Hey, sorry I haven’t texted you back

Can we meet up?

How does the park feel, I can pick you up
...
I wrote another letter

Want to know the title

“Don’t forget to smile today”

I guess I have nothing else to say about Angle

He never loved me then
And he never loved me now

I hope I can recover way more quickly
This time

You said you were busy
But at least you like my recent photos
I purposely posted to see if you would like them
Glad to know we’re both up at 1am

In desperate measures
I say to myself
“I can care less”

They always say to keep your head held high
But never over the clouds

When you **** a man in the name of law
You alone, have killed a man

Being a workaholic
And needing something to take my mind off things
I’ve grown to be very talented
It’s such a blessing and a curse
But hey at least I forget about you in the moment

You opened up to me
All flesh and bone
You let me see your weakest and strongest parts


I was in all of them

She is all he needs and desires
And its about time that I require, someone who knows I’m not a fool

Ode to the sad mans face I saw on the lonely mountain

As I’m standing outside my open sliding door
During the rain
Listening to the sounds
Not caring who hears
I scream,
“*******! But don’t forget I loved you”
im not going to wait for you no more

I’m crying
And it’s my birthday

Trying to find a little
Order in the chaos

So I take a bus ride
In the afternoon
You all look so happy, and me
I'm barely hanging on

This is what you do to me

Drag myself out on
To the floor
Trying to find a little chaos in the order
So I take a bus ride
Past your house every day
You never fully leave me
But you, you never fully stay

This is what you do to me -Gemma

That one person can restore your faith in love,
And rob you of it at the same time - Maria Mena

Dear God,

I ask for nothing but for his acceptance and his friendship
But if he wants
I would kindly and happily take his love too

You lonely bird
How do you do it?
You fly so passionable, but your always alone
What do you see that I can’t?
I envy you
But I’ll never tell you how much I love you

I don’t like asking for help
I’ll just feel like an attention *****
I’ll deal with it until I take it out on my art

12/30/18

9:37

“I don’t need him”
As a silent minutes passes
He says again
“I don’t need him”
He then realizes that he was always happy with or without him from the beginning
“Ode. Ode to finally finding happiness without the need of him giving me it. I can find it and give it to myself!”

It’s funny to think about
How your name was Angle
But you weren’t one

Sometimes I can’t sleep at night
I think about your hair
Your eyes
The way you’d put your arm behind your head
When we’d talk
The glances we’d make

It’s been seven months now
I’m in theatre
I met this boy also named Angle
He looks the same
Has the same hair
Even talks the same

I feel like I was given the chance to fix things
As if life brought me up to not make the same mistakes as before

The day I found out he just got out of a relationship with a girl named Jasmine
I...I don’t know
I know now he’ll never love me
The same as the other Angle
I need to stop focusing on boys

But I desperately want to feel loved
So I’ll sleep on it
Thank you for listening

I can see you
through you
your minds a mess
you see nothing else but the light that reflects your lighter
while i make my way towards you
the whole world starts moving faster and faster
you stroll away
i feel ashamed
i want to feel closer

I’ll cry later, I need to work

You aren’t affected by this

To show how bad you were
I fell more in love with the scenery
Than with you

Unlike you
I would risk my own life to view the beauty of everything
I’d hold my breath as long as I could to view the waves
Even in the problems you give me
I try to see the beauty
I even try to hold my breath

I remember being able to see your eyes in the flowers
My dreams
My paintings
And in my life
Now the only thing I can see you in are glances from the other room

Your the very reason
I grip my body pillow at night

I don’t like (the way you move me)

Why are there times that we don’t cry (even when someone dies)

You weaved yourself into my lovely embroidery
I wish you didn’t mess it up
But it’s lovelier
Minimalistic and abstracted (a tree tapestry)

You taught me
That I can’t do this alone
But I’m not sure about that
I feel your roots in me
I know your trying to take my soil

Over time a tree blossomed and produced fruit
Now that your gone
It’s starting to wilt a bit
It’s my duty now to nourish it

Even though the fruit is too bitter and sour
The aftertaste is sweet
I’ll share them, like my poems
Letting everyone enjoy it or dislike it

Can you for once
Take me serious
I know how you feel
Your the one who's scared
I loved you
And still love you

I gave you ‘’my’’ opportunities
My self worth
My time
My body
Just to you

Now that you're leaving  
Can’t you just leave me a part of you
I know it seems selfish but It's just not fair

I gave you love
True love
And all I got back in return was.

Ill hug you
like the draped silk over the coffee table

The room was filled with an aroma
Even though I was sick
I could still tell it was your cologne
Too strong
(As always)
As I laugh it off
I start to cry

I might look the same
and I might act the same too
but i'm a little different now
I hope this was for the best
I wish you knew that i'm not strong enough to talk to you right now
say something
please

No matter how awful I feel right this moment
I hope your happy
I hope she makes you feel nice
Thanks again

“Those Days”

Those days remind me of the loneliness you pulled me from my knees through
Remember, my head was the one in the water not yours
Your hands were over my head not mine

You forced your way in making me think I caused the infidelity
Your the problem, look in the mirror
I’m your reflection
Your not here

I don’t know you
But we sleep in the same covers

You cover
I cover

I’ll recover

I sometimes think of your hair
The way you made me feel
Dou, you were and still are the best
You were more than a friend to me
I see you in him,
Sometimes I feel awful about it
I hope you get this somehow
I know your far and all
But I still think we do the same things as before

Are those two green chairs a figment of my imagination
I don’t know where they came from
They don’t see it
No one else sits on them
They all pass them by looking for seats
As I make my way over
I hear the echoing of your screams as you fell in the shower
It haunts me
As if when you die
I will too
I feel at home
I’m writing this while searching for those two green chairs again

Say something
I told him
I’m waiting for a response

Your kindness can be easily mistaken for love
It’s disturbing
And I’m tired
You make my head hurt

There’s so many things I hate to say
But it’s true
I miss you
The way you move
The way you walk
The way you look aloof

Fills the air
We intertwine  
Should have kissed you

But it’s true
It didn’t work
We didn’t try
I miss your curls
I miss your mind
I miss your body
I miss your name
Wish you felt the same

There’s reason I hate to say these things
But it’s true
I just missed you

See you tomorrow (I hope I never see you again)