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10w
Louise Apr 2014
10w
Tomorrow will still come
but your love
will never
return
10w
Louise Apr 2014
10w
Your eyes always told me
everything
I needed to know
My first attempt!
They're not as easy as everyone else makes them look
: )
Louise Jun 2014
I'm still waiting for a reply
to an
unanswerable
question
Louise Jun 2014
~


The
'thoughts'
aren't our voice!
We don't have to listen.


~
Louise Jun 2014


Each word

rips
~
tears
~
aches
~
heals
~
caresses
~
touches
~

my heart


Louise May 2014
Can you hear me
when you look at my words?
Louise Jun 2014


Spending time with each other
doesn't necessarily mean
quality time!!


Men are so frustrating sometimes!!!
:oP
Louise Jun 2014
I will fall asleep sometimes
just to be with you
x
Louise Jun 2014
Or is it just me?
No!  It must be you!
x
Louise May 2014
When we kiss
you inhale
a part
of my soul
Louise Jun 2014


It's just simple to see
why love is so
complicated


Louise Jun 2014
~

Lust is not Love
but you
I Love
to
lust

~
Louise Jun 2014
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

Yes!!  I admit it!!
I get 'man flu'
Boo hoo!!
:' /

■■■■■■■■■■■■
Really feeling 'pants'
Louise Jun 2014


It's such a
wonderfully tricky place
inside my despicable mind.


Louise Jun 2014
~
Drinking hot tea together
at 5am
listening to the birds!
: )
My husband's gone to work but I had a cuppa with him before he left   : )
Louise May 2014
Yet we share so much.
Sun, moon, stars
and ....

love?
Louise Jun 2014
○  ◇  ○

Within myself
I search a person
yet unknown to me

○ ◇ ○
Louise Jun 2014


Your
words
have
filled
a
void
yet
created
a
yearning


Louise May 2014
Your hands wrapped around my waist
is all it takes
Louise Apr 2014
and again I am woken
thoughts and worries
race through my bloodstream
it seems,
until I am fully aware

I've learned not to fight it
so I read or write
trying to distract myself
from haunting thoughts

sometimes I enjoy
the stillness
that accompanies
4 o'clock in the morning

I feel lonely and isolated
but also enjoy sharing the
'hush'
with nothing and no one
just me,
sitting hand in hand
with 4 o'clock
in the morning
Louise Oct 2014


I miss you but I don't know who you are
Want to touch you but you're just so very far

You visit my dreams but we've never even met
It's where I always tell you how much we could have meant

Imagining your scent I close my eyes and slowly inhale
Fantasising of the sunset into which we could sail

The taste of your lips is a memory I'm waiting to have
Yet all the time wishing it's one I'd already had

Will your embrace, I wonder, ever be mine to steal?
Feeling your warmth, mending this heart that needs to heal

I'll hold this dream in my mind so tight and so very close
One day maybe you'll come true! I'll pray, and who knows?



~


Something is missing from deep inside but will I ever know?
Tell me where you are and to this place I will surely go

Within my dreams there's a place that feels so very real
A gentle voice in the beautiful distance mirrors the way I feel

The scent of Jasmine reminds me of a face I've never met
My heart remains loyal and my mind is already set

Full lips, I imagine, leaving 'lust' as a subtle taste
I reach out to caress you but lose the memory of your face

It's like you've already held me but left the imprint on my heart
I would readily begin searching if I knew just where to start

This fantasy, visiting only at night, will stay with me 'til death
and when I leave this earth, your name will fall upon my fragile breath
This is about 2 people dreaming of their soul mate. They haven't met but are waiting and dreaming about each other.
Louise May 2014
A mother so far
from a mother to me
So much pain caused
by this woman I see

Discouraged from my door
Forbidden in my life
Chunks ripped from my heart
caused by her dullest of knives

Dementia has swallowed her
my anger softened somewhat
How can I hang onto such fury
when she's now a woman,  lost

Our relationship has changed
Now I spend time with her
How can Dementia be a blessing
Isnt it supposed to be a curse?
She popped in this morning like we were old friends.  I find life so curious sometimes!!
Louise May 2014
So, my father, what can I say!
It's not that he left or went away
There in body but not in mind
No comfort from him I could find
Disapproving glances, few words to say
No love in his eyes while watching me play
Protective hands did not wipe my tears
Without a soothing voice to destroy my fears
No strong arms around me to hold me tight
I felt such a burden, so kept out of sight
Little did I know it was him who felt ashamed
A father he wasn't meant to be, a father he never became
Louise Apr 2014
I think I'd like some time
to reflect and recover
it'll be thought insignificant
by you and possibly others

It feels like a weight
that I'm certain to carry
a burden that's stagnant
causing me to worry

I'm sure you will continue
proceeding with your day
perhaps I'll resolve it
but alone again in many ways

There's sufficient time
for my mind to solve it
I cannot make my move
or resolve things yet

So for a measurable time
I'll ponder on the issue
but I wonder in the end
Will I still miss you?
Louise Jun 2014
My inner poet asked me
just the other day
what would I do if she left
would I feel alone and afraid

I begged her not to go
to think about it first
How would I arrange my
thoughts?
Where would I display the hurt?

All the varied emotions
that build up inside of me
wouldn't have a place to go
no haven to leave them be

I cannot store them all
inside my manic mind
they need to be released
and quite regularly I find

I love the arrangement
of words in line, after line
my thoughts are then clearer
creating space for me inside

In systematic order
they often gain new meaning
but when they are scrambled up
I'm not sure what I'm feeling

Penning everything in lines
for my inner poet to see
she gazed at the rows of words
and said poetically

I'm here with you now
and will probably always be
trust in you're thoughts and feelings
and reveal them for all to see
Louise May 2013
Off to 'The Orchard' for afternoon tea
Beautiful and quaint, filled with history

Rupert Brooke, the poet, started the trend
Taking tea in the garden 'til the days end

Virginia Woolf, a writer, with a troubled mind
Enjoyed the bonds of friendship with a group so kind

It goes as far back as the year 1897
Cambridge students found a pocket of heaven

Blossoming fruit trees arranged in rows
Scattered seating, cushions and colourful throws

Crumbling moist Scones with jam and cream
Carrot Cake and Cordial an Elderberry dream

Horses in the distance and cows by your side
Cool Emerald grass where the insects hide

A wander by the river hand in hand
The most peaceful day that ever was planned






I visited The Orchard yesterday, a most gorgeous place.  I hope this poem gives you a picture of this idyllic little corner of England x
Louise Apr 2014
If it's excitement and adventure
that you need to fill your day
Head to where the books are
their part they're willing to play

Choose a book that suits your style
place it in your hands
Prepare yourself for the moment
where your mind will grow and expand

You can solve a ****** mystery
or laugh at others being a fool
When you're reading all these tales
you'll even forget you're at school

Why not go on a mission impossible
or fight in a world war?
You'll always come out alive
well, I think I know that for sure

Perhaps fall in love with a stranger
and together travel the world
Fly off to New York
and go shopping with the girls

Whatever it is you choose
it's all in the palm of your hand
Adventure at your fingertips
It's only the time you need to plan
a piece written for students at our school to encourage them to read more
Louise Sep 2014
I count the grains of sand between my toes
Each represents small details in my life
Over time,  they've slipped through my fingertips
landing at my feet
The roughness reminds me of all that I have learnt
yet the coolness of them combined,
flowing through my inquisitive fingers reflects the moments,
like this,  that I'll treasure.
Louise Aug 2014
~~~

Her heart was broken by others
She caused her own scars along the way
her soul was carelessly destroyed
and she, abandoned, afraid
~
Her heart was broken by many
she felt so very alone
her pores absorbed anxiety
it's all that she has known
~
Her heart was broken too often
How does she continue to survive?
She tried to stand tall once
but had lost the sparkle in her eyes
~
Her heart was broken for the last time
the darkness engulfed her tiny frame
the blackness has all of her consumed
she will never rise again
~~~
This was written a while ago but was unfinished. It's turned out a little dark though lol
Louise Nov 2014
'alone'

That word

   'stands'

all alone

so small

yet its meaning

so enormous!

It's one of the biggest
feelings that I know.

The smallest word
   that shoots
  the fiercest pain ..
                        
  to our hearts
Wrote this a few weeks ago. Feeling ok now
Louise Apr 2014
I sit and stare at nothing
      yet see so much more ..
          beyond

   Hands are clasped and closed
       yet I feel ..
          everything

   Listening closely to my heartbeat
        I hear your voice ..
           still

   My mouth, desperately dry,
        the sweet moisture from your lips ..
            I will taste ..
                forever
Louise May 2014
I need to find a memory
that I can cling on to
There must be at least one
a good one of me and you

Maybe one from childhood
or my quiet teenage years
Just one where there are smiles
instead of anger or tears

I'd like a 'good' memory
onto which I can hold tight
I'll think of it only sometimes
and now it just seems right

I think it would really help
to have one among the bad
It's just that right now I'm struggling
mixed emotions about the mother I should have had

So I need to find a memory
that I can cling on to
There must be at least one
a good one of me and you
Louise Jul 2014
I think I might be evil
or a wicked witch maybe
each time my spouse is annoying
he acquires a curious injury!

It's not really a conscious thought
that goes through my mind
although it really seems to work
in my favour, I find!

He'll try to be sarcastic
and think he's really funny
he may be brave enough to mention
that I don't earn all the money

but when he begins to stand
and maybe try walking
he'll almost trip over
and feel that he's suffering

He joked about my weight one day
then tried to run and flee
I just sat there 'glaring' at him
hearing a shocking 'crack' from his knee

So maybe I am a witch
It really makes me wonder
while he's writhing in pain by my feet
I'll just sit here and ponder

; )
Louise Sep 2014
Isn't it so wonderful
that we have humour.
During difficult times or events,
it sees us through.

I attended my best friends,  mother's
funeral today.
Sue is her name.
It was harder than I expected
even though I've known her
for over 30 years.

As I arrived
my friend made me laugh
straight away.
(She has a weird humour,  
which is why I love her)

People joked about Sue's
stubbornness and
her opinionated ways.

I caught up with people
I hadn't seen in a while
and didn't realise they
knew her too.

And we laughed.

Thank god for humour.

God bless you Sue
x
Louise Apr 2014
She's building her strength
  within her   mind
  within her   heart

Unsure to begin with
  but    determined
to find a place to start

At first, not aware she needed to
however, cracks began to show

Realising for her own
  'protection'
as she feared  another
  heartless blow

Wanting only to show
  kindness
simply needing to offer
  love
Clarity of thought emerged
she now knew it could be done

To heal this and herself
  'gently'
with a
  
strength,

and   truth,
    in her words

She can stand alone
  and strong,

       small,
         yet
powerful enough
  to be heard
Louise Aug 2014



I chose Apple scented soap
for my trip to France

I was 12 ..

Even today
that beautiful aroma
takes me back there
and the room that I shared with friends

The breakfast room
with the huge windows,
bread and jam,
croissants
and trying to convince myself
that the tea wasn't that bad

I recall the boy that I had a crush on
from my class..
he was quiet, sweet
and very kind

Apple scented soap
reminds me of all of these things ..

and the 12 year old me.


I think I may have found my good memory of my mother while writing this.
She let me choose the soap and bought me a new pink and white towel for my trip.
It seems insignificant but it wasn't.

(I bargained with my parents by saying that I wouldn't go on any other trip for the 4 yrs I was at middle school so I could go on this trip.)
Louise Jul 2014


The sun has barely risen
but you're leaving for work
I know this will make you late
but I've really got the urge!

I miss your body
desperately crave your touch
it'll be quick I promise
so you are definitely in luck

I don't even need right now
all that I usually do
so please 'take me' before you leave
this one baby ...
is just ..

for ..

you.


I'm up way too early this morning, too much energy and too much of something else
; )
Louise Aug 2014
~

Pretty, soft scarves
are my 'shoes'.

I love to wear them
with every outfit
and have many
in different colours
and designs.

They just seem to
'add something'
to what I wear
and they feel
such a comfort
around my neck,
offering a warmth
that I need.

On Summer evenings
when it is just too warm,
very occasionally,
I'll wear nothing
but
a scarf


~
; )
Louise Mar 2015
I've read, that through each
difficulty in our lives
we should learn a lesson

I'm not sure that I always have
but this
dear family
you have made easy

Your coldness, harsh words and ignorance
enabled me to understand finally
how life really works

and I know
that you do not understand my behavior
How could you having never asked!

So if my actions are misconstrued
(which they often are)
What a wonderful tale to tell
to all that will listen

However, when I get it right
a certain 'hush' falls around each
and every one of us.
I now no longer hear my name!

I  know it's not like in the films,
where in the end you'll find out the truth
Life, just isn't like that
That is hard to realise,  but I have

I hope to also learn
not to feel anger and frustration
towards you,
accepting that to a point
it's human nature

It is all so much clearer to me now
so I can allow myself a freedom
within me
that I was unable to access before

I have a beautiful space around me
giving me room
to spread my wings further
smile much wider
inhale more deeply
and see a beautiful horizon

I have truly learned
to appreciate those around me
who know who I am
I am trusted,
loved,
accepted,
flaws and all

Thank you for teaching me this
if nothing else
This piece is to clarify my thoughts.  I hope it doesn't sound bitter because that's not how I feel. I just have a better understanding of this type of situation that seems to arise a lot in life.
I hope it may help someone else too
x
Louise Apr 2014
You're always there beside me
yet I keep you one heartbeat away
even after a thousand leaves have fallen
it's just my way of staying safe

Never an intention to hurt me
but heartaches can often follow
You suffer sometimes more than I
when reminded of my hearts sorrow

Whole and complete I want us to be
I yearn for it but you'd never know
as I keep you one warm breath away
the same distance as two flakes of snow

Longing for the liberating day
when it's all for you without exception
maybe soon after a thousand rays of sun
and I am without fear of rejection

I'll keep you closer than my own heart
our melodious beats will be the same
my whispers, on a thousand warm breezes
will always carry your name

x
for my husband for sticking by me when I am probably the hardest person to love
Louise May 2014
It's supposed to be about the journey
but I don't know where I am!
Is it the beginning or the middle
I'm sure I'll never understand

It would be much clearer I'm sure
if I knew exactly 'why' I was travelling
Was I given a destination
as this is just too challenging

Are there supposed to be clearer signs
or a guide when I'm losing my way
I've been heading this way forever
and now I'm sure I need to be saved

I was not provided with a map
a plan was never discussed
so now I'm walking aimlessly
desperately trying to keep my head up

You can clearly see I'm frustrated
and annoyed at this 'merry dance'
Someone pass me an A to Z of life
and at least give me a fighting chance
Another one about our life's journey
Louise Jul 2014

.

He said I looked 28!!

He had glasses, but Hey!!!!

I'm still taking it as a compliment

: D



Negative feedback not required!!
Thank you
; )
Louise Nov 2014


Her name was Autumn
she held many exquisite colours
within her oval eyes

Ruby red flashes
as they caught the light
creating the illusion of fire

A glorious gold
in a soft shimmer
offering glimpses of forever

As you peered deeper
they enticed memories forgotten
Of her eyes you'd never tire
Louise May 2014
A love so violently gentle
in an impulsive kind of way
I felt so beautifully ugly
a thought, I heard myself say
                   You were always coldly warm
                    as we talked about our pasts
                    Showing your most hateful smile
                    that you often wore as a mask
A dry moisture upon my lips
still remains from our first kiss
when my hair so wildly tame
wrapped around your fingertips
                     Our heartbeats, silently heard
                      as life was passing by
                      A weight, as light as a feather
                      fell upon us from the sky
Now our completely happy nightmare
moves swiftly to an end
I find myself laughing angrily
at this situation I have penned
just playing around with some ideas.  I think I've used them in the correct way
:)
Louise Jun 2014
I may cry
when you pass.
don't be fooled
it's not for you.

It's for the father
I should have had,
the father I deserved.
That's what I'll grieve
not you.

Never you.

What's there to miss?
I can do without you
making me feel awkward,
ignored,
an inconvenience.

Can you understand my view?

There were no cuddles
for me,
no tenderness
or tender words.

I did not even want you
to 'give me away'
on your only daughters
wedding day.
Escaping abroad
escaping feeling ignored.
You lost all rights
to hand me over
to another man
that would protect me.

You never got that right
did you?
Couldn't even protect me
from yourself.

So I sometimes think
about your health,
you, drinking yourself
               to
                    d
                      e
                  ­      a
                          t
                            h­

Not sure how much more
your old and bitter body can take

and I wait* ......
this was a real rant written a while ago, unfortunately it still applies today!!  Sorry it's a bit morbid but he's not a nice person.
Louise May 2014
unwanted thoughts
are gracefully swept away

with each withdrawing wave,
new and fresh ones
bring a clear, salty
crispness to my mind

how this wonderful sight
makes me feel like
                          'me'
                             ­         again

the sounds of the ocean
prevent my own harsh words
being used against myself

the fragrance surrounds me

                            I inhale ..

it brings a scented sanity
that I hold onto with both hands

too quickly I have to depart
but these things stay with me
yet I am clinging desperately still

          soon I will return ..

                       I must return ..

the sounds will fill my head
the sights will remind me
of who I am
and again the scent will soothe me

once more
    I will take another piece home

            absorb it,

                 hold it,

                      so very close to my heart
written after a long awaited visit to the coast (my favourite place)
Louise Mar 2015


Bleed your ink onto the page
bleed your pain on even lines
come back to me often
return, time after time

I am with you through each step
I am with you through the tears
follow me 'til the end
together for a thousand years

I watch you face your doubts
I watch you pen your troubled life
take me on your journey
where we'll reach for the beautiful sky


Louise Jul 2014
◆◆◆◆


How can it still so often feel

       like an eternity

               since our last touch

                     when we were together

                           only days before




                        It is the closest thing

                    to a beautiful torment,

                my throat squeezes a sound

             from me, that makes us fear

      an end to this painful pleasure 

  is coming




             The fierce burning

                    that you're striving hard

                         to quench

                              will be in flames

                                   once again

                                        

                ­                  
                                    My hunger for you

                                will need to be fed

                             Your body

                         I fear

                    will be my

                sacrifice

                ◆◆◆◆
Louise Jun 2014
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few words were behind a thought
somewhere at the back of my mind
I caught a little glimpse of them
not knowing why they're trying to hide

~~~

I encouraged them to show themselves
so I could place them on a page
yet I'm unable to entice them
their minds I've yet to change

~~~

I'll leave those words behind the thought
somewhere at the back of my mind
when they're ready to show themselves
they'll be displayed perfectly with their own kind

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Louise Mar 2015
The eyes that show the scene
a scene of long ago
forgotten times
and distant memories.

A short story
told,
shown,
in black and white
imagining details
within our minds

but what of  the eyes
that show the scene
that made the moment

the eyes behind the camera
what of their story?
Looking at an old black and white photo recently discovered of my father in law and I wondered about the photographers story.
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