If I let myself
I love deeply
From within my bones
I’d give it all
But
It takes time
You have to be patient
And you have to be willing to try hard
I’m not the first box in the grocery store
The one that all the kids touch
The outside maybe be dented or scratched
I am the box on the very inside
Fresh from the factory
No child has touched me
No damage has been done
The contents may be the same
The taste won’t be any different
But the quality will be higher
If you want quality you know where to find me
If not
Enjoy the first box you can get your hands on

I want to be your “good night” and “good morning”
The girl you can’t stop thinking about
After everything,
I deserve to be fallen in love with
Head over heels
I want you to know that I’m not going to wait for you
Anything we could have had is over
The possibility of any kind of romantic relationship
I won’t let happen
I need someone to be there for me since day one
I don’t chase people
I don’t put in more effort than you
I live my life exactly how I drive
Looking forward

But there are good things I did.
I found solstice in art,
In music, and in other people
I found peace in the silence that I sat in for so long.
I became better by pouring my heart out over sheets of paper,
Writing down every heart breaking idea that ever crossed my mind
I'm ****** up still but I don't want anyone cutting themselves on my shattered pieces.
Yes, I smoked because I was sad.
Yes, I broke hearts because I couldn't find myself.
So yeah, I did **** I'm not proud of but I got through it.
We all will.
We will be the generation with scars that loiter all over our bodies.
With invisible tattoos that read "we ******* made it"

it doesn't matter
nothing matters
once again
i'm having a ****** summer
i didn't have any expectations
yet
here i am
with all of this disappointment
if you were wondering
no
depression doesn't go away
it'll always be there
at least that's something you can count on

You told me to stop complaining
So I stopped talking
You told me to be skinnier
So I ate less
You told me to be stop being negative
So I wore a smile on my face
When you asked me why I tried to **** myself
I told you that I wanted to be myself
I wanted to be happy
I wanted to be want you wanted me to be
I don’t know why you were so confused
Isn’t that what you wanted?

It took me forever to find someone I believe I could depend on,
Now I just have to run with that.
I can’t let these fears rule my mind forever,
Like a clock going around and around,
Fixed at the same point forever
I can’t keep letting days, and weeks go by
Not doing anything to ensure my happiness.
I need to move on,
Stop worrying
And let life take me where I need to go.
I don’t want to stay here, I’m not happy.
I need to move on,
Though I would prefer to be with you…
After long conversations and me going over it again and again in my head,
I came to the conclusion that
I wasted time on people
Who weren’t good enough for me
Weren’t what I need
Weren’t the one and
Weren’t worth it
I’m disappointed that it took me this long to this conclusion
Trial and error I suppose
It’s easy to move on when there’s no feelings left
And I’m happy to report
I found someone new
I’m confident he’s worth all my time
It was fun moving on
It showed me that there are still good people out there
You just have to get through the ****** ones first.

I have too many feelings for my own good and maybe they don't keep me up at night, but they sure make me tired enough to sleep for months. I guess the difference is that since I can still hold a job and put my shoes on, I don't have a right to be distraught for no reason. Just because you can't see my eternal rain cloud doesn't mean I can't feel it. Seeing is believing, but my smile can be deceiving. Look, I don't expect you to understand or help me up. I just want you to leave me the **** alone.

You came just as things began to settle. Like dust in an empty house. The windows are broken and the door is sealed shut, but that didn’t stop you from fixing it right up. You didn’t leave me in the dark to collect more dust. You left the light on and made sure I came back home.

it's important for those who you care about, to know that you're there for them. it doesn't matter if you can give advice or not, simply listening (for the most part) is the most important. simply saying "i'm here for you" can make a huge difference in someone's struggle. it could be what saves them. be mindful of others, everyone has a story. hopefully we all get to share.

I know nothing of love
I never have
I never had the chance
I was too busy worrying
Waiting
I was too scared
So I never let myself live
I never opened up
So I either pushed them away
Or let them fade
I'm terrified of being vulnerable
One day
I hope to change
But until then
I'm sorry for not letting you in

i haven't cried this hard since my grandma died.
idk what happened to you.
you were such a good friend.
always there
always cared
i was wrong.
i'm sorry for wasting your time
******* too i guess.

But that’s the thing,
Life isn’t a fairy tale.
There’s no happy ending
That’s why I’m so worried
Because I may not have that happy ending
Maybe it’s too early to tell
Maybe I’m just being paranoid.
But my fears are real
And I don’t want them to come true.

After all these years
Who would have thought?
Being brave
Would get me going where I wanted to
The fact that a few words
Can change everything
I’m not saying this will be perfect
Nor am I saying this will work out at all
All I know is
It’s working now
I’m happy now
And that’s all that needs to matter

You said that you don’t feel the need to answer
Yet you still want to talk to me
I wasn’t ever good at English,
But honey you’re contradicting
If this is your way of revenge
Or closer
Fine
Be a trick
I’m done
I’m done worrying
About you
About us
About everything I can’t change.

I became a very negative person. Usually when you tell people things like that, they simply say it’s a phase and you’ll get over it. Time passes, they forget about it and you never changed. The thing about seeking advice is that no one really cares, especially if they have never experienced it, and it just doesn’t sink in their pea sized brains that you’re hurting and the fact that you’re going to them says a lot about how they feel about you. People are selfish and stupid and unless it directly affects them, they’d rather not talk about it. I’m not saying you should keep it all inside. I’m not saying you should hate everyone because they’re stupid. They’re stupid, but don’t hate them. What I’m trying to say is that when you’re trying to ask for advice, find someone who has been there. Someone who would care about whatever it is that is bothering you. Please don’t waste your time with stupid people. Write, vent or do anything other than keeping it in. don’t be a ticking time bomb, be a dormant volcano. Who will never have a chance of exploding. Take care of yourself and don’t be stupid.

Every song is no longer about you
It’s funny how fast things change
One day you’re in
The next day you’re out.
That’s life I suppose
Running and running
Never catching a break
I guess it’s fun if you like the chase
After a long period of time
Hide and seek becomes old
Games never suited me anyway

I’m starting to forget how to feel
I miss how my heart used to light up when you talked to me
How no matter what I knew I was safe
You left me when I needed you most and now I am lost.
I took a wrong turn somewhere and I have no idea where I am.
I’m drowning in worry and I keep seeing shadows
Thinking I got saved.
I won’t be able to survive this alone,
Will someone come save me?

I am the reason I am unhappy
I used outside forces to make it so
I can’t let myself go
I have to be in control
I need to let go
****** things have happened, yes
But I can't keep letting that be the reason why
Moving on will be hard
Being content and happy will be harder
But the end result will be my cleanse
And hopefully I won't have to do all this again.

If the saying,
"You are what you eat"
Is true,
Then,
You must eat,
A lot of ***.

Even for that short period of time
You were a chapter
In a book about my life
Dedicated to all of the people who saved me
Who taught me
About life
About love
About mistakes
About how no matter how hard you try
You’ll always love them
From the moon and back
Always

There's something in the way you walk
That caught my attention
What it was i'm not sure
But you are beautiful
In every sense of the word
And it would be a shame
If this was my only poem about you
There's something in the way you hug me
It's as if you're sheltering me from the world
That you want me and only me
On the other hand
You are confusing as ****
You are the type of guy
That treats everyone the same
No favorites
No special treatment
Nice Nice Nice
You are so captivating,
I cannot find the words to describe you
It would be a shame if this is all i ever know about you

Life is confusing and hard and I don’t know what I’m doing. I want someone to be there so I don’t have to feel like this every ******* night when I’m alone. Yes, I have friends and family but that isn’t the same as having someone there-there, Holding you, It’s different when it’s romance. You don’t stay up late because you’re sad and alone… you stay up because talking to them is better than sleep. I know that I have problems. I can’t keep people around too long. I can’t help it. I just never had someone that pulls me back. That doesn’t let me push them away. It’s not that I am desperate. It’s not that I HAVE to have someone in my life. I just can’t keep telling myself it’s going to be okay. I’m a ****** liar.

Please don't tell me I am beautiful if you can't see past my sadness. Please don't tell me I'm kind unless you plan to walk a mile in my shoes. My body was a temple. Like a castle, it was guarded by a dragon and surrounded by a moat. Now I was left for dead, and my carcass is a museum for what happened to me. Just, I may not be able to change what happened, but I can and will choose where I go from here. My past is no longer in control. I am strong and thank god I stayed that way. My walls may have started crumbling down and yeah, the roof is caving in but things like that can be fixed. I will be fixed. You never come out the way you came, and I will make my own path out.

It’s an odd feeling
When you try to make yourself stop caring
But then that’s all you end up doing.
I’m not saying I want to make it right
I’m not saying that you deserve another chance
And I’m not saying that we would work
All I’m saying is;
It’s not like you didn’t mean anything to me
It’s not that I hate you
It’s just, I wish things ended different
I’m not sorry
I won’t ever be
I just never stopped caring.

Everyone has a different way to deal with their ****
Some totally ignore it
Some avoid it for a time
Some dwell
I’ve never been good at choosing my words
And I don’t consider myself to be anywhere close to writing well
I just need to avoid my problems
Or at least doing something about them
I feel like I can’t talk to anyone
I feel like it’s just a joke now
I don’t think anyone cares
Or if they do
They are almost as ******* at talking as me
I just don’t want to have fears anymore
I don’t want to think I can’t talk to anyone
It’s just
I never had
Or let
Anyone stay
Anyone fight to stay
I feel alone
And hurt
And I’m scared
Everyone is moving on
And I stayed still

To get to where I want to be
I have to do something I could never conceive
Not worrying
Not obsessing
To let things take whatever path they chose
And I should simply follow
Opposed to “taking the road less traveled”
Simply follow which ever path I was led to
In other words
I need to go with the flow
In order to get what I want
And if what I want is you,
I need to be patient
And do something I have never done.

I’m going to live, not survive.
I have spent too much time,
Worrying, waiting
Not letting myself be me
I decided
I’m going to do me
I’m going to do what makes me happy
With those who make me so
I don’t want to hurt you
But if he makes me happy…
Well
I’m going to go for it

He's new to me, but has been around for awhile. It's odd to me how someone who you knew of and never really thought of before can suddenly, and quickly, become the center of all your thoughts. My friends have known and been friends with you for years and just a week ago you came into focus. I never thought you would ever be part of my life.

In light of that, advice that came to mind while writing this, a girl i used to be friends with once said "The best things come when you don't expect them."

I hope that you will be one of those things.
Even if we don't end up being romantic, i do hope we become friends because you are beautiful in every sense of the word and it would be a disappointment to be unable to captivate that beauty.

B.M

It took me a long time to come to terms with it
But when (I) said to you “I miss you”
I was expecting a “I (don’t) care”
Or an “ok cool.”
Not a “I (miss) you too”
But when (you) started ignoring me
(I) knew that I was just fooling myself
(Don’t) take this the wrong way
I don’t (want) to be mean
Just (to) think that you (care)
Would be foolish.

It takes a long time to figure out who is there for you
And who isn’t.
I have people in my life
That even when we fight and curse
We’re always there for each other
Then there are people
Who I wouldn’t waste my time with
Guess which you are.

You weren't ever the one
If you were, you wouldn't have left
I'm upset right now, yes
But as the sun rises and sets
It will pass
Time will go on
And soon enough
You will be forgotten