How long do you fight for
What seems impossible?
Do you hope the desire
Dries up
And goes away?
Do you find something else
To lead you astray?
Does a dream unrealized
Call your psyche home?
Does it settle in your bones?
Ever there to taunt and tease
Staying so far out of reach
Does it approach
And then it leaves?
That probably is the way of dreams

Winning, and losing
Wanting, and choosing
What it be
Maybe we see
Already

Trying to win you over
Was like trying to take off in a helicopter
From the ground
In the middle of downtown
And I’ve never even driven a helicopter
I didn’t take off
Yet

Questions
I already know the answer to
Are hardest to ask

Just a good old boys
Never meanin' no harm
Beats all you never saw
Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
Straightening the curves, yeah
Flattenin' the hills
Someday the mountain might get 'em, but the law never will
Makin' their way the only way they know how
That's just a little bit more than the law will allow

Honesty is not an alibi for ignorance
We get you’re entitled to feel and say
However and whatever
But if you feel despicably
And if you say stupid ****
Nobody absolves you
Because you really meant it

Hemming and hawing
Braying and cawing
Practically bawling
Begging for you
And this inept
Grab at a slice of attention
That never comes
Is all this dummy can do

Maybe it never meant anything
Maybe nobody paid attention to it, but me
But that cannot possibly be
When I play the fool
It’s usually something everyone sees

You are the forest
Yet unexplored
Full of life
And dappled light
I can’t wait to hear
Your crickets at night

Not sentimental
Typically
When it comes
It’s a surprise to me
I could go on
About the whys
And careful worded
Overdue goodbyes
But hellos are
More interesting
One last goodbye
For all the goodbyes
I’ve got?
Why not?
Goodbye
Settling for less
Goodbye wrong ones
And accompanying mess
Goodbye poor choice
And self esteem
Welcome bold voice
And all that means
Take it on the chin
If must
Goodbye to to all that mental dust

I come across a brilliant poem
Gem
Just gorgeous
Sitting in the dust
Touched upon by wind
But never carried in
Sitting in the crowd
As dust will sit
And accumulate
Dusty gems
Everywhere
While the crowd stays convinced
Gems are rare

He is my amnesia boyfriend
C’mon
You know that guy
You know you used to love him
But you can’t remember why

It wasn’t ever gonna be
So I destroyed it purposely
That way I could make myself believe
The rejection came from me
Minds play games
Desperately
I wonder how long it will be
Until I stop writing him poetry

I fall off the e
                     d
                     g
                     e
                     !

Loss
The greatest teacher of all
You can’t learn to walk
Without learning to fall
Nobody great
Scores every play
Success surely has a cost
Paid in advance through loss

Sometimes I can really bring it
Other times
Tapped
And then
I try to write a poem about that
All the wack and wonderful
To be drawn about
And here I sit
Tapped out
Inspiration hardly ever comes
When it’s begged for
So I sit here
Feeling like Eeyore

My journey is heading in your direction
A life still under construction
When I finally get to you
Bringing everything I’ve been through
Will I be so black and blue
That I appear too damaged to you?  
In the big scheme of things
It doesn’t matter what you see
The only opinion that matters
Is the one I have of me
And I’ll keep evolving in my head
Maybe even after I’m dead
It may be we’ll never meet
But you’ve still had an effect on me

Ego got the best of me
So I'll turn it into poetry
All the things we think we know
Resist with force to being shown
Performed my little dance and song
But you were right
And I was wrong

I think you’re an insensitive ****
And also a hypocrite
Too
You should also get over yourself
If you assume this poem is about you

I’m in this moment now
And I don’t know you
Something I’ll continuously have to accept
But not my whole life through
It isn’t painful
Though not without ache
I’ll move past it, someday
I am destined for a different fate
I’m happy and blessed
Either way
Thank you
For being
Someone to aspire to

I’d like to call myself a master at this game
But I’ve failed every time before
Must have some success in store
And if there ain’t
I don’t wanna play no more

How can I write a poem about
How perfect my home is?  
Nothing rhymes with Massachusetts

I wish to be seen
Ideally from you
But whatever
Wonderful man will do
He’s out there somewhere
He must be
The ever elusive
One for me

Most of us are superheroes
Who haven’t yet found our
Secret identity

He wants us to believe
He lost his poetry
When that cannot be
He has it so naturally

Do I owe an explanation
If I disappear
Ghosting the ghost
Who never did hear
What good is a dramatic exit
Of an empty room
No doors to slam
No wheels to burn rubber
All this flim flam
Forever undiscovered
Time
Effort
Heart on a sleeve
Wasted speech as I leave
Empty

Empty
Just another word for
Clean slate
Full of possibilities
Regardless
Of how it got
Wiped
Clear and clean
Might be the cleanest slate
I ever seen

Hollow words sound so beautiful
As they echo
In an otherwise empty room

You enter the mix
Uneventfully
Just there, one day
And it felt you had always been
No waves or even ripples
Just a gentle warming of the waters
And then you were there
Water becomes playful
And quenching
And
Absolutely Necessary

It felt contrived
And reaching towards a place
I don't want to go
Aimed at people I don't
Want to travel with
It came from some part of me
I'm in the process of
Deleting

Poetry
Can be
A way to recreate
Reality
Or at least
***** about it
Incessantly

You like me too much
You think I am better than I am
I am uncomfortable with
Your vision of me
It is a poor reflection of society
That it is sometimes more comfortable
To be underestimated
Than it is to be overestimated
But
I’m not sure what it says about me

I like me
Maybe it’s overconfidence
Or stupidity
But I’m forcing myself here
So you can know me
Assuming you’ll fall in like
With what you see
All this effort put in by me
It’s like somebody passed me a mike
And I walked up on stage
Filled with sass and frass
Confident you won’t resist my ***
You ain’t no fool
You know I’m madd cool
You won’t hold out forever
I have an invisible way with you  
Deeper than surface
Thicker than blood
Time immortal
This union be
Even if you never connect with me
It’s already there
The stone that will never crumble
Art is eternal

Man cannot build
Anything that lasts forever
Except an idea

Mother Nature
Eternal muse
Doesn’t aim to please
She just does how she do
Appreciated by all
From humans to fleas

Maybe you don’t see
That you are a blessing to me
And I hope it to be true
I am a blessing to you

I hope you love
The loveliest one
I hope you smile from ear to ear
Knowing she is near
Despite what you probably believe
It would make me happy
If you showed your happiness to me
Whoever you in love with be
I’d love to see
You happy
With anybody
Even if she’s not me

It must be an ugly side
I display
How can I not
When I display so openly
Of course there is an ugly side
I cannot see
Glaring obviously
To everyone
But me
I been kicked around
Occasionally
Some of those bruises never leave
Become invisible to me
Eventually

Some days
You live in my mind rent free
All free
Yet  
Priceless commodity
Thoughts of you
Seducing me
To write all this poetry
Beautiful muse
Feeding my mind
Free for both you and me
The way it will always be
Test it out,
You’ll see

Overlooked
Most are
Hard not to take it personally
When it happens to
Everybody

You hide here and there
Everywhere
I see you in the boy at the grocery store
Before I looked for you
Shopping was such a bore
But now you are here
In my life all around
There's a part of you in
Every boy in this town

Nothing to report
Yet
Everything
To anyone
Interested enough
To know
And interesting enough
To make me wanna tell

I almost feel sorry for you
Sitting over there
Trying so hard to be offensive
And don’t nobody care
It must be thoroughly frustrating
To be ignored
When using every trigger word
Trolling, trolling, vigorously
Screaming “somebody PLEASE notice me!”
And still, nobody bothers to see
Your frustration displayed so angrily
Go back in the basement and shut the door
Cry for ya mummy til your lungs are sore
But whatever you do
WHATEVER you do
Don’t come round here bothering me no more

It is a devilish pleasure
Watching someone I dislike
Get their comeuppance
Admittedly
There is evil in me
The part which tells me
I am worthy to serve
An opinion regarding
What others deserve.

I can understand why our ancestors
Didn’t use their feet like hands
But that’s one thing I wish we had kept
On our journey from monkey to man

Poetry evolving
Personally for me
Different places or spaces
Poetry comes with me
Differently
Happy place
Sad place
Where ever
Whoever
I may be
Poetry comes with me
Evolutionary

I hope I have been a blessing to you
But I could have been a burden, too
Maybe a little of both
I must’ve said something that made you
Choke
But you still got air
And you ain’t broke
I hope you’re better off somehow
Since I been coming around
You’re the silent type
Don’t show any clues
But what you keep in your hand
Screams silently
As loud as a silent scream can be
Everyone hears it
Except me

I know you
And you probably know me
I see you in your poetry
One of you
Is really sweet
A romantic on the sly
Pretending to be the
“I don’t care” guy
Another
Salt of the Earth
So in touch with emotions
Old soul, who must have been created
With the Big Bang
Some sort of one celled creature
Now evolved into the most complicated
Yet simple man
One of you
Must have had some
Recent reckoning
Face to face with some unforgivable sin
You’ve found yourself in repentance
And it’s become your everything
Another is so sweet and supportive
Friendliness for everyone
Are you giving something you’re craving
Or are you so surrounded by it
It just falls about you?
I sometimes think I can see
Into every poet I read
Except for me

Here I am
All brash and cocky
Talkin’ ‘bout
“He’s gonna miss me”
Been saying it over and over again
Surely because I’ve been missing him
He might be back around one day
I might find the right words to say
On this forgiveness mission
None of it matters anyway
When he’d be foolish to listen
Tangled webs hanging
In the corner I painted myself within
When one cannot blame anyone else
Excuses wear real thin
His final gift to me
The growth I feel within

Excuses are your best friends
You've surrounded yourself
Amongst those little buggers
And as much as you seem to cling to them
They are moving from friends to lovers
They will not love you back
Not make up for one thing you lack
Excuses will not fill your sack
And they routinely blow you right off track