The Tears of an Angel fall quietly in the night.
Broken wings cannot take flight.
Hopeless dreams, desperate aspirations.
Reserved and shy, future salutations.
Heavy is the heart that's left behind.
Opened eyes are now found blind.
Reconciling pinions and mending wounds.
For lifetimes passages beneath full moons.
Another touch, Downey feathers fall.
With hope for love, to receive the call.
Gently mourning with each moment passing.
Waiting for love's kiss everlasting.
Steadfast and patient but the angels still cry.
Once she is free, the angels again fly.
Ladonna Atherley.

TO CONQUER LONLINESS, WE MUST FIRST JOIN THE BATTLE...

I lie awake at night, and watch the world sleep.
The stars rise and fall in the sky...
Still, no one joins me; no one hears my cry.
My heart bleeds from wounds of my own making.
Will they ever heal?
OH! When will the lamenting end?
Sad times; lost loves; broken promises; Time wasted.
Freedom is far from this place.
How I long to be at peace.
At peace with myself; at peace with the world.
Fear, Death, Reality,
All that I run from;
Not "fear", the unknown, uncontrollable.
Not Death but dying, Alone.
Not reality but truth.
Truth be told, life is good.
Lonliness is a personal battle,
Never faught, never won.
NEVER...,
The conqurer

Above the lake, amber rays of golden sun pierce the morning sky.
Crystal clear dew drops acts as prisms
On the blades of brilliant green grass and leaves.
The fauna around the lake are quiet and still,
Except for a single bald eagle in search of a morning meal.
Oh! The majesty.
Her pristine white head;
Her regal posturing and hunting techniques…
She is nothing less than awesome.
The lakes reflection mirrors the lake and mountains that surround it, so perfectly; one cannot tell where the lake ends and the sky begins.
They appear as one, seamless…
Perfect.

It’s hard to be in the “here and now”,
When your mind is continuously flooded with memories of the past and fears about the future.
The “I can’t believe” and “What if’s”,
That haunt me almost hourly,
Seem to pull me from the “here and now”.
What exactly does that mean?
A state of mind, perhaps?
Constantly being aware of one’s surroundings?
I’ve been from time to time…
When observing nature or something beautifully awe inspiring.
But is that what’s meant by “the here and now”?
Until I discover its meaning; I suppose,
I'll have to stay “there, and then”,
Rather than “Here and Now”.

Head is foggy,
Knees shake,
Hands quake.
Suicidal again.
Cotton mouth,
Nausea,
Lightheaded,
Suicidal again.
Numb,
Confusion,
Head is aching.
Suicidal again.
Distant voices,
Hot and cold flashes,
Suicidal again.
Pain,
Tears,
Self destructive behavior,
Suicidal again.
Exhaustion,
Isolation,
Self medication,
Suicidal again.
Chain smoke,
Can’t eat,
Suicidal again.
Gods turned his back on me;
I’ll turn my back on him.
Suicidal again.
Truly,
The only way out…
Suicidal again.

Shadow boxes skip playfully and dance in the air
In front of me.
Catch one , live forever.
Floating,
Like ice on a crystal lake.
Breathing and alive,
together we are one.
Pictures captured,
Darkness controlling.
Beauty enhanced.
Wonderland.
Touch it freely.
Intoxicating.
****** space,
****** no more…
Beheld for the first time,
By me.

Loneliness;
An emotion I know all too well.
I feel it intensely.
Sometimes it’s too much.
I can hear my heart beating,
Breaking within the silence.
I’m missing you.
I have the memory of you etched in my mind
And upon my spirit.
I know we will never be;
And this saddens me further.
I’m missing you.
I am hopeful that we might, one day, meet again;
If only for a brief goodbye.
I’m missing you so.
Perhaps on the other side of this life,
There is an eternity in which we are together.
My spirit has been forever painted by the colors of your aura.
I’m missing you.
I can only imagine the joy and warmth your touch would bring.
I’ll live on the dream,
The hope and the wish for your love and attention.
I know while we live, I will never receive what I want,
What I need from you;
I’m still missing you.