look at me
I watch as you sit
by yourself
and strum on the bass
cracking a joke
making the whole class laugh

look at me
i watch as you sit alone on the bus
joking with the bus drivier
laughing as she rolls her eyes at you

look at me
i watch as you crack a joke in class
scooting your desk around
annoying the teacher as she teaches

look at me
i'm looking at you
helplessly thinking these lines
as you crack another joke
unaware and unaffected by these helpless emotions i possess

look at me
i lent you a pencil
you own something i once held
but you got numerous pencils that day
will you use mine?

look at me
you once picked up my pencil
my voice fluttered saying thanks
you didn't respond
did you notice i was blushing?

look at me
i'm helpless
another dumb crush
another dumb line uttering the same exact thing
'look at me'*
in my head.

Happiness can come from the simplest forms.

A simple children's show can reform memories from a childhood
When everything was simple
Depression was unknown
And the funniest thing was when Gary would meow.

Or an old song can bring back memories from your first dance
Or when you were young and darted across the floor shouting along
'ain't no hollaback girl!'

Anything can bring good memories
You just need to think
and remember.

Less than two years ago, you were my best friend.
We would stay up every night and talk, creating fictional worlds were we lived our dreams.
Two antipathetic, pessimistic kids against the world.
Running on little sleep, we'd create this worlds until we ran out of ideas.
Then destroy them and start over.

A year ago, things changed.
Like all good ideas, you run low on them.
So we stopped creating and talked about us, our life, and how we'd end up.
Hours on end, we'd talk about how we had no future, no path, and how we'd create our own.
But then something else happened, you made new friends that year.
I already had new friends.
They're great friends, I never had friends like them.
I'd try to tell stories about them like you did with yours, but you'd give me a 'cool' answer.
So I shut up.
They too meant the same to me that you did.
After all, you're my best friend too.
But like best friends do, I never left you.
I never could.
You were my best friend.

Less than four months ago, it was my birthday.
Like all birthdays, that day wasn't special for me.
Birthdays never are special to me.
I apologized for not buying you a gift for your birthday earlier that year.
My dad had lost his job last year and I'm low on cash
Plus, I'm not doing too good mentally, and emotionally.
You said it's fine, and got me a gift anyway.
With that gift, you wrote a letter.
You're not good with words, but you were saying I saved your life and I'm your best friend.
None of your friends get you quite like I do.
I cried, because for the most part, it's the same for me.

Less than a month ago, you stopped talking to me.
Our conversations grew into petty arguments anyway.
You never did listen to me.
I should've known you never did care from the way you never listened to me.
You would talk about yourself, and not care about me
And if I did, the answers were so vague.
okay, cool
But I still ached to talk to you.
I'll never know why.
Another thing I'll never know is, if I truly was your friend
How would it be so easy to forget me?