I want to like you
You seem decent enough
But stuck
You use *** as a mask
To hide everything else
While gaining cheap attention for yourself
Can’t say I really blame you
For acting how most young girls do
I should probably blame me more
For expecting different from you

Keep ya chin up
Boo
Give willingly to the inevitable
Find a new dream
If you have to
Time tested and true
May no longer apply
Unless you really want it to
And I think you’re that kind of a guy
Time tested and true
Breaks through
Face forward
Whichever way
This is me
Rooting for you

You were privileged
By me
When I wrote you all that poetry
And you
Foolishly
Pretended you couldn’t see
Is that spitting in the face
Of all poetry
Or did you only spit at me?  
You got your own story
That I bet you probably
Almost believe

Are you sure of what you said?
Maybe the opposite is true
The most you can attest
Is that you’re sure of it
For you

There is no such thing as
Bringing a relationship
Back from the dead
Attempts at resuscitation
Will only result
In more frustration
Holding on
Hoping for change
According to Einstein
Makes you deranged
And he was pretty smart

I’m delusional enough to believe
It wasn’t me he decided to leave
At least not because of me
I tell myself
He was scared
Or too busy
What ever fairy tale
That allows me to still believe

He started off just like a dream
Perfect guy, now on my team
Smart and funny
Cute and sweet
Well-hung, too
Lots of meat
Perfect really
Just my type
But it was all just blatant hype
He had an issue with jealousy
That at first I didn't see
But his insecurity
Forced me to live in misery
For about a week or two
Pretty quickly we were through
Yet now I sit and miss the guy
He pretended to be
If only I was willing
To believe a fantasy

Stop saying you are pushing him away
Because you care too much
And you don’t want to break his heart
Liar
You push him away
Because you want him to beg you
To let him stay

When am I gonna be good enough to get the haters who come along and downvote every complimentary comment?
What’s a girl gotta do to attract a hater or two?

I fell for the guy you used to be
Before you knew
You had a piece of me

You’ll probably see
Some things about me
If you should bother to look
The quirks and the dreams
And the never before been seens
Within this open book
Pages ripped out
Room for some more
The best should be yet to come
Bring yourself to the story
When the mood hits
It might become your favorite one

It could happen one day
Maybe even tomorrow
That Hellopoetry goes
FREAKING VIRAL
And suddenly
We become cool
For a few minutes
All the secrets we told
In virtual anonymity
Since nobody in our family
Bothers with poetry
BOOM!  
Mainstream
Attached to our names
I don’t know if it’d be a dream come true
Or curse
For most of us

Where you at,
Boo?
I’ve been here
Waiting for you
Maybe you know it
Maybe it’s hidden
I thirst
Right out in the front of it
Hiding nothing
Except for
The most relevant
I could reveal who you are
But I’d rather worship from afar

Memories that I can’t erase
Of an imaginary happy place
You and I could be
If you’d only notice me

I want to love you
And hold you
And lick you all over
Even **** on your sweaty toes
(among other things)
I want your body to feel so
Relaxed and at peace
I want to have you moaning for me
I want to rub you and cover you
With kisses
Make you exclaim
“What GREAT loving this is!”
As you lay on my reverence altar
While I worship your sacred manhood
Recently lovingly bathed by me
Your magnificent, beautiful body
Oiled and primed
I’ll take my sweet time
From head to feet
Feet to head
Lots of time in the middle
Boo
You know I got sumthin’ waiting for you
To make happiness spill from your pores
And just so you know
It’s only yours

And so it begins
The social media
Farce fake friendship
Between
Myself and a relative
Who cannot agree
On ANYTHING
Aside from the fact
We both pretend
With great patience and tact
We don’t dislike each other
Immensely
The problem is her
But also me
We just grate against each other
Painfully
But that is kept privately
And we smile
And put on the fake friendship show
In front of everybody

I really miss that man who blocked me
He had a reason
With no rhyme
And that **** *****
Every time
He was right for doing so
Though
Lessons learned too late
It was for something I should already know
I am responsible for that unfortunate twist of fate
Handed down by a man more loyal than I
Punishment for my wandering eye
And talking about what I saw
He was right to kick me out
I broke a cardinal law
Between he and I
He brought near perfection
And I brought the fatal flaw

Life be wild and tangle
Brambles and bush
Burrs and slimy things
And falling on your ****
Life may be an adventure
Sometimes arduous
Other times
Full of glee
They say life is what you make of it
But why is it so **** reliant upon
Decisions we make when we’re teens?
For most of us
Life is decided
Before we are born
By whom our souls are entrusted to
Lots of people get children
Unprepared
With no idea what to do
Life is not what we make of it
It’s out of our control
Just something we tell ourselves
So we can pretend we know
How and why the turns of fate
Favor some, and deny others
It has nothing to do with
What we deserve
But what our parents have earned
Our fathers and our mothers

Cheering and cheering
Til your lungs get sore
And you’re not even sure
Who you’re rooting for
Anymore

You’re always trying too hard
Laughing the loudest
Celebrating the most vigorously
And wailing at sad times
Almost inappropriately
You must feel something true
Under all that bravado
It’s a backwards way
Of not letting the real you show
Often the biggest feelings we see
Are just a smoke screen
For no feelings at all

You write the poetry of my life
Like you've already lived it
Maybe we're on the same wavelength
Or maybe it's just kismet

The drama queen is long and lean
Always frets about her fat
Sighing in the mirror
From this angle and that
She looks for a reason
So she can take offense
And can't stop pestering you
When you're hanging with other friends
She likes to show her body
And believes the big response
Hundreds of fellas
All of those tellas
Thumbs up, compliment
Making her feel heaven sent
Because they acknowledge
And attention from strangers
Feels like love to her

You pretended you didn’t know me
And that’s when I realized
You can’t get me out of your mind

It’s not as dramatic as I make it sound
I’m not broken, or damaged, or bound
I was hoping he would come around
But he didn’t
And that’s ok
I am still happy
His reaction
(Or lack of it)
Honestly
Has nothing to do with me
Or maybe it’s all my fault
But ultimately
I can accept finality
And though I should be bummed out
I feel kind of relieved
It’s better to know
One way, or the other
Than to delude in a pipe dream
I gave it my best try
One day
I’m gonna read this poetry
And think
“Who was that guy?”

Your death
Was the least violent part of your addiction
You beat your body up
Starved yourself
Went through daily sickness
Forced your loved ones
To alienate
Resigning themselves
Against their will
To your self destructive fate
Programs; outpatient and in
Everything they could to stop this
Disease from winning
You revolted
And bolted
To be “free”
To live in a cage
Voluntarily
Your body wracked with this
Horrible disease
Until you went forever to sleep
Did you get what you wanted?
In death are you finally free?

He walked into the room without knowing he was the only one who had a chair

So many love songs shared
Sweet feelings all the way through
But now
What do I do
Should I share the breakup songs too?  
Nope
He will hear no more of my feelings
Read no more of my poems
Over means finished and gone
So he ain’t gonna get anymore songs

There is no way to play with fire
It can be used
But not played with
Fire wants to be a tool
Not a toy

Fireflies
I am not trying to hate on them
Because they are magic
But fireflies are a let down up close
Basically, a carpenter ant with wings
Yet,  delicate as far as bugs go
But lovely to see
The magic of glow
In a dusk time firefly show
Who gives a crap
How they look up close?
I’m being a hater of fireflies
Clearly I’ve hit a new low

He is deep waters
Hidden under
A choppy surface
Many step straight from the shore
Assuming the floor
Inches away
And drop in over their heads
Unexpectedly
And one will wonder
How being under
Water
Can feel so fiery

I mourn for what we will never have
And things that might have been
If I could go back with what I know now
And do it all again
I would find you, then
If that impossibility was
Something I could achieve
You’d be the first person
I would go to see

This is me
Again
Offering the rare and exotic
Five million in a lifetime
Opportunity
To talk to me
By tomorrow
It’ll be five million and three

You have engulfed yourselves
In the flames of your lost cause
To see it through
You will ignore laws
Show your own
Hypocrisies
Whine and cry
And moan about imaginary
Disparities
You have become more
Irritating
Than an infestation
Of fleas

On this journey with no end in sight
And I can’t figure out
Whether to turn left or turn right
Or turn back
On what may be a futile fight
Long, lonely night
Trying to see a little bit of light
With all of my might
I ain’t got the right
To ask you to help me take flight

I have no walls
I am an open field as far as you can see
I refuse to blueprint my soul
By past wins and losses
I have no walls
But a strong reflex to flee
As soon as I dislike something I see

How flighty is the memory?
Some things we forget
Immediately
“Did I say I’d help you move?
Oh no; I forgot
I’m so sorry”
Other things, though
Stay in our minds
So long
Until the end of your time
That girl who talked crap
When you were eleven
You’ll be remembering her
When you’re in Heaven
But when hubby tells  you
“Wow, you look great”
That memory won’t even last the day
We’re a flighty  bunch
We human beings
Selective with our memories

It was like in the cartoons
When gravity doesn't work
If you think you're standing on Something solid
And then I looked down
And realized I wasn't on ground
And you had no wings to be found
Not sure how we got up here
But it's painfully clear
We're about to fall down

It’s not that I deny my damage
Honey,
I’m a hott mess
Gristled over, sharp edges
Rooms that will change you forever if you open the door
For better or worse
Of course
We won’t be the same
I like myself enough
To know I got the guts
To get through the rough
I see in you
The one with the right stuff
Make me corny enough to write this fluff

Mistakes on the front page
At first it annoyed me
Then it made me proud
To belong to a community
That celebrates imperfection
Fluid birth
And fluid beauty
Feels like the way it’s supposed to be

He caught my attention
With honorable mention
I was looking the other way
But land sakes alive
I’m feeling his vibe
And I’m hoping he’s here to stay

Apparently
I happen to be
The most interesting subject
In my town
As boring as my life is
In reality
Someone imagines
I’m living it up
So crazily
And they want to
Knock me down
I suppose it’s a compliment
To be focus of so much attention
But I’d rather feel the insult
Of not even being mentioned

You are like a window pain
All fogged up and wet from rain
You like to think you are see through
But you're hidden behind
That foggy view
You are not so crystal clear
You distort it all
My dear
Vapors clogging up the sight
Can't see between
What's wrong or right

Boy
I say boy,
That chick is a fox

If I didn’t know better
I’d assume she wanted the pain
She keeps grabbing the hot ***
By anything but the handle
She uses her finger to put out the candle
Melted wax
Dries on her hands
Leaving it’s fake skin behind
And she picks it off
Complains about it
And repeats it every time
She wears flip flops in the snow
Complains her feet are cold
She refuses to freeze any leftovers
And ******* when they get mold
It’s hard to be around her
Her game is getting old
Her friends are looking at their hands
And thinking they should fold

It's just how it goes down
Sometimes
Two people with all the ingredients
For a perfect romance
But the meats and the vegetables
Just will not dance
And we wind up with
Gross on our plate
Being with you
Is like mixing parmesan cheese
With Boston baked beans
At first it's like
"Hmmm, it might be good."
Til the beans and the cheese
Meet in your mouth
And you no longer play with
Your food

It will happen
One day
When one you trusted
Will turn and betray
You’ll feel like a sucker
Let yaself get played
But you’re not the one on the fade
The real fool in the room
Is the one who
Looses you

The joke
Is on you and me
And every single one of us
Occasionally
There is not one
Among
So **** cool
That they never played the fool

My mind is always brought to you
Something you would say
Or something you'd do
Take me to the days
When I did them with you
How could you be
So fun and sweet
Which makes it such a crime
That you lie all the time

The woods are most appreciated
By people who have no desire to
Live in them
Underrated
Beauty
Is used to turned backs

Money talks
But it don't sing and dance and it don't walk
And long as I can have you here with me
I'd much rather be forever in blue jeans
Honey's sweet
But it ain't nothin' next to baby's treat
And if you'd pardon me, I'd like to say
We'd do okay forever in blue jeans
Maybe tonight
Maybe tonight, by the fire
All alone, you and I
Nothing around but the sound
Of my heart and your sighs
Money talks
But it can't sing and dance and it can't walk
And long as I can have you here with me
I'd much rather be forever in blue jeans, babe
And honey's sweet
But it ain't nothin' next to baby's treat
And if you'll pardon me, I'd like to say
We'd do okay, forever in blue jeans
Maybe tonight
Maybe tonight, by the fire
All alone, you and I
Nothing around but the sound
Of my heart and your sighs