This is me
Again
Offering the rare and exotic
Five million in a lifetime
Opportunity
To talk to me
By tomorrow
It’ll be five million and three

Do you feel bled on?
Or vomited on?
Smelly uncomfortable
Purged onto the page
In front of you
Or is it a delicious stew
Intoxicating
Toxicly
Is that what it be?
Wish I knew
How I feel to you

You have engulfed yourselves
In the flames of your lost cause
To see it through
You will ignore laws
Show your own
Hypocrisies
Whine and cry
And moan about imaginary
Disparities
You have become more
Irritating
Than an infestation
Of fleas

On this journey with no end in sight
And I can’t figure out
Whether to turn left or turn right
Or turn back
On what may be a futile fight
Long, lonely night
Trying to see a little bit of light
With all of my might
I ain’t got the right
To ask you to help me take flight

I have no walls
I am an open field as far as you can see
I refuse to blueprint my soul
By past wins and losses
I have no walls
But a strong reflex to flee
As soon as I dislike something I see

How flighty is the memory?
Some things we forget
Immediately
“Did I say I’d help you move?
Oh no; I forgot
I’m so sorry”
Other things, though
Stay in our minds
So long
Until the end of your time
That girl who talked crap
When you were eleven
You’ll be remembering her
When you’re in Heaven
But when hubby tells  you
“Wow, you look great”
That memory won’t even last the day
We’re a flighty  bunch
We human beings
Selective with our memories

It was like in the cartoons
When gravity doesn't work
If you think you're standing on Something solid
And then I looked down
And realized I wasn't on ground
And you had no wings to be found
Not sure how we got up here
But it's painfully clear
We're about to fall down

It’s not that I deny my damage
Honey,
I’m a hott mess
Gristled over, sharp edges
Rooms that will change you forever if you open the door
For better or worse
Of course
We won’t be the same
I like myself enough
To know I got the guts
To get through the rough
I see in you
The one with the right stuff
Make me corny enough to write this fluff

Mistakes on the front page
At first it annoyed me
Then it made me proud
To belong to a community
That celebrates imperfection
Fluid birth
And fluid beauty
Feels like the way it’s supposed to be

He caught my attention
With honorable mention
I was looking the other way
But land sakes alive
I’m feeling his vibe
And I’m hoping he’s here to stay

Apparently
I happen to be
The most interesting subject
In my town
As boring as my life is
In reality
Someone imagines
I’m living it up
So crazily
And they want to
Knock me down
I suppose it’s a compliment
To be focus of so much attention
But I’d rather feel the insult
Of not even being mentioned

You are like a window pain
All fogged up and wet from rain
You like to think you are see through
But you're hidden behind
That foggy view
You are not so crystal clear
You distort it all
My dear
Vapors clogging up the sight
Can't see between
What's wrong or right

There is no pill
For
Draining will
After using every bit of skill
Still
Uphill
To some distant peak
I may or may not ever reach
And that’s me thinking optimistically
The logical part of me
Can clearly see
I am looking foolishly
Begging for attention from somebody
Who clearly isn’t interested in me
And this I need to force myself to see
So I can search for something I can achieve

Boy
I say boy,
That chick is a fox

If I didn’t know better
I’d assume she wanted the pain
She keeps grabbing the hot ***
By anything but the handle
She uses her finger to put out the candle
Melted wax
Dries on her hands
Leaving it’s fake skin behind
And she picks it off
Complains about it
And repeats it every time
She wears flip flops in the snow
Complains her feet are cold
She refuses to freeze any leftovers
And ******* when they get mold
It’s hard to be around her
Her game is getting old
Her friends are looking at their hands
And thinking they should fold

It's just how it goes down
Sometimes
Two people with all the ingredients
For a perfect romance
But the meats and the vegetables
Just will not dance
And we wind up with
Gross on our plate
Being with you
Is like mixing parmesan cheese
With Boston baked beans
At first it's like
"Hmmm, it might be good."
Til the beans and the cheese
Meet in your mouth
And you no longer play with
Your food

It will happen
One day
When one you trusted
Will turn and betray
You’ll feel like a sucker
Let yaself get played
But you’re not the one on the fade
The real fool in the room
Is the one who
Looses you

The joke
Is on you and me
And every single one of us
Occasionally
There is not one
Among
So **** cool
That they never played the fool

My mind is always brought to you
Something you would say
Or something you'd do
Take me to the days
When I did them with you
How could you be
So fun and sweet
Which makes it such a crime
That you lie all the time

The woods are most appreciated
By people who have no desire to
Live in them
Underrated
Beauty
Is used to turned backs

Money talks
But it don't sing and dance and it don't walk
And long as I can have you here with me
I'd much rather be forever in blue jeans
Honey's sweet
But it ain't nothin' next to baby's treat
And if you'd pardon me, I'd like to say
We'd do okay forever in blue jeans
Maybe tonight
Maybe tonight, by the fire
All alone, you and I
Nothing around but the sound
Of my heart and your sighs
Money talks
But it can't sing and dance and it can't walk
And long as I can have you here with me
I'd much rather be forever in blue jeans, babe
And honey's sweet
But it ain't nothin' next to baby's treat
And if you'll pardon me, I'd like to say
We'd do okay, forever in blue jeans
Maybe tonight
Maybe tonight, by the fire
All alone, you and I
Nothing around but the sound
Of my heart and your sighs

I couldn’t have tried any harder
Put in heart and soul
Displayed and splayed out
Open, like a wound
Festered
Blistered
Splintered
And broke
You witnessed it all
Til it turned to smoke
All the effort
Nothing is gained
Lost is hope and confidence
Only the ashes remain
Along with the sooty stain
I know I have no right to complain
All the liberties I take
You gave me none
For goodness sake

Keep your trash
Keep your dust
Keep your old bike full of rust
Keep dead leaves upon your lawn
Keep the reasons you won’t turn the lights on
Keep your old, familiar ways
Keep your always the same days
I can’t make you drop antiquity
But I can make you not keep me

I am the old lady
Stumbling down a dark, hard path
Telling myself there’s sunlight
And I’m frolicking in the grass
Gassed up grassed up
Ready to go
Fast or slow
Waiting to know
Which direction to go

You say you're apathetic
Yet you stress every detail
You say he's not your type
Yet you stalk him without fail
You say you're hard at work
When you're no where near dirt
And according to you
You always win
And you wonder why
No one wants to play again
When you know **** well
You cheat to win

I cannot understand how he could have
Fallen  for her
An otherwise perfect man
Feeding the greedy cat with the
Persistent purr
Glamour on the skin
Pettiness within
How he missed all that
Before he got too far in
Is so far from right
It’s almost a sin.
Still smell ****
From what that man stepped in
It will bring stress and strife
Falling for the beautiful ***
Without making sure it’s well-wiped

I been silly
It would seem
Working on a dream
But work is tedious
I feel inspired
Crafted by a Master
Against his will
The monster he created
Has a brain, still

It wasn’t a let down for me
It was a drop from a great height
Into the Dead Sea
All my fault, really
For seeing a man
So much better than he be
I suppose now, at least
I can call myself free

I see your potential
Your feelings are raw
Spilling out unrefined
But relatable and true
I get the feeling you’ve been searching for
An identify
But before you find that
You need to set your poet free
Through editing
No matter how illogical
That be

Peace is the greatest commodity
A soul can have
Individually
Or globally
And if it’s done properly
It is also free

It’s not foolish
Though it is kinda giddy
The thinking I do about you
Maybe it’s not thinking
Dreaming fantasizing
Is there a word for the opposite of thinking?
Because it’s nerve endings in my chest
The messages are coming through
Undeniably great
In the meeting of these two
Freesoul minds
Me and you

It’s a mission
To show you who I am
***** it out here for you to see
Which has to mean everybody
I think I’ve got likability
But I just happen to like me
I don’t know what you see
Brash, brazen, unapologetic me
For who I be
And what I want
And what kind of beautiful picture I see
In a future of you and me
If we get friendly

I want her to love frogs
And mud
I hope she never stresses over
Underwear lines
Or crams her feet into too small shoes
I hope she grows up
Breaking lots of rules

One day my song will
Hit you in the
Right kinda way
That you will revisit
All throughout the rest of your life
I will bring you the feels
And the keeping it reals
Given freely
This life-long gift
That will outlive both of us
Sent with love
To you
From me

I don’t blame you
The distance you keep
I’d be doing it, too
I got a lotta **** wrong with me
And I haven’t a clue
What you see
From the distance you keep
And it could also be
That you see
Better than me
My blame could be
The dot in the distance
Focused perpetually
On a reluctant fantasy
Which any smart fantasy
Would be

Fake friends are worse than enemies
They love you so much in the
Fairweather breeze
Frigid winds always come
Eventually
And that's when
You figure out
Who's the fake friend

My juice for you has been sapped
Until you replenish the fruit
My tolerance not nearly tapped
But you better show up in a suit

I want to be angry with you
Over something you didn’t know you were supposed to do
Unreasonable
It’s true
But anger seldom thinks clearly
It sits in my chest
Makes a big mess
Takes away happiness’ success
And so
I pretend
And bend
Smile and remember that we are friends
The feeling is still there
Ignored by me
And ignored by you
Even more thoroughly
As you pretend
And bend
And act like you don’t see
Frustration welling up in me

You’re good
But boring
Your emotions
Cannot possibly be
All gardening and pottery
And puttering endlessly
There’s gotta be  
Something you don’t want other people to see
You should start putting that in your poetry

Honesty is a given
Of course, loyalty, too
And it wouldn’t hurt
If he could turn a head or two
But the absolute thing in a man
To which I RUN
I sure love a guy who knows how to have
FUN

I wish to see you do
Happy  poetry
Like you used to

I have no grief over what never was
Or what I wished to be
There surely is something wonderful
Still in store for me

I wonder how it will be
When I love someone other than thee
And he will see
Right here in this poetry
How much you meant to me
And maybe
I’ll wish I never wrote them
Momentarily

I am a fuzzy lollipop
Kicking around on the floor
Awaiting some enterprising
Sweet tooth
To run me under some warm water
And then
The fun starts
Until I am done
Or kicking around some more
Tempting to someone
Industrious
Some fuzzy lollipops are
One of a kind flavors
Buzz infused once the
Fuzz is removed

Falling in love is a game for fools
So many rituals
But no steady rules
What is there one day
Could be gone the next
Send your whole life crashing
With just one text
But sometimes you float
And even fly
Often when you don’t even try
Partnership forged
Feelings engorged
This game for fools
Has so many rewards

Geese love to announce themselves
Repeatedly
The hopeful honking
A gaggle of geese

I found me another muse
Gems upon this path
And I stay in his pocket too

If we spent time
Intimately
You and me
I’m gonna annoy you sometimes
And you’re gonna bug me
You know you’re not perfect
But do you know I know you’re not perfect?
It’s likely you believe
You’d have to live up to too much with me
I know I wouldn’t want somebody
Unable  to perceive
All the ****** up parts of me
Idolization turned disease
Maybe
I only know that it feels healthy to me
When my soul has dreams
I hope, to you
Healthy is how it seems
Too

Well, you're ***** and sweet
Clad in black, don't look back and I love you
You're ***** and sweet, oh yeah
Well, you're slim and you're weak
You've got the teeth of the hydra upon you
You're *****, sweet and you're my girl
Get it on, bang a gong, get it on
Get it on, bang a gong, get it on
Well, you're built like a car
You've got a hubcap diamond star halo
You're built like a car, oh yeah
Well, you're an untamed youth
That's the truth with your cloak full of eagles
You're *****, sweet and you're my girl
Get it on, bang a gong, get it on
Get it on, bang a gong, get it on (oh)
Well, you're windy and wild
You've got the blues in your shoes and your stockings
You're windy and wild, oh yeah
Well you're built like a car
You've got a hubcap diamond star halo
You're *****, sweet and you're my girl
Get it on, bang a gong, get it on
Get it on, bang a gong, get it on
Well, you're ***** and sweet
Clad in black, don't look back and I love you
You're ***** and sweet, oh yeah
Well, you dance when you walk
So let's dance, take a chance, understand me
You're *****, sweet and you're my girl
Get it on, bang a gong, get it on

I must remind myself
Lack of resistance
Is not encouragement
In fact
Lack of encouragement
Is resistance