I lay in bed at night.
Wishing
Hoping
Praying
Dreading
Goodbye.

"Come here little dolly," they said.
Snip, snip.
"You won't miss the pieces we cut out of you one bit."
Snip.
"There went kindness."
Snip.
"There went caring."
Snip.
"Now let's change the clothes that you're wearing!"
Snip.
"There goes anger."
Snip.
"There goes pain."
Snip.
"Now you can stop worrying, and don't be so vain."
Snip.
"There went trust."
Snip.
"There went joy."
Snip.
"Now you are worthy of the love from this boy."

Be yourself,
Wait!
Not that much.
You make me uncomfortable.
PLEASE, always be you.
Not when it's inconvenient for me.

So who is it, then, that I am supposed to be?

I am a blade of grass
Keep mowing me down but I grow back every time
Until you pull me up by my roots
Not even your fire can **** me

Pacing back and forth like a Tiger in a cage unable to process this primal rage
Wanting to know what is it that comes next knowing and everybody thinks that if they distract me with shiny objects...
I will just go away.

Thinking if you can just hold this off just one more day, this will be the thing that you don't have to say. I know I'm the problem, I see it in myself. You don't have to tell me that you're ready to put me up on a shelf.

Medicines line these walls and yet all the emptiness inside still draws all my energy into this black hole, ******* out my entire soul.

Demon heart pulls you in
Making you love me is a sin
Walking through life in a trance
I  brought you into this devil's dance
Suddenly feeling unchained
In this dream we can't be tamed
Hold me close and love me deep
Wake me never from this sleep

Slipping in and out of consciousness listening to the words of others
Pulling my own bones from my body waiting on you eternal.
Fuzzy electric, feeling eclectic.
My skull opening to provide access to my brain open wide.
Free falling through color and sound.
Waiting and wanting to be found.
Lucid dreaming, body screaming
A soul crying out.
Pleasure and pain wracking my body and brain.
It's enough to make me feel insane.