I think you may have the
rare
ability to understand me.

I don't know whether or not
to laugh,
to crouch back in fear,
to cry,
with sorrow or
relief,
or mask myself again entirely.

After all this waiting,
I still don't know if I'm ready to reveal myself yet.

I'm at the start of something terrifying
but even though, you are the cause.
I'm still glad
to have you
here
next to me.

I'm crying at your words of solace,
they're so close to where I'm hiding.
Hiding the true me.

I'm starting to think
you can already see.

This is taking a whole new type of brave.

And so I was a merely a balm
a relief to the break in your life
and it was a blessing to bring calm
to soothe that inner strife

But once a wound is healed
the healer is sent away
I guess my fate was always sealed
I could not cause that resolution sway

I relished our time together
my ability to bring a smile
no matter the stormy weather
you made my time worthwhile.

But now that smile is hers
to draw across your face
and I know that in your mind
I will never find a trace
of me again.

I stood at the sea edge
looking into the precipice
mud on my shoes
and a hole in my heart.

This time I asked for nothing
there were no more questions
as there were no more answers
of hope, I was, devoid.

I was already falling
air ripped from my lungs
numb of all emotion
good or bad.

I searched my heart for
something;
a rope,
a ladder,
a foothold.
Anything to once more
hold me to this life.

At first glance I found nothing.

And then Something
snagged,
a face full of pain,
of disappointment,
of grief.
An immovable object in
my current of life.

I couldn't leave her.

Of all others I thought nought.
But I could not, and would not,
abandon this one for the world.

You saved my life that night.

My beautiful walking Angel,
please don't fly away.

It was only you who could lift
me, from the darkest night and
days
of life without her.

My walking Angel.

He talks as though he has one foot
above,
he walks this earth afloat
already. Leaving me fitfully to
wait, in my safely anchored boat.
He's so sure of his inadequacy,
yet I would gladly soak myself in fear,
just so that I could have him near.

Sweet glorious Angel.
Clipped wings yet so ready to fly.
If you were to die, then part
of me would surely go too.

I'm already bound to you.

We both chose immediately to
shield that which makes us,
from others,
yet to each other, we managed not
to yield to the temptation of
our defences.
In spite of the offences of those who've
gone past, leaving a lasting brand
in our skin,
of each terrible individual sin.
Each scar wrought within.

Innocent Angel.

I am completely vulnerable to you.
Usually so overly aware of danger,
I have already, affectively,
sworn my life to you.

This next page is yours.

Dangerous Angel.

Whether you lift me up to fall,
or pull me down to drown,
I shall walk where you tread.
A breadcrumb trail of tears in my wake,
as I am shaken awake from your
dream
Your soul left to rest in the gleam of
my eye.

An unsnuffable candle
to guide you back to me.

Athiest Angel, I was asleep before
you came
and awoke me with your kiss,
jerking my heart from it's
Ivy covered cage,
our instantaneous gauge
of our compatibility
creating a feasibility
of merging.

Gentle Angel.

You took my beating soul
and gouged it with
a caress,
spelt your name
and my destruction,
with your irresistible seduction
of vulnerability,
and tranquility
of purity.

My tender Angel.

Your knifepoint was always fated
for my ribs.
Take me with you if you leave,
allow me to anchor-
no better- hold you,
and embolden you to be
whatever the ******* want to be.

With your battered suitcase of a soul.
How many more kicks can you take
before they pack you in?
The irony in that the sin was never yours.
I abhor those who chose to lord over you.
Please come aboard my raft of
defiance, which is learning the science
of your chemistry.

Darling Angel.  

I do not wish you to fall or fly,
instead remain afloat,
allow me to paddle my unshakeable boat
towards you,
with a view of amorous intentions.

My salvation,
who will surely be
my downfall,
my Samson.

I know what you have undone.

Me.

Hello in-built shell,
how shell-fish of me to think
I could avoid your beckoning
bell, of self pity.
Let us welcome in Sin-City.

Here is every bad thought you've
ever had.
Every signal sad wander
clad in bleak black memory.
The goodness drifting away
in a puddle of ink,
removing my ability to think
clearly.
No matter how dearly I cling to
the loved ones.

Look to your right and there's the
childhood.
Which you would not change even
if you could.
Because, detested as it seems, I still
feel a gleam of familiarity and
clarity
from my gloriously ****** up family.

Look to your left and you'll see yourself,
bereft of all emotion,
going through the motions of
life,
burning cold, rife
with emptiness.
Positively cesspit.

Look down, not straight ahead,
and you'll see all of the relationships
left dead on the highway of life.
The ghosts of what you said
pinning them anchored to drown,
stapled further by words
you regretted typing down.

Look up, far up in the sky,
endless arch of black,
dark harpies shrilly whispering
all that you lack.
The only crack of light, lightning,
allowing further attack
on your senses.
It dispenses quickly with
the pleasantries.

You're a regular here.

Now look sharp straight ahead,
stop stooping with dread.
Look up to the light, and fight
for the figure you see.
Look past the debris, and into her
eyes,
whose blue offers glimpses of less
stormy skies.
They speak of cold coffee, and
too milky tea.

Pedal your boat faster

She's where you're meant to be.

Think Positivity.

If I could take the blows I would
If I could find a way
to shield your mind from pain, I'd do
that which I know that I should
do,
which is to protect you,
to me that is what is truly true.

I shall not pity, nor pander to
your pains,
for I know that will not help.
With you the key to many problems
is your own brand of self-help.

I hear your sighs, the unsaid silence,
the way with which you obviously
mind, your mind.
I wish that I could reach inside
and embrace the part you choose
to hide to others.
To lift the covers and show you,
the right world built anew.

I want to take the frame and change it from askew.

All I can do is let you know that I'm here.
All I can do is attempt to appear at the
exact point that you need me.
All I can do is make sure you see
that whatever you will be,
you will never lose me.

I've just seen you
New you
Old you is gone
Lost in the melody of the
Song which once ours
"I'm no superman, I
Hope you like me as I am"
Pity that songs aren't always true.
Old me misses the old you.
But new me can see,
That you and I were never meant to be.

When you saw me I saw no shock
Not even a hit on the lock of your heart
Which I so longed never to part with.
I was so innocent then
That was back when, I was pure
And demure
And sure that none could ever want me
Unaware of the power of the stare
Upon me bare
Unaware of the care I should have kept with me there
In your sights
Every part of me convinced you were about to take flight
Leaving me with only ragged feathers
To clutch in the night of my terrors
And pray and wish it wasn't true
That I had lost my only purity:
You.