Holly

Holly Jan 2019

Sickness

This sickness inside me is ever growing
It is silent, deadly, and without my knowing
Has attacked me when I wasn't even looking
Cheap shot if you ask me

Draining my energy, my will to fight back
I'm drying up, lips beginning to crack
I can barely move, it turns to black
All I can do is sleep

Sleep, change position, rinse, repeat
It is challenging to compete
I just feel like a chunk of meat
Rotting as I lay here

This sickness is killing me.

Holly Jan 2019

Dinner

The table is set
It's set for two
One plate for me
One plate for you
Food in the oven
Being Prepared
But where are you..
Nowhere

I'm all alone
While you sit on your throne
While my heart has become prone
To your harsh elements.

I eat all alone
Clean up, and move on
This has become our lives now.

Holly Jan 2019

Distance

At opposite ends of the couch, we sit
we sleep here too
we tell ourselves the bed is too small,
but what we really want is space from each other

why have things changed
we used to share the same bed
but things are different now

when all is said and done I know the real reason
you want to leave me, you do not love me,
you have not for a while

you want your distance.

Holly Jan 2019

Danger

I might be in the red zone
unable to clear my head
I don't trust you anymore
your lied that I've been fed.

You call yourself a "God"
and make all these promises
but when a loyal follower has a need
you just make them beg

I begged and begged and begged for years
"Please let me have a child."
You dangled it right in my face
the child I will never have

My life now feels empty
so completely incomplete
its filled with overwhelming dread
can't get this out of my head.

Holly Jan 2019

Just a Dream

On a lighter note I tell you
it was not always bad
we snuggled up close together
inside out cozy bed

I looked into your eyes
that night that we were wed
I held you as I sang goodnight
and wiped away your tears.

We fell asleep embraced together
help you all night long
no love was made that night
just bonding, made us strong

I long for that time again
each night I lay to sleep
to have you next to me again
If only, just a dream

Holly Jan 2019

Mine Again

I miss the love we used to make
the small lingering in the air
our sweet aroma lingering all around
under the covers there.

Our room was the safe place
your arms wrapped around me tight
I listened to your heart beating
all through the rest of the night

Our bed has long been empty
the space beside me bare
the couch is your new place of rest
all on your very own

I lay alone at night and think
what drove us this far apart
did I care too much
cling too tight,
was I too much to bare

I take responsibility
for the damage that's been done
I'll lay alone at night wondering whats the cost

Will I ever have my husband back
and by my side once more
How do I figure out a way
to make you mine again

Holly Jan 2019

Remove Your Mask

Please remove the mask you wear
I want to see your face
the monster that you've become, My Dear
the one you've always been.

Please remove the mask you wear
let me see your eyes
I've looked longingly into them for years now
but they are not the same.

Please remove the mask you wear
that smile on your face
has been replaced with teeth like daggers
sneering at me always

I will no longer by a fool
fall for the games you play
I no longer live by your rules
I leave you today