Your name is the last thing i think of at night.

Your name is the first thing on my lips in the morning.

I wish you could be mine, just one last time.

Today I was a ghost.
I was wandering the crowded halls on school as I was a ghost.

No one seemed to notice me. I was invisible.
Or at least in their eyes.
I didn't talk. Why bother talking when they don't understand your language.
I was just there.
Just a person, who nobody cared if even was alive.

I was air between the people.
I was like a ghost.

A ghost with a beating heart and a messy mind.
My voice was on mute. Everyone thought I was shy.
But id they had seen my mind, they would see I was loud and clear.

So... Guess I have a super power. Being the awkward ghost.
You can only see me when I make mistakes. And thats often, but not always.

Im alone with friends, or alone with myself.
The only friend I have is the dark shadow, it follows me.
Everywhere.
In the classroom or birdcage as I like to call it, everyone sees me as an outcast. A person who isn't all black and white, and see-through.
So instead of making noise for no reason like they do, I draw, write, think.
Thinking of my future. The future behind this space.
Where my shadow and I are not longer a couple.
Where I actually have friends, different like me.
Where Im not a no one.
In a another future where Im me.
And that's good enough.
So yeah Im a no one.
A ghost wandering these halls, the cafeteria, the bus, and my home.
But this ghost think more than you will ever understand.

I may not be as beautiful as a rose,
smart as a professor
or
have a big talent.
All  I have is my deep thoughts, deep like my soul.

And that is more than enough more me.

I have an issue.
Im an addict. No, not to any thing illegal or alchol.
But Im an addict to run away from the reality.
To watch my movies and tv shows, is like a portal to a total different world.
Where I live many lives. I have other problems. And the reality is on pause.

Where I can breath out, and just be another me.
Where all my problems are washed away.
I tell people is like dreaming with open eyes.
And it is really something magical.
When I see through the screen someone drowning, I hold my breath.
I live in the screen. Im an addict to the thousands lives out there.
I just want to feel, experience something without being so afraid all the time..

So yeah call me an addict if you want.
But its what keeping me alive.

Clouds.
Fluffy, light and soft.
Beautiful to watch.
Blue skies, everything are a delight.

One moment after....

Clouds.
Dark, scary and grey.
Dark clouds, everything are going to hell...

Thunder, lightning are the dark clouds friends.

You stare in too my eyes, like its no one else in the world.
You kiss my lips, like its the last time.
We dance all night, until the sun comes up.
We live in the moment, by every minute that goes by.

I live in your heart, and you live in mine.
Lets keep this a secret, just you and I.

Then I woke up, It was all just a dream.
In the reality, Im a nobody, and you don't see.

In the classroom, every noise, every sound just dissepear.
When I get that look. That look on something, and my thoughts wander around in my brain. Thinking about everything and nothing at the same.

That look, who cancel all sound. I dissepear in my own world, and loose control over my reality. What did you say teacher? I could'nt hear you.

I got that look. I dozed off in to wonderland. I came home, with wonderful ideas, but I could'nt care less about your math.

She is sitting in the classroom, staring outside the window and daydreaming.

She is thinking about how the rain is.

Rain doesnt make a sound until it hits the ground.

She is thinking that maybe all the angles in heaven is crying when its rain.

My body is floating on the ocean, and my foot is tied to a heavy box.
The heavy box is all my dark thoughts, and my depression.
It dragging me down, under the water.
I feel sometimes I get strangled by my own words.
I will not tell a living soul my darkest thougts. Because that is a sign of weakness.

So under the water I go. The box dragging me further and further down.
I can't breath.
I try to untie my self, but it's to hard.
Why do I have to have this box?
Why?
The people who know me says everyone have a box like that.
But they don't understand how it is to hate yourself so freaking much.

That your biggest enemy is yourself.
That this box is holding you down.
That you can't just untie the know and everything will just be fine.
And you can't say anything because then you will drown.

Wake up from the short minute of sleeping I got, like always.
Go to school like always, meet the same people.
They talk almost about the same ****, everyday. Im tired of it.

Im tired of the same thing, over and over again. My mind is so noisy, but my mouth is so quiet and soundless.
Some people even think Im not capable of using my mind and put what I think into words, that I have to scream. Scream loud enough.
Because no one, would even care if I shared my thoughts.
They would go on with theirs same routines, same ******* like always.

So why bother? I go to school, everyday. I don't see the point of it at all.
I feel it's something everyone get's forced to go too.
But another day is here, and Im still here.

I look outside the ***** window on the bus.
Everything goes so fast, and so slowly at the same time.
So much to do all the time. To make the reality better.
But since we work every second, we never see the simplicity of treausrues in the everyday.

Like how elegance a leaf is dancing silent, or how the sun light touch the leafs and it looks like gold.

No, we don't see that. We only see all we have to do. Homeworks, get a job, get a better house, travel and all that.

But take a second and just breathe. You are still alive.

They think Im lazy,
They say Im boring,
They think Im tired,
but the truth is that I have no places to go.
My only escape is sleep or a movie.
For awhile I can forget everything and be someone else.

As a I stand still, waiting the time.
My eye catches something high in the air.
It is something simple like single leaf, dancing on the waves of air.

One day Im gonna show all the people who has let me down.
All the people who said I could not do it.
All the people who just said it was a silly little dream
All the people who crushed my dream, and it crushed my hope.

I had too believe in myself, and you will see.
One day. One beautiful day.
You will see.

Me on the top of the mountain
With my dream and my ever lasting hope.
I did it without all you negative people.
I did it.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.
Can't you see that you are killing me.
Because of what I see.
I can't believe this is me.
I hate you mirror, to show that this is the actual me.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.
You are killing me, with showing the monster I have become.