My stomachs feeling twisted and its flipping inside out. Either my heart is sinking low or its coming out my mouth. Hands are shaky feeling spacy dont know how I really feel. Im praying up to god that I see life to next year. This **** is getting old i think I must be going nuts. Its a sickness i cant get rid of I will have it til Im dust. I won't bother with specifics its too much ******* pain. In the end it doesn't matter we all leave our brains. I just hope that soon my life will find a better place. Either that or I just might leave the human race

My true strength hides within. In the deep crevices where shadows can get in. Only when I test myself can I find where the limits lie. If I want to grow I've got to push myself harder and higher, never giving in to my earthly desires. When will I finally know what I came here to learn. When will i finally be ready to teach others the wisdom I've earned. Each and every day Im striving to be better, pushing the limits and breaking the boundaries. I promise you this, im not who you thought. In my short time I have learned a lot. Out on the surface you see what I am, just a man whos measly existence seems without a purpose. But the surface is deceiving, there's layers you'll never know.

As i journey into the abyss, I think about what i will miss, family and friends, but memories the most, because without them who am I but an empty host. The things i held to tightly quickly stolen swept away. No one ever told me it would be my very last day. I always knew it was coming but i could never have prepared. The end is nearing closer. Just know I love and cared.

I don't think i can change the world, but I wont let that stop me from trying. Its dangerous, once you start using the tools you're supplied with. Everything I do, I try thinking of all of you, how you feel deep down, how the things that I say are affecting you. The way you live, and the things that you say, have effects that live on way long after your body decays. So the way I live and the things i say, are only out of love and craziness.

Every day when i wake up, I am thinking bout what i can do, things to make you happy, just to be sure youre pulling through. When I see you feeling empty, inside I feel the same. I don't know how to explain this, but I truly feel your pain. It matters that your happy, for my own mind to feel fine. I know that its not fair, but I depend on your smile. Without it I feel empty, dark and cold you hold my fire. I hope you understand, that i loved you sweetie pie.

Honey id die to love you, I miss the way you held my hand, how you said that i would always forever be your man.  Now all of it feels so empty. What ever happend to our plan? I can't help it but to think that all of its a sham, now its gone, all along, with every other thing related to you, who would think that id ever say, that it would be better off this way, maybe there will come a day, where I wont be missing you.

The days seem cold and lonely, now that you have gone. I wish that i had maybe tried, to stop before you were gone. But i was kinda selfish, took our love for granted babe. Now all that I have left of you, is the memories that we made

I try to be a good man the best way that i can. Helping out the human race is my master plan. The words you say will ripple, affecting so much more, than the person you are talking to, once they leave your door.

Only you can do something to change how we function, the goal is to grow and teach people more. If you could try listeneing to everyones ******* youd see what we all have in mind. Its time to change something this **** isn't functioning. The system is broken down bad. And you dont see why people are mad? Please. The issues go deep inspect and you'll see theres answers in front of your face. Its clear to me why we disagree, our hearts are not in the same place. Im trying to help, you're screaming and yelling and telling me to go to hell. When all i am doing is trying to do **** to better this planet we share. And further than that when blue fades to black the future is no longer ours. It must be passed on so let's get along and make it a much better place. The kids will inherit more than just the planet they pick up on our disagreements. The fight will not end until we defend each other no matter our flag. The worlds not so big when you live in your head and you truly can see why we are here. Its not to gain money now that is just funny you think you can buy endless life? We're here to experience to love and to fix things and to work for a better tomorrow. So next time you see someone in pain and struggling do what you'd want them to do if it wasn't them struggling but you. I hope that you see now that love is the answer to anything life throws your way.

It just me and my beagle trecking through the woods. His nose it to the ground and my eyes are on the trees. Im looking for some mushrooms yeah im kind of crazy. My beagles name is Leo and he's surely my puppy. Every where i go he is there right next to me. I love the smells and feeling of being in the woods, the feeling is so liberating the sights the smells the touch. The air is somewhat different than the air you breath inside, you might call me crazy, but it really gets me high. The birds they sing the squirells chirp the deer tails flick when fleeing. Everything around me occurring naturally. I lose my self and feel free when I'm outside in the woods. I found my favorite past time just out walking with my dog.

I dont know if I can pretend, to be the guy that holds your hand, anymore, right now. The things i said that didnt matter, changed the way I thought of you, I know it all seems kinda messed up but I'd never do wrong to you. I can't act like you didn't hurt me, you scarred me way down to my core. You had my heart in the palm of your hand girl and you dropped it right down on the floor.
I wont hold on any longer to the memories that we made, I'm a fool to think that you loved me, ive never felt more betrayed. I will pack my **** and leave town, start fresh somewhere new. Somewhere nobody knows me as the guy who's been running round town with you.
Kinda funny how it ended with you stabbing me in the back. Never saw it coming though gotta at least give you that.
Things will never be the same. I gotta get you outta my brain. cause all your causing me is pain. I wont ever be the same.
I need to find my will to wake up and move on far away from the pain. But my lifes been cold and empty, now that you've gone away. I can't keep waiting for the answers I have to start searching on my own. Soon it will be clear that I can get through my life alone. I dont need you by my side. When i said i did I lied. Girl I thought you were the one. But all you thought of me was fun. It's ok i understand you must have found a better man. Not like I didn't treat you right. Always let you win the fights. Now Its cold and hard but here it is. Go **** yourself you stupid *****.

All of these nice pictures are stored up inside my head. I look at them and wonder will i see them when im dead. These thoughts are never ending and, the answers not for sure. Life is one big mystery and we're all invited to the show.

All I do is give, and all they do is take. Is this life I live, bound to be my fate? Or is there something more, when will I receive, the love that i keep giving everyone I meet. Its starting to get harder to wake up and be glad, this life that I am living is starting to make me mad. I try so hard for nothing, the results I can not see. Its love I'm holding out for, but my time keeps passing me. I hope that someday someone will spark inside of me, those emotions that i long for very desperatly. I will give my love out unconditionally. I wont let this world take that away from me. So give and expect nothing, just pass along the love. Lets make this world better i fear it is our job.

There's things I think about that i never turn to words. Inside there is a dialogue that tells me what should be heard. When I speak ive played it out and guessed what will come next. I dont know why but Im feeling like my minds a ******* mess. I guess that it's a problem that i probably should address.

Seeing a smile on a strangers face has a way that makes me grin. Knowing there is happiness in places ive never been. To think that there are people that I will never meet, puts things in perspective and makes me really think. There isn't time to ponder on if I should wave or not. Might as well just say hello, and give them a head nod. You never know who needs it, some peoples worlds are dark. That smile that you give them just might be the light to spark, a feeling deep inside of them, that the worlds not so dark. You might just save their life today you might just make their week. I guess youll really never know what strangers you may touch.

Most people want to understand. On our path to understanding we like to think we understand. But no one searches to understand while thinking they understand. So we all must try to understand. Never stop pursuing understanding.

You asked me if i was lonely, depends on what you really mean. There are times when i feel sadness, when youre not here  with me. When we spend our time together you make me feel so warm and alive, my soul has found just what it craves, when I look into your eyes. I know youd never hurt me on purpose or for fun. I guess that this is what they meant when they said id find true love.

Is love a feeling in your gut or is it something more? Is it pain and suffering to keep you wanting more? Will I feel like crying when you leave and slam the door?   Or will you tell me its ok and pick my heart up off the floor? Will we scream and hate each other after just one fight? Or will you always have my back until we leave this life? I just want to know right now is it worth the pain to try? Cause i find you very beautiful I could see you by my side. I wanna feel true love right now more than just the butterflies inside. Ive thought I found the one before and it turned out to be a lie. I owe it to myself to try at least just one more time. I don't want to leave this life with no one by my side.
So i will take a chance with you, and see where it takes me, I want a story that seems like make believe. Something more to life, I want to live my fantasy, with you by my side, this love I feel is crazy.

I put my thoughts up on the wall, so you all can see my struggle, know that you are not alone, even when you're on your own. I can feel the pain inside you, i can see what's on your mind.

Sometimes life does not seem fair but know nothings guaranteed. You spill your heart out hoping, that someone will receive, all the love inside of you, and return it as you give. But love is not as easy to find as its to give. Be a gift to the world and have love unlimited.

We all have our struggles and our hopes and aspirations. You are not alone in any of these endeavors. Just keep your course and stay true without a hint of hesitation. I promise you youll pull through, this life will soon get better.