglected, and abused, the same thing that was beautiful is now poisoned, and like I said the roots run deep. You can feel like a completely different person when you're with someone. Just more confident and happy. But the same person can make us feel so horrible about ourselves. Why do we give this power over our emotions to people? Is it because we feel like we have that same power over them?
Thoughts?
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