Hey girls, gather round
Listen to what I'm puttin' down
Hey, baby, I'm your handy man
I'm not the kind that uses pencil or rule
I'm handy with the love and I'm no fool
I fix broken hearts, I know I truly can
If your broken heart, she needs repair
Then I'm the man to see, I whisper sweet things
You tell all your friends, they'll come running to me
Here is the main thing I want to say
I'm busy twenty four hours a day
I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can
Come, come, come, come, come, come, come
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, oh now
They'll come runnin' to me
Here is the main thing I want to say
I'm busy twenty four hours a day
I fix broken hearts, baby I'm your handy man
Come, come, come, come, come, come, come
Yeah, yeah, yeah

If I wasn’t angry
I’d be wishing you a happy birthday
But since I’ve got an attitude
With you
(For good reason, too)
I will not be wishing you a happy birthday
This is not me hoping you’re having a
Wonderful day
Lots of joy and happiness all in your way
I didn’t come here to say
I hope you have a happy birthday
In fact
I forgot all about it
What day is it today?
Probably not your birthday
Which is why I am not here
Shhhhhh
That wasn’t even me

I ain’t never gonna really leave
Unless you ask me to
And then I’d go
Happy for you

Please don’t love me more than anything
I don’t need that kind of pressure
Love me like you love pizza
Or maybe your favorite sweater
I don’t want to be the one you worship
It’s too high of a pedestal
From which to fall
If you’re going to love me too much
I’d rather you not love me
At all

It doesn’t have to be
Between me and anybody
I got plenty of friends and family
And the water falls out of my tub faucet at the perfect speed
Whatever the thing between you and me
Maybe something, or nothing, or forever “we’ll see”
You’re not here
And I’m still complete
Maybe as much as I’m ever gonna be
But that’s OK; I’m happy with me
Completely incomplete
There is nothing from you that I need
It just seems
You could take me to my dreams
And who knows what that trip could do for you?
You might find out you’re dreaming too

Cryin' on the corner, waitin' in the rain
I swear I'll never, ever wait again
You gave me your word but words for you are lies
… Darlin' in my wildest dreams, I never thought I'd go
But it's time to let you know, oh
… I'm gonna harden my heart
I'm gonna swallow my tears
I'm gonna turn and leave you here
… All of my life I've been waitin' in the rain
I've been waiting for a feeling that never, ever came
It feels so close, but always disappears
… Darlin', in your wildest dreams, you never had a clue
But it's time you got the news
… I'm gonna harden my heart
I'm gonna swallow my tears
I'm gonna turn and leave you here
… Darlin' in my wildest dreams, I never thought I'd go
But it's time to let you know, oh
I'm gonna harden my heart
I'm gonna swallow my tears
I'm gonna turn and leave you here

Arguing over the internet
Futile, probably
Frustrating, surely
But occasionally
There is a hugely satisfying victory
All the better
There in writing
For everyone to see
One would assume
People want to avoid drama
Naturally
But that’s not the case
For some who are so lonely
And inept at being friendly
So they create controversy
Just to interact with humanity
The natural reaction is to get angry
But really
We should feel sorry
Through the curtain of *******
The hurt person inside is hard to see

It is a mission
Just to get there
Acknowledgment

Harmlessly weird is either fun or
Frustrating
Depending upon whether it’s
Real
Or just
An act

It befuddles me
How you can be so surprised
After all those yellow
Flashing warning lights
Part of me wants to be angry at you
But I know
I’ve ignored signs too
I can’t even figure if hazzard is spelled
With one z, or with two

Being remembered by millions of people is no more impressive than being known and loved by tens of people.

He doesn’t think I’m not worth looking at
I see him looking
He sees me looking too
It doesn’t seem to bother him
Though sometimes he pretends not to
Notice
Sometimes I pretend not to be looking
Sometimes we smile
And with all that pretending
It is a surprisingly genuine
Vibe
He and I  
Little moments
Over time

All the things you never said
Sit inside my head
Unspoken almost token
Of what should have been
Yet never was
Could it be the voices
In my head
Are broken?
Or is it the voice you speak with
That is choking?
Maybe both of us are the cause
Ain’t either one of us lacking flaws
But everyone with common sense and eyes to see
Can ascertain quite easily
The problem surely rests in me
With eyes that think they can hear,
And ears that think they can see

The internet
Pretends to be intimate
False sense of really knowing
But all we see is the fake
Front that people are showing
Who is really behind
That screen
So many pictures
They paste
But yet
Everything remains unseen
And a whole life
Can be faked
You think you’re talking to a marine
Out on some government mission
But really it’s a twelve year old boy
Using you for his ***** emission
It’s a trap and a trick
To get lovesick
Over someone you can’t really know
But somehow it happens
Over and over again
To Heartbreak Hotel
We go

You worship for the reward
When it should be solely
Appreciation
“Thanks for everything
God
But you owe me extra
Because I have worshipped you
Nobody worships perfectly
But for my imperfect worship
You owe me”

He ain’t fresh out the box
Nicks, scratches, scars
Most invisible
He got his demons
Inner vibe ****
He ain’t as up as he seems
Wearing his mask of other mens’ dreams
Why ain’t it perfect, though?
The answers to everything he wanted to know
Sure put on a lovely show
But there’s more
In store
Fireworks galore
To the man who just wants to
Chill indoors

He is most Beatles’ songs
He is Chaka Khan
He is that feeling you get on the swing, when you go so high and your
stomach takes a second to spin
He is homemade pizza cooked by a man named Nunzio
He is the perfect blue cheese dressing on fresh tomatoes
He is the warmth that starts in your heart, and winds up in your toes
He is the sneeze you been waiting for with a tingly nose
He is, finding your kid in the kitchen washing dishes unasked
He is the fresh air you get, when you finally take off your mask
He is the clean taste in your mouth after you brush your teeth
He is the end of the day, when you put up your feet
He is the smooth on your legs, directly after you shave
He is, the blissful feeling of the couch after a long day
He is finding your house clean, with no idea how it got that way
He is the sun
And the rain
Depending upon the day
He is the moon at night
He is also dawn’s first light
He is the reason women pray
He is brand new car smell that never goes away
He is the house that gives full candy bars on Halloween
If you happen to drop your lollipop
He is the only place that is clean
He is a surprise rainbow when you thought it would be cloudy all day
I’ll share this, but I’ll probably have to edit
Because I can tell you right now
I’m not giving him enough credit

The distance between what boys actually mean
And what we girls hear in our minds
We hear “I love you”
When he says “I love you,”
But he means “I like you just fine.”  
He says “I’ll be there,”
We hear “I’ll be there,”
But he means “I’ll come around sometime.”
He says “we have a bright future,”
We hear “we have a bright future”
He means “let’s take it a day at a time”.
The distance between what he meant
And I heard
Is so far apart that it is absurd
No harm and no foul
Lesson learned

You're too mysterious
For my own good
But I'm like a cat
I like to play with my food

Here we gather
Purveyors of angst and bliss
Speak of us how you wish
The long haired, freaky people
Have found their home
Here we gather
Prepare to roam

If I told my story
You would think I was
Exaggerating
Even if I was playing it down
Victim
Hero
Victim
Hero
Victim again
Waiting for the hero
But maybe I’m already there
Lots of heroes have no idea
They are heroic

It took the pain away
You said
I suppose it did
Cuz now you’re dead

I am the poet
Which makes me the queen
The Queen
Of this land I create
With my brain
With my words
This is my world
And nothing is left up to fate
And dontcha know it
Why not?
I'll make the sky green
Duly banish all creepy ****
And invite
The tastefully obscene
My world is full of things like that
Of which there is no clear line
But all worlds are like that
Too
And that's why this world's mine

Have you ever watched a hippo take a ****?
If hippos weren’t *******
They’d simply ****
And let it fall
But that is not the hippo way
Hippos rapidly shake their little
Stumpy tails
Spattering **** everywhere
And hippos are tightly packed in
**** spraying all over faces
And this is the way it is
In hippo world
And people seem surprised to find
Hippos are among the most violent
Kind

It could potentially be
Something epic between you and me
Don’t you wanna see?

The luxury of boredom
Like anything else
Can become too much of a good thing

Now you're just spitting out
Hollow air
Useless words
Nothing there
You were genius
Before people started noticing
How good you were
And suddenly
You're putting out nonsense
And ****** content
Unfinished,
And not meant
To make it past the drafts
But you were brilliant once
And you can rest on your past

I want to write you a poem
But I'm not up to the task
I can't come up with perfection
Just cuz I asked
You’re so amazing
You deserve nothing less
But
I can't give perfection
Only my best
The world should know
About your valiant soul
Your gentle nature
Yet down to roll
Loyalty, and honest too
I can trust it
If it came from you

It’s such a beautiful
Destination
I am heading to:
Home
I think I found in you
The road to there is more exciting
This is surely true
Butterfly stomachs
Swelling up chest
Tingly skin
Wetness within
That’s where you take me to
Maybe, together, we can roam
On our way to comfortable
Home

I think it’s probably running dry
When no one else has caught my eye
Directionless
As far as romance goes
Hope the next way I roam
Isn’t destined to remain
Never a home

It was sweet
To proclaim
To love me more than the moon and
Stars
But how much does one really love
The moon and stars?
At least you didn't lie

If you search for tenderness
It isn’t hard to find
You can have the love you need to live
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind
It always seems to be so hard to give
Honesty
Is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty
Is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you
I can always find someone
To say they sympathize
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve
But I don’t want some pretty face
To tell me pretty lies
All I want is someone to believe
…

It’s not empty if you can help
Maybe it’s just with positive vibes
And wishes
Helpless
With intention and direction
Is not hopeless

I ain’t got any poems in me today
I been hooting and hollering
So much to say
Received by deaf ears
Although that is unclear
Maybe he’s listening
And pretending not to hear
From my vantage point
I’m standing over a cavern
Screaming out
Incessantly
And even my echo is ignoring me
Tomorrow, probably
I’ll feel less hopelessly
But today
I don’t particularly like being me
Put this out for all to see
And I’m starting to feel them laughing at me
Tomorrow, maybe
I’ll feel differently
I hope so
But that’s only
The pilot light I must burn
When I’m feeling dark
And lonely and fried
Hope is sometimes
The only thing upon which I can rely

Sooner than expected
Trepidatious
Blessing
Me messing
With myself
My gift horse
Tongues are always checked

It’s not a necessity
You and me
But it feels like
It really should be
Someday
Maybe
Hopefully

What do I say
When I’ve probably said it all?
I gave you a detailed outline
Of the entire rise
And now, the fall
And the risk of being redundant
Ringing and ringing
While you avoid the call
Yet
Here I stay
Ready and willing
To repeat it all
Do you like to listen
Or ignore me completely?
Do you pay attention
Oh so discreetly?
Or do you wish I’d leave and hush up
Do I knock incessantly
On a door you never want to open
Do you want me to leave
And abandon the hoping
Is it an embarrassment to you
This desperate girl
Or am I shaming myself?
I could pretend
To disavow
The things I said I felt
But that wouldn’t be real
And I got so much more to feel
And probably no new way to say it
In any event
Until you tell me to go
I’ll be here to display it

And the banjo has come out of it’s case
Spectacular finger picking awaits
Orchestrated with the fates
Tales be told about it someday
This music is gonna stay

Those who have been conned
Will never admit
That’s how it be
And will really believe
The fool is me
And who knows
Maybe that is
The way it be

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of livin' like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me of what I really am
This is how you remind me of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waitin' on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
And I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream, "Are we havin' fun yet?

It's not like you didn't know that
I said, "I love you," and I swear I still do
And it must have been so bad
'Cause livin' with me must have **** near killed you

And this is how you remind me of what I really am
This is how you remind me of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waitin' on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
And I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream, "Are we havin' fun yet?"

Lots of bruises
Cuts and scrapes
Pound of flesh
Life will take
Healing anyway
Just to spit in trouble’s face

Rarity is a dime
A dozen
The human condition
Priceless and cheap
Each unique
Yet somehow
Predictable

There is no way out
There is only a way through
We’re all on the path
I do not feel bad for you
You’ve got more than most
Talent and gumption
And the bravery to express it,
Too
Get on with the pity party
Again
And then get over it, too
**** goes all awry on your path
When you start feeling too bad for you

He is not
Unaware
I am not
Impatient
I hoped for immediacy
But didn’t rely on silly dreams
For it to turn out to be
Working at it
Demonstrating myself worthy
If he would have seen
And felt the need
Too quickly
It wouldn’t have been right
It should take the effort
Of many nights
To make something so right
He is not unaware of me
But he’s unaware of who I really be
He’d be a fool to believe what he sees
Quickly
Through invisible words
And deeds
I am not impatient

I have no follow through
When it comes to denying myself of you
And vice versa, too
The desire to share
Myself
To you
More compulsion
If I’m being true
Not sure what a girl can do
Once she’s become an addict of you
In my veins and bloodstream
My waking thoughts and sleeping dreams
I am exactly as I seem
Hopelessly bound
Pitifully desperate broken wing moth
Open wound
Bleeding on your porch
Who needs a mess like that?  
Nobody but you
If you do
What you got
Inside of you?

He’s out of my league
By a hundred and twenty degrees
And all that really means
Is I can say my heart’s truth
Consequence free
I’m a perpetual youth
Holding a “Tiger Beat” magazine
Constant centerfold is he
Photographs speaking to me
Silently

I stood there
Looking at him
Adoringly
For faaaaaaar toooooo looooong
And then caught a big attitude
With him
Because he didn’t tell me to leave

I write him far-away poems
Jerking off in lamplight
Public *******
Reflecting back on my face
Screen attachment to a maybe
Baby

If I Were King Of The Forest not queen, not duke, not prince
My regal robes of the forest would be satin, not cotton, not chintz
I'd command each thing, be it fish or fowl, with a woof and a woof, and a royal
growl
As I'd click my heel all the trees would kneel and the mountains bow and the
bulls kowtow
And the sparrows would take wing, if I were king

I want to believe
You want to know me
Too old for foolish dreams
Too young to leave gracefully
I realize you can see
How bent and broken I be
If I were you
I probably
Would ignore me, too