Place your hands around the neck of expectation,
lace your fingers tight, with your friend, frustration
Take steps into a nation
too small to restrain you
too big to contain you
Too simple to explain you.

you were dust before i held you
and your memories were tainted
before we fell through
the cavities of each others hearts.

Your lucid skin stretched itself tight across your cold protruding bones
And you, you'd spent years building up and tearing down the homes
Others had helped you to construct in your heart
you'd spent decades practicing and perfecting the art
of destroying your foundations
and crying
as you watched yourself
fall apart

Missing you feels like,
a cold, empty hand,
clamped around the lonely shadows of
my heart, in the crevices of the sheets,
Cradling myself at four in the morning.

i had your heart in my hands. and i dropped it in confusion.

number one, do not use depression as an excuse. do not use a flaw in chemistry to contaminate another soul.
second, a home is never a building. it's built a human, and it's constantly on the move - embrace changes. but like buildings, it may get demolished.
third, the hardest goodbyes are never bade. notice the colours fading, you're close.
number four, realise that the past is a broken record ought to be disposed.
fifth, all suppressed truths become toxic. not all harsh truths are better than lies, remember, telling a lie causes the liar to believe it. it might change him.
number six, emptiness is heavy. and feeling heavy weighs you down. $tay high, you'll feel lighter.
seventh, smiles are just expressions of joy. not radiating it leaves traces on your heart.

i had your heart in my hands, and i dropped it, i dropped it each time.

( FAH )

i miss the way you planted butterflies in my stomach and fireflies in the pupils of my eyes.

There were fires in me that could have burnt down entire cities, and you were the only one who took the time to extinguish them.