shocked when i realize it's not fictitious i'm vicious, vindictive
not that i have a choice in this
woke up on the anniversary of a massacre
broken up but still can't stay mad at her
can't spit venom from my lips at the girl with those lips i once kissed
but i can seethe at the thought of who she replaced me with
woke up this morning it was raining on the 'tines
mind filled with bitter twisted lines
"i'll **** him if they kiss in the rain"
threw the thought away so it wouldn't show om my face
put a face on the same way i was replaced

contrary to what one would expect by name
watching goosebumps makes me laugh

I can't be apathetic,
frantic, engulfed in the hectic,
overtaken by stasis,
stuck in this tantric,
****** by life position.

ANd i tiptoe to the edge,
looking both backward and forward,
wondering which direction i go,
will i explode?
am i already, is ..is...
this...ohhh my God, what the **** is happening ..is this,
is this it?

But if i sit here,
maybe it won't end.
Maybe i can hold onto the pleasure...
I end with the release
I live with  the questions,
what was it worth?
can i create something worth anything?

time is money
because its current, see?
I would pay you or get payback
but i dont have time currently
i would settle my debts without dollars and cents
it makes no sense
that no one is with me right now

I might rail, might take the wrong road
might, fail, to hear the morse code
throw pennies on the tracks and hope to make a change
flip switches to trick attentions
i guess i may have another track intended
may be making people notice only things im okay with them not missin
maybe give them my name and not much else,
pass by and remember that train kids dont need much help
(they could always help themselves)

but lets get real

i could turn a dollar into more
change if a quarter was worth for names
asked from people,
stories, i could give them two
for each way
life has treated them like it's treated you
i could feed them once with no fast food
in sight, I, could
invest, gamble, roll the dice
and expect more than crap when i
first, not second, give them even a second of my life

disregard my self inflicted fun,
forget my little ticks and triggers, and tricks ive rendered,
signifigant
lay down my hands, they quiver, and sweat, im shivering,
im not serious enough to hold a gun to
my own head, not hungry enough to
make someone else eat lead

i could help find hope where its lost because the truth there is lacking
speak life in the streets where people are cracking
and stumbling home to slum thrones,
garbage cans the only thing theyve got to sit on,
to **** in,
their pillows only hard times and peoples harsh tones,
dreams gone, face down, can only see grime and cobblestones
shaped like the next **** day
and moving on
again,
less than a fox theyve got no hole,
but we all act like they just shoudlve known
better, than to set out on their own,
like we're less broken and more whole

we should speak hope,
but no.

it might rain, we might get soaked
undoubtedly there will be pain,
and there's never enough soap,when we
shake the hands of those hobos

we are tired of looking for something different with the same hints,
tired of looking for new colors with different hues
theyre still the same people, must be the same clues, ignore them,
theyre even all wearing ruined clothes,
they havent sobered up or dried out,
theyre worth about  as much dryer lint
you want to argue?
okay, no. ****.
thats what you meant.


when it comes to whats current, whats common
we say why not stay soaking wet
why not flow with the currents, and sink to the bottom,
well, as you wish,
forget change, we'll throw ours in fountains when we visit malls
i was there yesterday, it didnt cost me a thing.

we say
why not remember
that money more often than not brings rage and riches, rags on people til they need stitches
spikes need and hunger and breeds unscratched itches,
but it can pay for needles and
women lay on their back for a ruble,
a nickel, swallow the bitter truth just like...well... um
let's just say
not one of us cares about em

sadly i think it's us whove lost our scruples,
is that what theyre calling it nowadays?

why not scratch them anyway?
why not always wear the trends that fade?
become the thing that fades, to gray?
away...
why not say
okay?

I can’t write a limerick for crap
Now I want a mocha Joe frap
But burger king is far
As most fast food joints are
And now I don’t have time for a lap

I'm asking questions like im socrates
and of course the answers aren't a shock to me
I'm asking for solidity
but not a single thing in this life has rigidity
It all don't mean nil to me, it's foolish to be
caught up in this world you'll see
the world is dying, all will pass away, we have not forever, we may not have a day
we are just a wisp, a vapor, the fading sound of a once struck chord
even i am only shattered metaphors
pieces of paper fluttering and torn
i hear their inky voices as they mutter and they mourn
there is near to nothing left of me anymore
i am only broken bits of poetry
smashed and spit on paper
I am only sickly similes, a sadly spoken satire
like wandering ghosts of memories and meaningless dreams
like meaningless hopes and desperate screams it seems
like things have taken a turn for the worse
and i may soon end up
in a homemade handwritten paper hearse
strangled by my verses
flayed alive by words then
left to wander wordless
my meaningless words have begun to haunt me, daunt me, it's daunting
and this is not me
I am not some needy scrap of paper waiting to be filled
I am a notebook half-filled with half-finished lines of half-realities
I am a dying man screaming at the top of my lungs as they are shattering
as i am torn apart by the desires of my own heart
It falls apart as i metaphysically massacre me
I blatantly
snip apart the seams of sanity and reality-what little few are left in me
i **** with words that flow from my pen
and then
I write for them revival
but my pen is low on ink and i think it's suicidal
It'll be a kamikaze even if i choose denial
and i don't know much but i know it's a vicious cycle
I dont know when it will choose to think
it's own end into existence
will it be, maybe
perfectly timed to persuade me,maybe
illogically, with all reason simply lost to me
that it chose to spit a little extra blood
a little extra ink
that it chose to save me from the next line i might make
just think, it might be more than i could take
it might break me, make me, mistakenly
the master of my own fate
This is death by poetry
rebirth by verse
If i write poetry again, will it be reversed?
not a revolution or evolution but
humanity
in words
this
is death by poetry

fine grained grit embedded in pale grey cement
wind over my skin, the grass is moving a bit
voices are just out of reach- whispering things
i just wish i could hear
suddenly the wind dies and slivers of words meet my ears
but only slivers
slivers of whispers
imbed themselves in my skin
thin pieces of word that i wish werent there
"i hate everything, don't talk to me"
It ******* kills me to hear

turn my talisman between my fingers
a ring, an eagle, with silver feathers
though tattered they are
most days i turn the tarnished bird to face me
for the strength, to soar on wings like eagles
today, i turn it away
not because i am unselfish
but because
i don't care enough to need it

To you
I want to be an open book
want you to pick me up, dust me off, take another look
But my pages haven't been traced in ages
not by fingertips or by faces

open me up
I don't care if you have to crack my spine
If that's what it takes to see through this cover o mine
then snap me open
and lace your fingers, let traces linger
over the calligraphy carved into my core
match the curve of my vertebrae
with questions that ask me if i am my metaphor

I have a plethora of pages, an abundance of euphemisms
inscribed into my essence, in a sense
I AM words
words that are not satisfied with being scanned
words with a hunger to be studies, syllogized
words that wish to be read over and eaten
by ravenous eyes and enfamished minds

Scour the syllables ensconced in me
etch and re-etch them with your pen
hold the precious print close to your skin
be a hungry page, and let the ink sink deeper in
I'll be a book and you be my scribe
look so close at my words that you lose sight of the divide
seek and discover
my heart inscribed
in every letter
every line

A tree whose roots lie deep within the earth
stabbed into the stone foundation of faith
a place of shadow - obscured and often miscalculated
whose leaves seek sunlight
and the warmth of glory
as they unfurl
from the trunk rooted in the past
from shadow to lightgrows the tree
especially when it catches fire

I beat my chest like it's an oaken door
praying you'll crumble it to dust on the floor,
You said knock and you would open,
and i have been stuck  placing my trust in the hope that
Youve never been hard of hearing, that
you can shatter skies and ceilings
when I am consumed by what I'm feeling
or left empty without any passion
If I saw my life flashing before my eyes
the essence of my vision and my cries
the substance that is my sunlight
spilling over from the crucible of life
Is your name, your face, and your price
You died, but you live
And I am like a well when I am well plugged in
i overflow with the tadbit tastes of you and my head spins
I explode from my chest in Joy that steals my sleep
But I am more rested in the morning than when I sleep for a week
Truth boils inside of me begging to spill out,
and my tongue takes up courage to love words, and sing again, and shout
My soul is freed in vulnerability
When I am undone and refuse to nourish fears out of self protective instinct
You remind me, that they ripped everything away from you
your clothing - even your skin -
your viscera seen by any who dare scan the skyline
Tagged to trees of terrible purpose and beauty
as clear as the sign that mocked you  and the crowds that did it
You love even those who resent it-
Love I mean -
Your are the realest thing that's ever been.

Forget the world
and hold my hand
all i know is that you're mine
that you're close to me
that there is no way i could ever deserve this
that you make me happier than anything
forget the world
lets keep making memories like these
until there is no more anything

I know that I will at times struggle for words…or even use too many to say too little.  Expect this. It is part of me. I will try to connect myself to the world, to circumstance, to people, with words. I attempt to stitch my fingertips to what I touch, see, and feel, with what I say. I attack with words. I defend with words. I seek, run, build and dismantle with words. There is sometimes in me a necessity for silence. But it does not come often enough. Why? It is because I fear it. I fear what silence means, because words are tangible, hey can be defined, put in boxes, made to be straight or curved, applied in context, and analyzed even for meaning separate of context. But silence? Silence can mean so many things.  There are clues with softer edges that require much more foreknowledge to obtain. Silence can be shaped by emotion into something in the mind of the beholder that it is not to the one who sits quiet. Words too can be misconceived, but with words, things are definable and misconception is almost always evident to one or the other. With silence, misconception is often left in ignorance. Both the silent and the listener are unaware of the other’s thoughts and intentions with silence. Silence is at least as powerful a tool as words.  They may both change the courses of lives. There is a time for silence and for speaking. But it is my mind which fails to know when silence is more necessary, because my mind almost by nature uses words to explain or ascribe meaning to almost everything and anything I experience.  See how long this single entry is? To explain words and their role and importance to me I am using words, because in my emotions, words are bridges, and silences are those bridges burning.  I am using words, but I will learn to use silence.

I've got a feeling that I say a lot less
than my words wish to or attempt to express
I am a catalytic for healing, revealing, and relieving our mutual distress,
but trust, I'm as broken or more than the rest,
and i have something to give but i'm not sure what that is, so,
I'll do my best to release each thing that is in my hands,
to align and realign my motives, to show and show again,
the only thing i know is
exactly what you need.
I will allow nothing,
horrific even or grotesque,
to make me leave,
because you are beautiful and beautifully addressed,
as a daughter of a king,
it is a privilege for me,
to be so barren,
in a way i am undressed,
I will fight my best not to be ashamed of everything i throw before your feet
emptiness unfurled, i will not fake comfort
but i pray i do not fear to cast my pearls,
after all, you are not filthy, nor swine,
but clean, and a girl.

I would know you.

there are two,
double, double,
me and you, standards look both ways
even when we are blind,
words meant to tell the truth and soften scars
only deeper grind
the salt into the wounds,
double double, there are two,
look at me and you.
I hope this changes soon.

rapture from my wrist
cold steel clinched in tight fists
not now, but maybe if it slips, if it slips
why can't i touch your lips? Whisper,maybe dance,
with a twist, with a twist
maybe a chance, maybe a kiss,
but for what, for this?
would i wreck it, all ive missed
for you? maybe once.
but not tonight, not with a tryst.

your craving for life is insatiable
i watch you
devour the sun
you
attempt to drink
entire storms
the entire horizon
with
the way that you tilt back your head and stretch out your arms

Perfume that makes me rememebr late nights in the backseat of your car
you knew this, and so you wore it three times, and i could smell it from afar
i caught it as i walked by even across the room,
and i was overtaken by images
images so easy to sink back into -
so easy to want when everything else is so hard to do
i missed these when i shouldnt
they werent mine but stolen
i dont hold onto them but they hit me
like your perfume in my face
They linger in faint traces
when you leave the room

A  toast, to insanity at the hands of love, to ridiculous helplessness that renders all else pointless, to two-way-ten mile bicycle rides in the darkest hour, with dogs snapping at your ankles and your parents possibly killing you in the morning, a toast, to insanity at the hands of love.

she shivered as she walked away
phone in hand
its light an ethereal wisp
surreal and hallucinogenic for lack of sleep
i followed because my phone was dead
i had to be sure she got inside
i had to be sure she was safe
she shivered as she walked away
and even though she says she doesn't know
if she loves me
the stars stared down at us thinking

that the creator had put on a puppet show to entertain them
that if they blinked they might miss something
i didn't want to blink
as the starlight of a single star
in a pale white glow
silhouetted her grin
"this is so unreal"
"even now, i can't help but think you are beautiful"
"if you didn't love me i would try to make you"
"there is no way, absolutely no way..i can't..i don't know what i'd do without you"
she shivered as she walked away
we would talk for hours the next day
this is only the beginning
you shivered as you walked away
i had to take my jacket back
but we both know why you shivered
... that undertone of feeling that
what had happened was meant to...
that night we'd relive in our dreams and daydreams countless times...why?
you shivered as you walked away.
the feeling that you love me
forced and kept silent-made you shiver
we both know why you shivered as you walked away

Do my words satisfy anyone?
Not you,not me.
Writing for satisfaction is not an option.
I write for expression.
For description.
For discovery,
For decryption.
For fantasy,
For religion,
For analogy,
For inscription.
For acknowledgement,
And for knowledge.
For rendition,
For depiction.
For sleep,
And resurrection.


The bloodrop and the teardop are kinded kin
even though you cannot see
they flow and frolic
within me
just beneath the surface
vermilllion and azure naids
enticing me
but hiding
just out of sight
in their shy playful naivete

every breath that comes is a sigh
i mean
when wrote it i thought it and then it dies
will a simple text my hope sinks lower than the floor
and i can't feel straight anymore
im scared out of my mind that this isn't returned
im worried silent that ill relive what I've learned
if i fall to the floor crying will you hear me?
but no, my instinct not to hurt you
by screaming at you that you have hurt me is my shackles
and i torture myself here as i listen to you and you are wordless
stuck, silent at the other end of the phone
while here i am thinking what if
what if she doesn't love me
i can't really breathe
im sorry for the pain this brings
forgive me

kiss me like Saturday
give me butterflies baby
shocked out of shyness by a single kiss
yes, i expected it to be electric
but i never expected this
intense
we let our passions flow
from our lips and fingertips
our vision is blurry and we're losing our grip
on reality
we're loving blindly
with our eyes closed
and when they're open
when we catch our breath
when i am above you staring down into your eyes
and you are below me gazing into mine
even though it's been hours
it's still like that first moment
when you kiss me like Saturday
i get
butterflies baby

butterflies,
butterflies baby
i need you
i love you insanely
you give me
butterflies,
butterflies baby

The moon is behind the clouds in the morning
but it is still there
still round
still looks like the moon.

Rat a tat , tap on a desk
Pentip raps and the beat is my heart in
my chest
Stuck sitting
I can't stand it
If writers were criminals you'd catch me
redhanded
Words smoothe like red silk and silky
black.velvet
Syllables Spilling from my lips and sounding
like sanskrit

Wrote this
just.to say that I could write it
But it doesn't Set my heart on fire because
empty words can't
ignite it

been about a dozen.days since my pen has touched a page
Thought I had a message to.send but I.don't have much to.say

why can't you just let me break for a minute,
i make this request but dont mistake what is in it
this is not weakness, this is not distress,
this is not that i am broken, i
am just tired and need rest, i mean
even princes get battlewounds it takes time to heal from
if they didnt they wouldnt be nearly as valiant.
even birds get broken wings and
take a little time to let the feathers shift,
back into place, let the barbs that they are hiding,
release to re-embrace,
even kings lose their lovers,
even blind men see pain,
even poor men hold jewels,
and they all look the same until,
you take a second
to take a second glance
sit a minute
to enter
and re enter a trance
an entrance to something more in a person
that you forgot about after that last second chance
simply because
the second second was last
you forgot just how to dance,
how to be free, how to wander,
and stay wondering,
how to ponder, and not fall under
the weight of all those pondwater thoughts
they go deeper than a, well, a lot deeper than a
pothole drop
and they can tend to suffocate you if you allow them to fill your veins
but when you realize that blood is ***** water
then you know you can be okay
because your thoughts become less murky,
perhaps a bit ironically
your glances more steady less jerky,
relax in your stability,
it't not always taking a step back
to take a step back,
sometimes thats
the true identity
of moving on
sometimes i think
that the sky is falling but
then i realize im upside down and
got disoriented while flying
forget the things that threaten to drown me
helpless to stop smiling
i will spend this time to tell you
i wont break,
but it's not for fear or shame of crying,
no, i am strong enough to do that, and that is more healing
than losing a piece of myself,
see, when i cry i leak away things i dont need,
loose currents and  torrents of saline
to bring back to life the dead things
that i buried without trying,
uncover beauty within myself
that i would have told you didnt exist, but,
i was just mistaken, not lying,
i believed every word i said when i said
that i wasnt worth the scars i carried,
that the burdens were too heavy,
that i needed your charity,
that i didnt need to be loved,
then i figured out that
i transcended my scars like i was the stars above,
magnificent in my strength
even by myself and
magnificent in my self love,
that i could accept your handouts but i never would rely on them,
that i could find comfort in your shoulders, that i might even cry on them
but i was never too weak, never to brittle,
never to broken, never too little.
so tonight I am a king,
even though my crown doesnt look like anything youve ever seen
it isnt gold or silver, isnt covered in jewels,
hell, its invisible, you might think im a fraud.
But i know what ive got.
I am a bird, even if ive got hollow or shattered bones
ive got wings even though ive got no home,
i can fly even if you dont believe me,
and, believe me i am not day dreaming.
i may be poor and blind,
but the value is in being visionary
ordinarily, in contradiction youd think
i lose myself, but i found myself there
i may be a prince whose spilled a little blood
but ultimately I am a man,
i can take whatever comes.

Brother
shake up like the Romans did
check for weapons
because even though i trust you to fight with me
you can trust me to commit treachery

You are not an object, you are a soul
encapsulated in the beautiful-
in a sense , the innocence you embody is heavy sent
but in this world it's a countdown like
eleven. . . ten. . .
dissolving as you appear as an object
**** your self out for the pleasure of the audience
It's tragic, wreaks havoc, it's intrinsically implied
the less you are true to the beauty that is you, the more your beauty is not reflected
is rejected, denied

Dragon awake ye, rise and ye may find
that dawn has had it's day, and night it lies behind
morning comes again and with it brings the sun
reminding us of flames, remembering we've done
all it takes to bank the ash, and to see our flames won
one day say we as we walk here in this wasted wood
lumber past the trees, see that though it's dark it's good
keep walking through and pass a pond that's feeding from a stream
fresh water midst the tangled trees - like brotherhood it seems
remember that though lone we walk - true in a sense or way
still with brothers by our side stand we loyal to this day
through many wars and battles fought and many won or lost
this bond 'bove blood has grown by bound, but at no little cost
the price we pay is loyalty and always standing firm
passing on wise words we've heard and lessons that we've learned
call each other on our bluffs and blindnesses, even on our weaks
stand up and with our armored hide, shield each other's breaks
that my strong may be your weak and your strong become mine
that together, we like dragons stride, armored every side
It is together we will war the world and win
defeating every enemy that raise or rise against
but battle foam may eager fly from our every scale
and fiery, painful, brutal be our battle against hell
but raise we with our talons true and truth held in our gaze
It is a noble war and one, that we chose to wage

Got silken silver scratches etched deep into my ring,
their lascivious lines lick up and down like an ecg
they match the beat of my heart when with kisses i am carefree
It says surrendered but it's a constant act of surrendering
I twirl it in circles
I realize it is not a shackle
I realize that it is protection
That in its silver and ebony reflection
I see a more beautiful picture of the future of this thing
That where the esses sliver into scratches of black at their edges
i trace my faith, my face with my eyes  in introspection
and where the three ees travel in between the other letters on the ring
there on the surface, its purpose is surfacing

not misunderstanding or deflecting
misdirecting or rejecting the facts
not one to deny when I'm wounded
confounded, just one to drown it in hot wax
created in a crucible and tipped back
****** down like coffee that's jet black
what you gave me to swallow
i forgive but can't forget that
This is an anthem of the silent
did you hear that?
I forgive you what you did but can't forget that.

floating on a cloud high above that lousy number nine tonight
never wanna come down- i just wanna hold you tight
there are so many times that words just dont do this justice
i think we need to forget our own flaws and just embrace this
see,
i dont see anything but beautiful
i dont feel anything but love
no matter what you do
i will never forget you
because im awake
and you're still what im dreaming of
a million words that i could type
but not  a single one is right
to perfectly describe or bring to light
just what it is i am trying to say
on this wonderful , indescribable day

I forgot she was broken
words left unspoken leave me stupefied
lost in confusion or lost in lies
the simple fact is on her face
she speaks, she sings, but there is no trace
in the silence

an amorphous entity
bubbles deep inside of me
writhes in what i am not sure
only pieces can i lure
into my view from outside in
an amorphous entity
the feeling deep within

In the beginning there was truth, unhindered and un-splintered
obvious and obviously good, remember?
then entered a serpent who'd had his ego injured
he spoke words more smoothe and sly than  eve's ears had ever heard

Speak Truth!

Since then the disharmony is harmin me
dissonance is dissin me in totality
breakin me apart my heart is split into
two - count em two- duality
******* the vitality right outta me
leaving me wounded and without a dynamic melody to sing in metaphysical reality

It's not just a fable see-
they're trying to change me, chain me
trying to tame me, train me

I AM BEING DOMESTICATED.
I am being transformed from the true but hated
into the shallow form of the antiquated
into little mix and match mutt, play nice, look better than ever, half true whole lie
source of more than a little disturbing shoe leather

I AM BEING WALKED ON.
I AM DONE.

Brightest
Finest
Sweetest
Softest
Standing there; the brightest, finest sight
Contemplates the sweetest, softest night

it's flattering in all the ways that i could fathom you could mean it
my seams, you have seen them,
and still you remember what they look like
it doesnt take me being talked into sending you naked pictures like i did you
for you to understand that sometimes, in the middle of the night, i wake up bare
looking for something, someone, alone, scared
to go home
because i dont know just where home is anymore

that occasionally, i arise with tick tock tears in my eyes
feeling like i am running out of time
like every time i have held my dreams in my hands they have fallen apart
simply to be replaced by  somewere else to start from
you know that i have turned countless treasures through these fingers
let each one slip through like grains of sand
my hands bacame an hour glass
and each one seems like just a sliver of quartz that has passed
shifting for its place to be taken
by grains that are shaken loose
by hopes for the words "i love you" to be true

See, i dont want this to end with me blind
i want to have learned my lesson
by the time that i feel my heart's last pressure
compression, spread through my chest
i want to have understood
that each piece of sand that slipped through was not a loss
but simply fragments of glass
falling into the haphazard mold
of the key
to the lock
that i had always been looking for
It was love, each one, each kind,
it was love that opened the fragile door
the glass, the glass, was not just shattered on the floor

I am
breathless.
wordless.
my eyes attempt to take in
every little piece
of you.
They trace your edges.
Test them.
Dip into the shadows that your head
tilted down in shyness, nervousness, uncertainty mixed with certainty
casts across your neck
The ones that fade out as they reach for your chest
the same way i want to reach out and touch you
slide my hands gently across your skin
kiss you in places that i  never think I'd think to kiss you in
places i never imagined would curve so enticingly the way they did

I want arms
long enough to
reach out and pull you to me
until we share a
single
smoothe
edge.
I want you to
curve to my shape
I want to BE touched
and that fine line
is one I want you to brush your fingertips over
I'd relive it for pieces of forever.

I could be ended
independently of any plans i have
my next moment could slip into the past
as my last breath
my next moment could become just a scratch in the crust of the earth
a resting place for my bones and teeth
a scratch that leaves a scar
i would pray that i might be missed by more than few and far
between you and i, i know
i know i am selfish
i admit that i am self absorbed
i like to masquerade as introspective
because who doesnt believe that looking inward to sort your self out
is beneficial, who doesnt think that just a little selfishness is acceptable
I am prideful, i love you for me
i do good things
because doing good makes me feel good
i hide when you most need my presence
because well, "i needed it and i just couldnt help it"
I talk about me again, even when i have already said it
i am sick, i need a medic,
i have been manic,
i am letting go of my madness
i will not find the light in it
i have found it
and turned my face to the side
faking that i couldnt tell the truth
from a lie.

my path is satiation
rage is my recreation
no more delineation
i crave your liberation
im caught in my own mire
bound up by my desires
cage of my own creation
im stuck between relations
sacraments and medication
breathed into my being
divisions my denomination
emptiness is what i'm feeling

all my hopes ive been misplacing
i lose my head in circle tracing
lines throughout my thoughts
fight to twist, untwist, each place they cross
i guess maybe i'm lost
and so i look for signs
create them where they're not

they say that desperate times
call for desperate measures
im so desperate for pleasure
i mistake it for pain
so hungry for help,
i could drown in a drop of rain
so take me deeper
i'm already under
what more is there to loose
ill breathe in fear
im underwater
this is the death i choose

sacraments not meant for tasting
ive spent my whole life chasing
but my life and self are recreating
and my guilt God is erasing