Darkness consumes me as memories echos through my mind.  Silence pierces the voice within.  Heaviness holds as my soul wonders seeking clarity.  To weak to fight as Shepard’s stroke ego growing. Sun spinning into everlasting moonlight.
Never-ending, never-ending.

Alarm summoning heavy body unwillingly rises. Water burning flesh as it washes away tears.

I lay here with these familiar walls and their familiar trinkets. Thoughts spinning uncontrollably.  Time goes on as I feel frozen in place with this everlasting ache.  Footsteps echo passed as they go on with normalcy.  They long for me to follow but distance grows. Something within me changing, It ripples cracks through the very person I was. This life is no more. I yearn to fill the void please I need to feel something, anything will you be that for me even if it’s temporary. I need the high. I need the adrenaline.

Will it ever just go away this feeling that hides inside of me.
It burns me from the inside out.
Bringing out the worst in me.
I long to be truly happy.
To love with all my heart.
To let others in, letting them love me too.
I have to hide behind this mask, hide the monster within.
No one should ever know the real me.

Who am I?
I stand there looking in the mirror
Watching, waiting for the answer.
That young face aged from the many pains hidden away.
Those hazel eyes burning deep holes into my soul, searching for that piece of lost happiness.
These soft hands clinging to her used body.  This body that is torn, hated, unappreciated.
Her pretty hair tattered from the many sleepless nights.
She stands there looking back at me but that is not what others see.
So then who am I?
I know who I want to see sometimes I can see her staring back at me.
Her face shining from the happiness as bright as the sun.
Never angry, not a worry in her heart.
Her eyes so soft and voice as sweet as a song.
Love overflowing from her like the oceans breeze.
She is young.
She is beautiful.
She is ****.
She is me
but it is just a dream.

Heavens sky beneath my feet as I wonder the inevitable. Clumps of earth falling upon my head. Dust clouds vision. Eyes burning and blurred. Hands searching what eyes can’t see. Muted ears can only feel the violent throbbing coming from my chest. Off in the distance a voice summons.  Veins dialate as adrenaline rushes through like a raging river.  Wondering the inevitable as I seek your angelic voice.  My voice trembles as I call out to you.  Pleading pleading pleading for you to find my desperate soul.