Louise

Louise Jan 2015

Taller!

□

It
is
possible
that
I'm
standing
a
little
taller
in
this
world
that
makes
me
feel
so
small

□

Louise Jan 2015

◇

I've already lived what was before
survived the reality of the past

Why would I choose to return to fear
(so close by my side, as it always is)

I've lived and cried the hurt and dread
It has sat in every single pore of me

Deciding on a future not yet experienced,
I'll head toward my 'once tainted' dreams

Carrying only, a reminder of my former self
and eyes that see hope and promise

◇

Surely my inner fear, that I won't 'live' life
outweighs anything I may face 'out there'

just a little inspired by some Cheryl Strayed quotes

Louise Jan 2015

the literal place of my past

I was driven
to repeatedly return
to the 'literal' place of my past.

It was like an obsession!
                  I marched there
                     each day
                        looking ..

but for what I wasn't sure.

So I returned
again and again,
  eyes scanning
   mind rewinding
    in the hope,

that something would connect,
   offer a piece of the puzzle

      a piece of my past ..

           or just ..

                peace.

I recently recalled the time I became obsessed with the place I used to live as a child ( not far from my home now. )
I didn't realise it but I was looking for answers. I never found them.

Jan 2015

D.H. Lawrence

The End

If I could have put you in my heart,
If but I could have wrapped you in myself,
How glad I should have been!
And now the chart
Of memory unrolls again to me
The course of our journey here, before we had to part.

And oh, that you had never, never been
Some of your selves, my love, that some
Of your several faces I had never seen!
And still they come before me, and they go,
And I cry aloud in the moments that intervene.

And oh, my love, as I rock for you to-night,
And have not any longer any hope
To heal the suffering, or make requite
For all your life of asking and despair,
I own that some of me is dead to-night.

Louise Jan 2015

This Path

There's a path I've been walking
it's the same path
heading in the same direction ..

always.

It's brought me to here
this place
where I find another route
is now available to me

I'm pausing
not because I doubt,
but because I'm finally here
and it's been a long time coming

To be honest
I was never really sure that I'd get here
and didn't realise
that this path was here at all

This is only the beginning
I know,
to perfect this new way of thinking
I'm not even close

I know it's there though
and surely that's a start
a little closer to perfecting
with each new step

A few back
I may take
that's inevitable
but I'm still heading
in the right direction

Maybe I'll need to sit here
just for a while
and that's okay

It's hard to explain this one but it's me trying to describe how my mind or my thoughts are changing. It's a positive change which should enable me to let people judge or even be hurtful yet I can see the bigger picture and not feel that I need to react. I'm not there yet, I've got a lot of practising to do

Louise Jan 2015

She reads him

She reads him
wanting to absorb
all that he is,
feeling his words
almost touch her skin

She reads him
his words, upon her parted,
wet lips
His pain, a taste, familiar,
left upon her tongue

She reads him
savouring the flavour
she is lost in him forever
****** by his poetry