He sobbed with a look of depression and wept hopelessly,
The sky was
A dark, melancholy blue
He felt dejected and disappointed

She said he felt lost

She felt sullen,
Seeing the loneliness
Sweep across his features

His heart compressed within his chest,
Tears fell from his eyes as he tried to tear his heart from his rib cage
Knowing he’d always be a failure

She sobbed while holding back tears,
Never looking back at his crumpled figure.
The sky was a midnight blue
And she knew they would never be the same.

Nothing for these strangers would ever be the same,
For she had broken both their hearts
And he had not the strength to hold all the pieces

The black sky stretched above them
Like velvet, stars scattered across its surface

He wept

She walked away

He crumpled

She sobbed

He suffocated

She drowned

Their red string frayed and decayed
While the moon sat high among the stars
Illuminating their crumbling world

It's strange to feel
so empty
My mind draws a blank
when I need a thread of clarity
Denying the relief that
comes with hearing my own thoughts

I found myself stranded on
Neverland
with no way to fly
and no star to show me the way
'till one night
as I closed my eyes
a shadow appeared and a boy
close on his heels
they tumbled and rolled before my feet
Boy and Shadow became one
and grinned at me
"Peter Pan"
he said to me
playing a tune
and swore he just wanted
to talk for a while

Laying amongst the tiger lilies
I so adored and staring up at the stars
He asked me to be his
When I asked why he simply replied
"I once saved you from
Captain Hook."
"I’ll keep you safe."
"I promise you’ll never be lonely.”
Foolishly, I agreed
and he took me to his
Hiding Tree
where spiteful Tinkerbell
tried to be rid of me
for I was Self-Composed, Human & Withdrawn,
everything she was not.
He taught me how to fly,
showed me every nook and cranny
of his world by moonlight.
And I fell in love
with the way, his eyes shone like fireflies
and his pure and genuine laugh.
He was enthralling
and magnetic
always so carefree
and reckless

How wonderful it was

'Till Wendy bird came along
for she was Kind, Romantic & Empathetic
everything I was not
all I could do was watch
as they flew through Neverland
by moonlight
She fell hopelessly in love
with his recklessly playful nature
and hypnotic charms

Yet every night
Wendy gazed down
to see the girl
with the crow feather in her hair
laying amongst the flowers she was named
with Tinkerbell by her side.
Whenever she asked Peter why
he simply replied
“She is as Wild as she is Beautiful.
She cannot be contained
by the hollow walls of my Hiding Tree
Nor the boundaries of her village."

Then one night
when Wendy bird left
and Peter returned to Hangman’s Tree
he found Tiger Lily gone.
Every night he’d fly above
Neverland
only to glimpse
her crow feather
but all he found was an empty space
belonging
to her ghost
whispering
"Peter Pan
Take my hand and fly away
to Neverland
where the beast
within
can be free"

Tinkerbell never did say where she’d gone
only to leave her be.
Her wild beast no longer had a home.

Peter Pan
would never see her again
He had broken his Lily's heart

I can’t do this anymore
something has to change

I love you
I miss you
and I never meant to hurt you

I won’t say I’m sorry
because isolating myself
is the best thing
I’ve ever done for me
I’m finally getting to know myself again
and now I know why
I was never happy

The thing is
I was too caught up with
you and your messes
to realize
I was beginning to unravel
from the inside out

I was too busy making sure
everyone else
got their own happy ending
that I forgot
who I am
and what I needed

Now I realize
I needed
more

I need someone
to remind me to breathe
to step away
keep my sanity
stitch myself together
and bleed my own sorrows

Everything
you are, resided in me
everything
they needed flowing in my
veins
every dream
slept in my heart
and yet
everything
that I am was
nowhere to be found
and I can’t be that again

So this is goodbye
to the girl I used to be
and sleepless nights
worrying about
tomorrow’s sorrows
wishing
I could take the pain away
'til one day
I did
and never stopped
I whittled myself away
until I was nothing
without the pain plaguing you
and those around me

I became addicted
to ******* the pain out of you
and into me
inflating myself back to life
just so you wouldn’t disappear
I never showed it but
I was slowly
going insane
always needing more pain

You always said
I never wanted stability
and you were right
because if everything was alright
I had no clue who I was
and I couldn’t
fill myself back to life

Ya know I spent most of my life being
Ignored and forgotten.
At first I was bullied about my height
and ears and
just about everything else.
And then I built a wall and a mask
so that everyone would think I didn’t care
and it worked for awhile.
In fact it still does.
But the thing is I got angry
and I made it so
Nobody would dare say a word about me.
I was left alone
and that was fine by me, but
at the same time
it consumed me, became all I had.
And I guess you could say
I was lost at that point.
I had no friends,
a terrible relationship with my family,
I barely slept or ate, my grades were horrible.
All I had was my anger,
my walls, my mask, my thoughts
and myself.
I hated that.
But it's what I needed.
Because without my darkest parts
I would never be able to
appreciate my better half and the person I’ve become.
Yet it’s my darkest parts
I always seem to turn to for comfort.
It’s always been my default,
something to protect me I suppose.
But I am so sick and tired of being ignored.
So I made it impossible to ignore me.
Because being ignored and forgotten was the
one thing I couldn’t,
still can’t stand.

Just a snippet of my life
as if that would
Unravel
my being
But I am not made of a
single snippet
that molded me
I am many snippets
pieced together
to create a vast and flowing river
of memories and experiences
that defined me
I am made of many molds
and countless masks
scars buried beneath my bones
and secrets burning through my veins
I am not a single person
but many
I have not one voice
but a million
all merging and melding and overlapping
each other
for just one word
my demons and angels carry
pieces of my whole
I am a puzzle
that no one knows
quite how to put together
there is no answer key
no guide
just my broken scars
and fractured memories