At first I was frightened
Unable and blue
My dream overshadowed the truth about you
Though sensing a danger
That made me loose sleep
I wouldnt believe that the cliff was this steep

But thank God you blew it
You couldnt lay low
Your greed cleared the sight and it ended the show
My rage broke me loose and I
Cut all our ties
You know I have never been good with goodbyes

And now when the dusts's clear
I see what I lost
That all that you gave me was tied to a cost
Your love was a mirage
Your face never true
And my dream was not ever dependent on you

Its not enough to say you love me
If you get anoyed at who i am
Its not enough to pull me closer
If you let go when i need you to stay
Its not enough to say were soulmates
If you disagree with all i say

Its not enough what you did gave me
Compared to what you took away

Vi kom så långt
Men tog oss ingenstans
Vi hade allt
Nu har vi inget alls
Du kom helt nära
Men lät mig inte in
Du var min framtid
Och jag var din

Ekot av vår förlorade framtid
Är helt öronbedövande
Det paralyserar mig
Tystnaden av din röst river i mina lungor
Avsaknaden av dina varma händer
Värker i min hud
Vi hade allt så nära
Allt vi inte vågat hoppas på
Du skulle bli pappa till mina barn
Och nu
Nu svider minnet av din bruna blick
Som kanske aldrig mer
Kommer möta min

I don't always like the summer
All the lightness makes me ache
It intensifies the lonely
And reminds me how to break

I am not a fan of sunshine
It exposes every scar
With brighter days that stretches wide
I'm longing for a star

I avoid the summer evenings
The aliveless makes me weak
Opportunities that's passing by
I hide away and shrink

For I do not mind the darkness
It's a shield against your eyes
The cold let's me wear layers
Keeps me safely in disguise

the wound is unfathomable
still open wide

i thought it finally started to heal
suddenly i find myself bleeding again

i cannot bare this pain
if only i knew what it meant
if i understood it, i could heal it
but i never managed to understand this

me'elek?
mish hader
ana mish hader

i cant do this. i cant go back here again. its way to deep, to painful, to fresh.

i dont know how to let it heal
i dont know if i should open the door wide or smash it closed
i dont know which one i would regret the most

I can't handle it
After all these years
I can't handle you
The pain, the dreams, your scent

I can't believe it still lingers
the warmth of your skin
The scent of your perfume
Your voice in my head

I thought you were finally fading
Turns out I only pushed you away
Put layers of other things above you
Thought I could finally deal with you

You came back
Without a warning, just like that
From normal to not being able to sleep
From nothing to feeling you in all of my dreams

I can't handle this
I don't know how to do it

It's the same intensive longing
I miss you so much it really hurts
Im afraid you're ill or married
I'm terrified you got a kid
Without me
I can't even think about the possibility that you may no longer be alive

I need the door to be open
Cannot explain why
I can't have it wide open and I can't bare if it's closed
It just needs to be ajar
Possible for me to open when i need to
But not wide open because I still don't understand what I feel for you