I subclude myself from all
When I think to myself
I get lost in the moment of reverie
It might sound lonely and it might feel as if that
But that’s all I’ve ever really known
And I’ve come to call it home
The effect raised me well

You will never really know what you truly do to me
(Sorry, I’m sad)

There’s so many reasons to cry
The same way, there’s beautiful reasons to smile

I’ve never felt so lonely
I’ve never felt more alive

It was my second time falling in the tub desperate for an answer to come from you. It’s already been two months, but my mind makes me feel like it’s been years. I just shrug trying to hold onto the walls for support. I yearned for a hug, a meaningful one. The truth is I don’t feel loved. I don’t know why but I just do. What hurts me more is seeing you be happy and smile with her and knowing that I’ll never be able to make you happy like that. I want to be there. I want to be a lover. I want to make sure you know your loved. But you wouldn’t do that for me. While I’m on all four crying in the bathroom floor I scream “get up! In a way to tell myself that I need to move on. You were the one to say “I’ll take to you later”, that was two months ago. The last thing I can remember so far is the smiley face you wrote on my hand. I saved it on paper so that I can remember it and to one day burn it. Now that’s how I’ll remember you. Your hurt me and I took it. I knew what would happen and I did it. That’s how much I love you. My mental health is nothing compared to my love for you. But I’ll come to mind and heart and realize your toxic and leave. (I got up from the floor)

I’ve always been told to be a poster child
Now that I’ve become somewhat of it
I know the effects it has on a person
I’m now feeling the need to revel against the night streets
And no longer wait for it

It’s the complete opposite
And I’ll follow it

That’s the need
I tell myself to have and to be

I now have no reason to write another love letter
Its time to move on
Fragility is a *****, but i'm a bigger one
I deserve to be happy and smile
I don't deserve anything below that
You showed me that you weren't a lover
And I did what I did anyways
Now I have nothing to do but move on - Alan