Falling in and out of love will leave you empty and alone. The touch of a new lover will be your only goal. The things that could once make you smile, will send shivers down your spine. The memories of a long lost love imprinted in your mind. You cant connect the same way those feelings forever left behind. Its hard to repair the damage a broken heart can create.

Life is crazy . It never stops being crazy. **** just goes and goes and doesn't stop no matter what you do. It never ceases to amaze me. Every day it seems something comes along where I feel like I'm helping someone some way. Either that or I have a chance to and turn it down.. I dont know. I don't know why I'm alive. Im trying to find a purpose for my life. Use my skills I learn in life to help people is about all I can think for what a good purpose would be. I don't care about doing things for myself. I've realized Im going to die some day no matter what I do. Its not very difficult to sustain my own life. Why live life for me if no matter what I do I die in the end? Why not help other people while I can? Everyone knows something you don't, and you know something someone else doesn't know. Life is never a solo journey unless you conife yourself to want it to be that way. There are billions of people around you, with lives just as complex as yours. Nothing stops for you. It just keeps going. No matter what you do. I just want to find my place in life im tired of feeling lost.

My armour covers old festering wounds, I could mend them but id be left exposed. I bury how I feel deep down. Im trying hard to flip my frown. Its not so easy when you feel alone. Searching for a place called home. Wishing someone would just hug me, hold me tight and say they love me. Calm my fears and make me happy. Is that too much to ask for? *** comes easy love comes hard. I think that's how I lost my heart. I cant connect because I don't want to. Im scared to lose all that I fought for.

Slow flowing water
Littered with sludge and waste
The earth sighs sadly.

Holding on for something real, i wont fall for that devils deal, ive been down that road before. Before i jump into the dark im making sure i wont get hurt and ive got my light shining brighter than its ever been. That old man told me i might feel lonely but not to worry cause time will mold me to be a better man. So i close my eyes look to the skies and pray it wasnt just a lie, i can do this i say. Just another day. It all seem odd these wheels and cogs keep ticking on until im gone i feel my days are fading fast i have to make these moments last. And even as i slip away ill know whats right ill know whats wrong and still im trying to be strong living with this weight inside my mind. Waiting for the rain to wash away all of these poisnous thoughts these feelings of uncertanity the feeling insecurity. Only i can fix it all, i must try and if i fall ill learn to walk right up again holding on nobodys hand.

You ever wish the rest of the world would forget you exist? Get some time to yourself, get some time to just think. Without interuption, and no obligations. The worries of life left behind. It would just be you and your mind. To dissect the problems that plague your own thoughts, first thing you must disconnect. Escape from it all, and base who you are on the fact that your fully unique. No one can be you so own it and be cool with the fact that life has to end. Live in the moment experience and grow up so one day you can pass on, your treasures your medals and all of your special things you acquired in time.  But more than the gold and things you can hold pass on the way that you are. Plant seeds that will grow until they are old so one day they will plant their own seeds. Then in a way you never leave.

Your smile imprinited in my mind.
The way you move, and bat your eyes.
Id call it love but I've learned a lot.
I know what's real and i know what's not.
Something about you pulls me in.
It has me asking what is this?
It doesnt happen all too often that
I don't know why my heart is pumping.
I feel between us energy.
It's not something that you can see.
I feel it growing more and more.
Its shocking what you do to me.
My hearts leaping out on to the floor.
I know by now to not give in
My love is guarded secretly.
I can't begin to speak my feelings
They are tangled up inside of me.
I hope you want to know me more.
My heart and mind are growing sore.
I cant pretend and play much longer.
Hopefully you make me stronger.
Maybe this is real. Maybe this will **** me.

My blackened heart was once exposed I told you things you'd never known. You stained what was once just pure and gold. I feel like I am getting old. Trust me when I say its gone, ill never love you trust belongs. And with those words that passed your lips, i can not ever forget. I wish you well, that is a lie, I hope you want to ******* die. Then you'll know the truth in me, this blackened heart exposed to see.
Will I ever find where I belong
This pains been drawn out far too long. I paint a smile on my face the world won't know my disgrace. The time I spend inside my head makes me wish that I was dead. A prison of my own demise, I'm sure you see it in my eyes. The spell I'm under that I cast, will always make me end up last. Im wearing life out way too fast. I need a friend who's got my back. Before the light fades to all black.

We all just want to be wanted, in a world where we all die alone. Someone to make our lives better, just by a simple hello. Its hard to find someone whos special, in all of the ways that we want. Its easier to be all alone, but I want something more so ill fight. Theres got to be more to this life. Ill search til ive found the right one. Always keeping my eyes open waiting for the one that ill love. Ive been alone longer than most, Im not sure if its good or im toast. I won't settle for anything less, than someone I think is the best. Its not worth it to jump love to love, ill save it and wait for the one. But I can be lonely alone with no one. That's alright life still can be fun. Waiting to find the right one.

Take a step towards the edge. Feel your heart, drop. Lean over the ledge, take a second, stop. Breathe one last breath before you take flight. Soar through the air, fly into the night. Darkness consumes if you don't put up a fight. Just pull the rip cord and youll be alright.

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Im not the best poet and trust me I know it, but I won't let that stop me from trying. I try to find words to express what ive learned so that you may find something within them. I don't know if Im right with all my insight, but I won't let that stop me from trying.

Im on this path to see whats at the end. Its a long windy road with lots of bends. Getting lost is part of the journey. Its not a problem im in no hurry, telling stories of friends who've gone. Through my words they will live on. The dark days come the dark days go, one day we all gotta go. Light is peaking through the cracks, I break on through and dont look back.

There's a turning point in every story. Things will come around. The forks we come to give us choice, to find our own way home. One ways always easy the other hard. Which path seems more rewarding? The struggle builds true character, it makes you more aware. Calm smooth seas don't make good captains, the storms will make or break you. Dont wait for someone to help you. Walk the path alone a while and see where you end up. Its not as bad as you might think, you learn to have self love.

Constructive pain is not felt in vain. Inside im burning, but really im learning.
All of the trials endured in loves name. I should have just listened but thats not the same.
With every struggle I learn in some way.
No matter what we all must feel pain.

Let me be your best friend,
Hold your hand until the end.
Navigating life without a map
It will be ok ive got your back
Help me love my enemies
Show me what it means to live
Learn with me the ancient truths
Show me how the world works
Ill open up my heart to you
Love for what you put me through
Share the knowledge of the universe
After life there is rebirth
Close my eyes and run ahead
On into the land of dead.
Existing as a soul in space
Floating on through love itself.
Tell me what you see and feel
These are things i want to hear.
I give this love away to you.
Now you know right what to do.

There is more to life than meets the eye,
Across the world there's birds that fly, and fish that swim across the seas, many things youll never see. There's people living on the streets, you will not know them, you'll never meet. You go along throughout your day without once thinking, how are they? You cannot care you don't know them, you think they are just stinky bums. Theyre people too they might be *****, but they still love and hurt as you do.
There's more to life than meets the eye. Sometimes we must sift through the lies.
To find the truth thats burried in, with all these falsehoods coming in. Its hard to tell when people lie they look you right dead in the eyes. They tell you things that might be true, but later find out they got you. Its all ok its all alright, there's more to life than meets the eye.

Would it be a bad thing to die alone?
Living your life coming home to an empty home. Quietly thinking what is wrong with your head. Inside and out knowing neither are great. Some say its karma I say its fate. Playing out scenes that only you make, hoping and wishing that you make the show. Implicitly Complacent show me the scars your insecurities left. Open your heart and show me what's left. I will cherish it up until death.

A story sad and filled with tears, happened to fall upon my ears.
The setting in a small quaint village.
The people here did not expect it.
A man not from there came to town, his hair was long and nails were brown. The people saw him as a ***. They didnt care where he came from. They didnt think he belonged here. The man had journeyed far and long. Inside him he had many songs. Some filled with joy and others sadness, the village folk dont understand this. Their lives are simple day to day, they things they do the things they say, the common pleasantries we all deserve, were never given to this man i heard. They all thought he didnt matter. His hair was long so he got spat on. The way that people treated him, just wasn't fair he's a human. His many skills were never used, he was constantly abused. No one took the little time it takes to make or break someone. If they had cared and tried to help, the man might not have froze that night. When winter hit and cold came in, The village folk wouldnt help him. The man had found a place to sleep, upon a bench his life ended. The people cried, I should have helped, but its too late the man had perished.

Any type of person you can imagine, exists, and you might not be one of them.

I feel old and worn like a tattered piece of fabric filled with burnt holes.

Im not that old man, its all on the inside somewhere deep dark and lonely.

Emotions not dealt with cascade like a flood,
and theres no escaping,
Theres nowhere to run.

My stone heart has broken its shattered to dust. My foundations crumbled im cold and im lost.

I know my own worth, I just want to be happy, to make sure you smile and feel joy when im with you.
Thats all that really matters to me.

Girl when it's you and me. All alone without any company. I cant help myself from getting this feeling of wanting to go down and make love to you. You feel my breath against your skin. I know you like when I pull you in. Your back is arching against my arms I squeeze and feel you want it hard. The way I touch you I see you love it, I taste your lips your neck your chest. Only you can guess what's next. I grab your thighs and move my tounge. Oooh i felt you feel that one. You grab my hair and squeeeeeze and pull. I like it rough i told you so. Your face goes down and *** goes up you ask me please to tie you up. I didnt know you were a freak, my neighbors yell im trying to sleep. Embarrased now we both start laughing, old Mrs white knows what is happening. To quiet down you bite a pillow you scream i cream and then we lay there. Now i know that it was very good you couldnt walk across the room. Your legs were shaking body quaking fluids come out squirting, I love you girl and lemme say that *** was out of this world.

Ask me some questions,
get into my head,
This human connection is what I am lacking.

I want to be known and know you as well.
Living alone is like living in hell.

Theres got to be someone to shoot the **** with, a person to talk to just someone to click with.
I know I sound selfish to use you for this. But you can use me I promise I
don't hit. Nothing I do is ever to hurt you, I dont even know you but i can tell you that's true.

Hanging on by a thread, my mind is a mess, killing brain cells just to rest, life is all a test. Reflections and memories of life lived so far, the mistakes that Ive made left me covered in scars. My life is a battle, sometimes things get hard. I will never give up ill fight through the dark.

I've felt peoples faces becoming my own, i quickly retreated becoming more cold. Don't ask where I went to it wouldn't make sense, the places I crawl to are deep and depressed. Its hard to explain I am not like the rest.

I hope that your listening, to these words that Im stringing, I write to inspire you, build a fire inside of you, so that one day you all can, spread that fire across the land. Teach inspire and educate. Make the world something great. A place where we all can get along, see the common ground we're standing on. Life is really not that long. Now i hope that you all liked my song.

Take the time to calm your mind and choose your next decision
Some will lead and some will follow make sure you know your place
The only one responsible is a reflection in the pond
What I do is all for me and I still call the shots
The many people that I know I care for very much
The mind is always mend-able until it turns to dust
The best advice a man can give is not to give advice
Let the people find themselves let the people fight
Things always escalate with emotions in the way
But take them out and find a life in black and white and gray
Felling mad or sad or good they're feelings all the same
Just another part of life that no one can explain
Trust your gut emotions, you've had them since day one.
Don't take life so serious lets just have some fun.

Memories of the times we had. Ill have to admit it wasn't all bad. In the end you stabbed me in the heart prolly planned to from the start  now my soul it must embark on the climb out from the dark. Even though our page is gone another chapters' coming along. Ill stay strong it won't be long. Another day.

Love can hurt you, but it can feel so good at the same time. But when it ends, or someone you love hurts you, it hurts a thousand time worse than if someone else you don't really love said or did the same thing. We give that power to people over us. We surrender ourselves and make ourselves vulnerable only because we expect the person we are surrendering to will not ever hurt us . Those feelings have roots that run deep inside of the fabric of who we are. Sometimes the roots will take hold, and when the other person waters them, and cares for them, it turns to the most beautuful thing you could ever imagine. But when its neglected, and abused, the same thing that was beautiful is now poisoned, and like I said the roots run deep. You can feel like a completely different person when you're with someone. Just more confident and happy. But the same person can make us feel so horrible about ourselves. Why do we give this power over our emotions to people? Is it because we feel like we have that same power over them?

Ive tasted your poison, been burnt by your touch. The memories stay, the feelings to dust. I was never a saint but neither were you. I'm on to be better, and thats without you.

Im blind, trying to love someone who is deaf. They don't hear me, and I don't see it. All I know is I can taste when they feel it.

Im not the same person I was yesterday.  I just keep on changing day after day. Some days I'll be happy just to see the sun rise, on bad days those beauties never come to my mind. Im living in madness my mind as a cage. I'm learning to bend it, I'm changing the pages. But one day I'll run out and they'll be digging up my grave.

The time keeps on ticking, the cage grows much smaller. The walls are pressing in on my medualla oblengata.  I try to escape it, I thought that I made it. I realize Im stuck here, I can't push much further. Once I see through it there is nothing to it. Its all an illusion, a self built institution. Its your life so own it, repair it and mold it. See through all the madness, cut out all the bad fruits..

Im searching for a reason why,
I tilt my head up to the sky
Tears run slowly down my cheeks
I fall down onto my knees.

I beg and plead to empty space.
How did I get to this place?
It's dark and cold inside my mind.
But deep inside a flame resides.

The light that guides me has grown dim
Every day I live in sin
Im trying now to make things better
Where to start, its all a battle.

Im lost and scared, I dont know why
Now I'm screaming to the sky.
Is it my fault how people treat me
For no reason when they first meet me
Im trapped inside my mortal tomb
Ever since Ive left the womb.

I used to cry for moms attention
Now these tears just cause desention
Im falling down and staying there.
It's all my fault for being here.

I want something to spark my soul.
Make me forget that I'm old.
Keep my mind preoccupied
I need to find those sunny skies.

I know what's needed to get better
It wont be easy there will be pain
I need to see it to the end.

There's only so many thoughts, but let me tell you there are lots.

I see the evil in the world. I try to pretend it doesn't exist. I feel your thoughts I can taste your hate. The best I can do is fix myself and hope you follow my footsteps. You act so righteous like you know it all. I can see you soul has fallen far. A break from life is what I need I'm getting weak I can not breath. All these things inside my head, only gone the day im dead.

We are all lost
Thats the way I feel
Giving and taking with no know costs
Thats the way I feel
Taking things we never own
Thats the way I feel
Life will one day disappear
Thats the way it is.

I tried to not get feelings but I got them anyhow.
My heart beats uncontrollably whenever you're around.
The power you have over me when your eyes connect with mine.
These feelings that you give me I have never felt inside.
I tried to not get feelings but I got them anyhow.
Whenever I am with you I can't help but to just smile.
I hope that someday soon we can hang out for awhile.
I tried to not get feelings but I got them anyhow.
You make me want to feel things that would normally make me scared.
Its starting to feel like maybe my heart might be repaired. 
All I know for sure is that I truly care.
Im opening up doors that have been closed off awhile.
Its something in the way you talk and laugh with your cute smile.
Its something I can't get enough I treasure every bit.
Take my hand and go with me lets make this world ours.
I will build a throne for you next to it I will sit.

Theres times when I feel tiny in this great big massive world. Its times like these i wonder if you all will hear my words. Or am i writing nonsense just to ease my mind. These are the things I think about all the ******* time. It doesnt matter much to me to matter much at all. But sometimes I will wonder if my voice is heard at all. Am I screaming into darkness not an echo to be heard? Or is there someone listening who needs it in their world. I guess ill never know for sure what impact i may have. People might not read these words until after I am dead.

All that we have is each other, so lets all start acting like brothers. Learn how to forgive one another. Lets make OUR 'Home' 'World' like no other.

No one is going to save me. I will surely die alone. I feel a tightness in my throat, and tears well up in my eyes. A sinking feeling in my chest, they say that I'm depressed. I say my life's a mess. There are no words to comfort me when my mind is in this place. Im blankly staring onward, directly into the void. The cuts are never deep enough and the whiskey never works. My friends can not begin to know how much I really hurt. I keep my thoughts all to myself, you'd never understand. I dont know how I got here there were days i wasn't sad. Life will one day vanish and ill lose everything I had. Im trying to get better but I guess its not that bad.

Nothing lasts for good,
Time takes over once you're gone,
Take it while you can.

You can say too much sometimes, sometimes not enough.

Its hard to remember that the things that i know, are not public knowledge, I've spent years on this road. I try to relate and to find understanding, in the ways that we love, and the ways that we handle stress. Its not all sunshine and rainbows, some days it will rain. There is no escaping the trials and pain. We have nothing to lose though, we only can gain, experience and wisdom that comes with the years, some of its paid through struggles and tears. To know what its like you'll be sitting rock bottom, it will teach you a lesson that wont be forgotten. The only way out is by engaging in actions, that push you straight forward, no time for relapsing. Just one small step gets you out of the mess, after you're up youll have time to assess, the current situation on top of your plate, don't wait to long youll be sealing your fate. With each step away from the cold hard rock bottom you'll start beginning to learn to be happy with what youve got, even if its not a lot.

I can't give you my heart its all guarded up tight. I won't deal with the screaming the yelling the fighting, I can't give you my heart but i can give you my love, I know its confusing but that's how i run. Its not worth it to fall for me I promise you that. Ill just break your sweet heart and leave you like that. Ill help you
out as much as I humanly can, I know its cliche but Im only one man.

Love tugs hugs, you shrug

Pain makes it rain, im insane

Now I'm all alone
Again

I see the fear of being forgotten. Why do we want to be remembered? Does it give our lives more meaning to feel like people wont forget us? Why do we care what happens after we die? Will our life be meaningless if people dont remember who we were? One day we all are forgotten here. Do you remember your great great great grandparents? Is there anyone alive today who does? Dont let that scare you. We all have to leave this place eventually.

It was funny but I didn't laugh, not even a smile cracked. My hearts been strangled my mind is mangled, I use drugs to escape. Slowly burning holes inside me i am feeling old and down. maybe its this town. The drugs are easy girls ****** I am sick of this. Incapeable of love now I've ****** around and broke down. I can't seem to find purpose this life does not seem worth it. I hope to soon feel better and remeber how to smile.

Time keeps passing by,
Someday soon ill die,
Might as well get high,
Live this life and die.

We are getting all this stuff,
That we can not bring with us,
Living for the wealth and lust,
Someday soon we'll all be dust.

It doesn't matter, where you're from,
We're all children, under the sun,
When Death comes, you cannot run,
Try not to worry, have some fun.

Seconds, minutes, hours, days
All these words are human made
What does life mean anyways?
No ones written the last page.

As the world turns round i stand here still. Waiting, thinking , wondering. I wonder what life will bring in the coming years. I have many hopes and I have many fears. I try not to succumb to the thoughts flooding in, they tell me im worthless, they remind me of sins. I push all that aside and try focusing forward. if i have learned anything its that nothing is certain. At any one moment god could pull the big curtain. I try looking ahead but my vision is blocked. The worry sets in I when i notice the clock. Time isn't waiting for any of you. Get off of your ***** start making some moves. Start getting prepared to be living alone. Nothing is certain and time makes us old.

Im sorry that I messed up, called you names and made you cry. These emotions can be too much, for me to keep inside. I honestly do love you, but your feelings aren't the same. Its things like this that happen, that make me go insane. I know it shouldnt matter if you love me or you don't. But really I can't help to feel that I'm inadequate.

Winter moonlight shining bright,
Stay inside with me tonight.

Lets get lost in conversation,
Say what we think no hesitation.

Tell me things about your life
That make me want you as my wife.

Our time is short the night burns fast
Why do good things never last?

When you show your heart to me
Beauty is the only thing I see.

Please my dear don't go away
Stay with me here another day

The way you are, lives on way longer than you live.