I’m in this
Weird loop I can’t get Out of
Weird thing I can’t get out of

Over and Over hearing the same melody
It’s groundhogs day ; so steadily steady

This weird loop I can’t get out of
Weird thing I can’t get out of

Wait,
I said that already

Gray walls and gray beds
Sun could smile
But it’s dead

Wind could talk
But it’s to quiet

Heart could feel
Yet it just beats instead

Mind and memories
Drowning out the things around
Eyes they close, to not feel so bound

The brush I raise
Out of these cold hands of mine
Paint as you please Lindsey
Paint the things you like

Why don’t you paint the sun a golden yellow shining on you
And paint the sky a nice shade of blue

With a line of orange, purple and pink
Along to the bottom of the dark, glassy sea
Paint what you see

I open my eyes to find a room full of color
The wind from my window and the sun from the sky
find one another

A hand on my heart
Something I once tried to hide
A brand new start
I found hope inside

Vitals beat
Enlarging my capacity
Awaken to a new thought in me
To stand stronger today

I am stronger today

What happened in the past is yesterday
Does it matter? Yes
Did it make a change? I guess  
But does it leave me in distress?

To lift the elephant; so to speak
So my heart has lifted much greater things
But I’m alive and thankful that I can breath

I am a stronger woman today

What happened n the past is yesterday
Does it matter? Yes
Did it make a change? I guess
But does it leave me in distress?

No.
Not today...

Take control of me
I’m learning to know my enemies
And I’m scared to walk where I can’t see
I’m learning, and it’s you I need

Please, take control and fuse
These arms, these hands, next to you
These vitals try to stay unglued
But I’m alive most
When I choose you

In the middle
I need a leader now
To run in your arms
If you just tell me how

Take control of me and see
I’ll be the person you called me to be
If you are the light inside that caused me to breath
I can Run with you, hand in hand
FREE

I’m awake to my own crippling
Knowing that it’s crippiling me

Aware ite like my own branded disease
I’m awak to it...yet no one can see

So silenced by my own homemade fears
It’s something I need
Yelling out to save me
Yet no one is here

I’m awake
Yes, I know

To stop this madness
I don’t want to, but I have to
Let go

This boy, my boy that went away
Couldn’t make myself allow him to stay

He was the burn to my fire that caused my pain
The percipitation in the clouds that caused the rain

Here oh now
My heart reach lack
He was the one I gave everything to
But the one that never gave back

Allowed in my cries
Yet no one could hear
This boy comes back like a Holliday each year

The ******* and seize
In an old weary soul
So my mind won’t cease  
to leave me alone

The blood in my veins
He reveled within
The one who has always
Cause me to sin

I had heartaches
I had tragedy
I had broken people surrounding me
I had love
I had lies
The people to whom I said goodbye
My confusion, my pain
Innocence broken
But a strength to gain
I hope one more thing will come from all of this
For the sun and for my eyes to finally kiss
A heart still beating
A dream still near
Find the sun...
Because it’s still here

-Lindsey Christopherson