Snow falls and coats this ugly world in a coat of white,
Clean, fresh, untouched
Bury it all
Smother this sadness with alabaster beauty
And when spring comes, maybe hope will follow

You can spend life in many ways,
Analyzing or distracted in a daze
These truths may be self evident,
But perceptions are realities bent
You seek assurances from within,
But permanence never truly sinks in

Hollow melancholy, years dripping by like venomous honey
Mourning, lamenting histories written,
Silences screaming louder than petty words
Insinuations driven home with the subtlety of hammer and nail

I feel as if I'm in suspended animation,
Floating in a memory laden soup
Trapped between two worlds,
And I simply must awake

Loving her was like chasing a sunset,
Each day, a new opportunity
To despair

on your wedding day

I will sit in wooden church pews more uncomfortable than your fathers stare because he knows what we are both thinking.

I will let my eyes wander through eyelashes heavy with reflections from the light of your smile as she walks down the aisle.

I watch as your hands shake like a child chasing a sudden warm breeze only to find a tornado.

you say your vows and I can only imagine ***** overflowing from your mouth because the name you say after "I love you" is not mine. It is not even close.

friends and family rise and pianos begin to play what sounds like a death march. You will have your first dance with her moments after this and all I can remember  is the jealousy in your eyes the night you wished you were the one dancing with me.

the room clears out and I can only think of the bed you will make love to her in. I hope you still find my stray hairs between the sheets. I know your finger tips will caress her sides in a way I never knew how to receive.

the song of my heart was always a little off pitch, so, when she plays the pianos of your heart I can only hope this time it will be in the right

key.