~

If I could come to you ..

be there for you
speak no words,
just hold you
in my arms,
place my hand in yours ..

I would

◇

If I could be there ..

let you know
with my eyes
that all will be well,
just sit with you ..

I would

◇

If I could be at your side

take your pain,
caress the hurt,
kiss your tears
with my hand on your heart ..

I would

~

I'm still unable to see your view of me
from your ocean blue eyes
you say it's a sight to see forever
your love, never disguised

I stumble in confusion
as to why you see me the way you do
It breaks my heart and mends me
to feel this love between me and you

You're the only one to love me this way
forever keep me in your sights
never let us lose this love we share
that I see deep in your ocean blue eyes

~

Pretty, soft scarves
are my 'shoes'.

I love to wear them
with every outfit
and have many
in different colours
and designs.

They just seem to
'add something'
to what I wear
and they feel
such a comfort
around my neck,
offering a warmth
that I need.

On Summer evenings
when it is just too warm,
very occasionally,
I'll wear nothing
but
a scarf

~

♡
I really dont know what it is
but I love a cuddly, curvy man
I'm definitely not a fan of six packs
and love a stomache that I can grab
~
arms should be sturdy and strong
also scattered with **** dark hair
the strength can be wrapped around me
to show how much he cares
~
I've noticed,  men with the 'extra layer'
usually have great legs too
this is definitely a bonus
and so is a size 12 shoe!!   ; )
~
So all you men out there who worry
about tightening up your belt
bring those love handles over here
and watch as I just melt

♡

He knows what he's doing
a cruel manipulative mind
An almost 'split personality'
greatly disturbed I find

I thought I was free
as one situation disappears
but now another has arrived
tapping into all of my fears

It has all the same ingredients
but now served by a different spoon
my strength and sanity tainted
a different person singing the same tune

Playing evil mind games
telling ***** lies
witholding information.
He's like a devil in disguise!

This to me is so much worse
than someone yelling in my face
It's without a resolution
so I sit here alone, and wait

I fear vulnerability
it's been a dangerous place for me
his actions take me back there
then through the fog I cannot see

The control is no longer mine
I've never even been close
I can be toyed with anytime
by a wolf in sheeps clothes

So how can I protect myself
when I'm once again a vulnerable girl
disabling rational thinking
causing my mind and head to swirl

Others around me don't sense the threat
He doesn't look a menacing case
but he's repeating abusive behaviour
deceit is written all over his face

It's a lonely,  frightening situation
I can't yet see a way out
I need protection from a loved one
who can be the one to stand up and shout

How can I explain
that this idiot really frightens me?
I'm feeling so insecure
I just want to be held you see

I want you to tell me he can't hurt me
you wouldn't let him so
just hold me a little closer
as I'm not sure that I can cope.

◇◇◇


He wrote of
new  horizons
sensual sunsets
and a moonlight
that would touch her soul

He tempted her with
the freedom of the ocean
the wonder of the waves
and pulled her heart
like the tide

She danced
to his tune under the stars
immersed herself
in the waves of his wishes
forever
drowning in his love

◇◇

◇

Please don't wrap your words around her
direct them straight to her heart
point them in her direction
bounce them off each shining star

She'll beg you not to mention
words of longing or of lust
enticing her to look your way
words wrapped in cotton wool and trust

Never write words for a woman
as she'll take them to her soul
breathing them in like air
not noticing she's about to fall

Her heart is so very fragile
feelings, just ready to explode
fraying quickly around the edges
when she reads your first 'Hello'

◇

~
I'm still afraid sometimes
to even close my eyes
because I know
that right beside me
it is there that you stand.
At first I sense it
feeling tingles up my spine
then you softly but surely
take my fragile hand

I absorb the moment
it's just like old times
allowing myself to fully feel it
flowing emotions, like words that rhyme.
It was just so effortless
'me and you'
yet it wasn't meant to be
a love that ended way too soon

We know how and we know why
and I still lose a precious part of you
each time I breathe a sigh.
Perhaps when
each part of you has finally gone
I'll be more certain that the
'you and me' are done

I'll no longer be so afraid
to gently close my eyes
it'll be 'me' and 'myself'
and quiet empty sighs
You'll never again
be so close beside me
or softly take my hand,
I'll just be closing my eyes
to drift off and dream of
the treasured life we'd planned

~

I'm taking a lovely trip
to the historical Roman Baths
there's hot springs and Roman temples
I'll be following the Romans' path

A mystical work of the gods (they thought)
built between 60 - 70 AD
illuminated by torchlight
An evening tour maybe?!

I'll pop to the house of Jane Austen
she wrote of romance and love
And 18th century style gardens
where we'll take afternoon tea 'til we're stuffed

◇

I miss you but I don't know who you are
Want to touch you but you're just so very far

You visit my dreams but we've never even met
It's where I always tell you how much we could have meant

Imagining your scent I close my eyes and slowly inhale
Fantasising of the sunset into which we could sail

The taste of your lips is a memory I'm waiting to have
Yet all the time wishing it's one I'd already had

Will your embrace, I wonder, ever be mine to steal?
Feeling your warmth, mending this heart that needs to heal

I'll hold this dream in my mind so tight and so very close
One day maybe you'll come true! I'll pray, and who knows?


~


Something is missing from deep inside but will I ever know?
Tell me where you are and to this place I will surely go

Within my dreams there's a place that feels so very real
A gentle voice in the beautiful distance mirrors the way I feel

The scent of Jasmine reminds me of a face I've never met
My heart remains loyal and my mind is already set

Full lips, I imagine, leaving 'lust' as a subtle taste
I reach out to caress you but lose the memory of your face

It's like you've already held me but left the imprint on my heart
I would readily begin searching if I knew just where to start

This fantasy, visiting only at night, will stay with me 'til death
and when I leave this earth, your name will fall upon my fragile breath

□

It
is
possible
that
I'm
standing
a
little
taller
in
this
world
that
makes
me
feel
so
small

□

I'm not sure if he knows
that often, my eyes are without mascara
and lack the soft sweep of a muted brown

Does he realise
my limbs are not long and slender
and definitely not as lean as they once were

Is he aware
that my stomach is no longer flat
or even slightly firm but rounded and fleshy

Does he know all this
because each day
he looks at me as if I am beautiful

Her words are clearly written

full of life and love

yet she is showing you
the emptiness

It's there
between the words

above ..

and below ..
the lines

It surrounds
each and every stanza

and envelops whole poems

You ..

just choose

not to notice

◇


I chose Apple scented soap
for my trip to France

I was 12 ..

Even today
that beautiful aroma
takes me back there
and the room that I shared with friends

The breakfast room
with the huge windows,
bread and jam,
croissants
and trying to convince myself
that the tea wasn't that bad

I recall the boy that I had a crush on
from my class..
he was quiet, sweet
and very kind

Apple scented soap
reminds me of all of these things ..

and the 12 year old me.

◇

(Paul Weller inspired)

You do something to me
yet my ignorance is bliss
grasping this wonderful feeling
floating in a warm and scented mist

You do something wonderful
that stops my heavy heart ache
Look a little closer
to see my winding path to fate

You do something to me
I'm hoping there will be a time
to become a little closer
I'll wait here for a sign

You do something wonderful**
and 'take me there' with you
wanting so badly to fall deeper
heart and soul, through and through

You came to me in a dream
no dialogue exchanged, all the words has been said
I absorbed the way you looked
knowing I may never see you again

I gazed at a familiar face nearly forgotten
slowly, falling under your spell 
You could always see into my soul
and tell me every tale I had to tell

The seconds were passing too quickly
and knowing once more we'd have to part
I tried to view you through salty tears
once again my insides were torn apart

◇

Seeing you on the other side of yesterday
you softly gazed at me
a memory I had forgotten
a sight I'd never thought I'd see

Hearing you on a silence from the future
you sounded like a different kind of man
I won't know what it is that you said
until that future is part of the plan

Tasting a sadness that reminds me
of a time that is still to come
I wash away the sweetness
that lingers upon my tongue

Inhaling an aroma of what was
I let it settle, closing my eyes
A scent of Springtime and longing
once upon a sunrise

Feeling you softly upon my soul
sending my heart straight back to you
my body is now yearning
my mind, so easily fooled

◇

☆

She heard whispers upon the wind
and soft words upon a breeze
inhaled a fragrance on the moonlight
called out your name among floating leaves
~
She ran along the sensual sand
compelled by the crashing waves
fleeing from something so familiar
yet her fear was to leave this place
~
Eventually halted by the stars
as they lit up the life in her eyes
she remained motionless,  like the blackness
reading between the clusters and all they implied
~
The moonlight fell upon her tender face
a harmony of waves filled her ears
the sand between her toes would forever remain
as she clung to hope as a souvenir

☆

~

Walking into the night
she hoped to find her way
with the moon as her guide
her past, mere footsteps away

She held her head high
the unknown future in sight
moving towards the new day
while disappearing into the night

So small, in this big world,
a girl,  with room to grow
turning footsteps into strides
within her eyes, a new glow

pieces of her she'll leave behind
never again to look back
Looking to a future she was meant for
she vanishes into the night so black

~

You knew you were stealing
a piece of my heart
Please keep it safe
carry it close
in your pocket
or next to your heart
you'll forever have a piece of me
we know we'll always be apart

I will survive
with a heart that's been torn
my movements,  much slower now
but I've no need to hurry
to get anywhere
when the direction's not you
I'll just wait here
but please,
don't take another piece
whatever you do.

◇

The waves don't seem to wash away the hurt
Scars of my past are ingrained in the sand for all to see
Salty water, desperately trying to heal the open wounds
but the sun is determined to reflect them back somehow. 
Maybe the past can never really be forgotten
I still hope with each returning tide, eventually,  
only the memories will be washed up
and not me

◇

I struggled through a desert
a bare and unforgiving land
constantly feeling though
I had no one to hold my hand

Many, just weren't there
never offering to show me the way
so I quickly stopped asking
and got used to being afraid

Many years were spent
advancing painfully through the sand
trying to make it on my own
finding ways to understand

I couldn't help but take the long way
making it harder on myself
I truly believed I was lost
and refused to ask for help

Rejection is a cruel emotion
that I know will never leave
it grips from inside out
making it so hard to breathe

I may have found my oasis
really it's been here longer than I thought
but it's hard to recognise a safe haven
when rejection is all you've been taught

-◇-

I write,  

but I am not a poet

I feel emotions so intense
I spill them in ink across a page

but I am not a poet

I am forced to release thoughts
from my mind

but I am not a poet

my words are presented as I feel them
they do not make a poem

as I am not a poet

my senses view, smell, taste, hear and feel things
so differently from many

but I am not a poet

Phrases and images appear in my mind
I have to share these wondrous things

but I am not a poet

I am not sure what makes a poet.

This I will sit and quietly ponder,
reflect upon,
write about
because maybe,  just maybe

I am a poet

-◇-

My eyes were open

you saw me,  told me I was beautiful
and you'd never stop admiring me

My arms were open

you held me,  so gently but so tight
and swore you'd never let me go

My mouth was open

you kissed it so beautifully hard
I lost my breath, and mind, over you

My heart was open

you loved it, caressed it, stole it
saying you'd treasure it always


◆



My eyes are closed

they always are now
yet I still see visions of you

My arms are now closed

I hold myself together
until I decide to fall apart

My mouth is closed

the only words that can leave it
are 'I love you' but you're not here

My heart is closed,

I imagine, as I have not seen it
and I'm sure I never will again

○○○

They speak the things
I am unable to speak
cry the pain for me
that I can no longer take,
shout loudly in anger
when I'm just too weak

Words ..

Give comfort to me
when no one is
around
Help to soothe me
to sleep
with the gentlest
of sounds,
offer me confidence
when mine
cannot be found

Words ..

Let me write of a love
that I've not always known
and of a romance
that I want to be shown
a love that's so magical
it feels just like home

○○

~

Lust is not Love
but you
I Love
to
lust

~