He blows his nose on tablecloths
And wipes his *** with the decorative hand towel hanging on the rod
Then, he tries to flush it
Overflows the toilet, but hides his ****** evidence
He brings a boom box into church to listen to ol’ ***** ******* and NWA
He gets ejected from libraries because he wanks off into encyclopedias
He wears cleats on the basketball court
He turns the batteries over in every remote he encounters
He drives around neighborhoods in the summer, blasting ice cream truck music, carrying no ice cream, or even ice
He covers rocks with snow, and throws “snowballs” at little kids
He secretly walks up behind old ladies and puts gum in their hair
He dines and dashes at every restaurant, after being incredibly rude to the waitstaff
He puts superglue on flies, and dangles them in front of frogs
He brings dandelions wherever he goes, so he can blow them all over every well-manicured lawn he sees
He takes all but the last four squares of toilet paper out of every restroom he enters
He never refills the ice trays
He dumps all the juice out of the pickle container, and leaves the pickles with the lid off
He slits long openings into window screens
He cuts the wicks off too short on candles
He goes on the office morning coffee run, and gets everyone decaf
OK.  I’m lying
He doesn’t do any of those things
But he’s still a ****
For unnamed reasons

Acceptance
The process of letting go
Giving up
Which sounds so discouraging
But many gifts it can bring
When I’m holding on to the wrong thing

So many love songs shared
Sweet feelings all the way through
But now
What do I do
Should I share the breakup songs too?  
Nope
He will hear no more of my feelings
Read no more of my poems
Over means finished and gone
So he ain’t gonna get anymore songs

You are not too good for me
But I think you know that already
You aren’t the type
To put yourself above another life
I’m just not your flavor
And that is your right
It’s not a silent commentary
Regarding what’s wrong with me
I just taste differently
Bittersweet
It’s hard to not take personally
But tang ain’t for everybody

Small, wet, and
Buried
Trying hard to remember
I am a seed
Buried is where I need
To be

He's drinking too much
At 80 years old
Trying to dull whatever it is
That has settled into his soul
He wants to forget
All of the dirt
He has pushed under his rugs
And all of his drinking
Got me to thinking
That old man should get better drugs

Were you expecting a chase scene?
Where I run after you
To continue
This useless encounter
Or whatever it was
Too many minutes
Passed off as love
I prefer for you to disappear
Do your thing
But please not here

Breathing life
Into someone already living well
Is probably impossi-bell
And now
I sit here
Pondering
The intricacies
Of turning impossibilities
Into likelees
But if I can turn
Likelees
Into a word
You needing fresh air
Might not be absurd

The man I fall in love with will not be perfect
My guy is gonna be a hott mess
He will be gentle and kind
But an overworked mind
Confused and clumsy too
He will fumble when unhooking my bra
And be kind of unsure of what to do
He will snort like a pig when he laughs
And slip on his ***
Banging his head
While laying down in the bath

I’m the type to fall in love with a
Beautiful dork
Everything worth having
Will need lots of work

I stated my peace
Which brought only conflict

Windy days
Mother Nature blowing the dust away
If you learn to let go
Of unwanted parts in your soul
You can blow it away on the wind
It is a “witchy” thing to do
And maybe it is magic,
But wind is magic, too
It is possible to blow away
Dusty parts of yourself
Psyche
Being
That need to go
If you know
There is such a thing
As Magic wind

There is no
“I really wanted it”
Alibi
Usually delivered
After numerous lies
Desire does not justify
Selfishness, theft, or lies
Some seem to have the
Misguided idea
They couldn’t possibly deny
Themselves the thing they wanted
Or else they’d surely die
Their needs, however
Unnecessary
Twisted in their mind
Become water in the desert
A nap after ten sleepless nights
The mind plays tricks to justify
Accompanying sins
And injured parties
Demonized
Left blowing in the wind
Tricks the mind plays on itself
To avoid admitting sin

People come here
With souls laid bare
A part of each shared
How can it be
This place is so drama-free
When everywhere else
Is as fake as can be?

Your such an angle to me
You’re goodness their for all to sea
Your the best person I no
So I must tell yew sew

I have no walls
I am an open field as far as you can see
I refuse to blueprint my soul
By past wins and losses
I have no walls
But a strong reflex to flee
As soon as I dislike something I see

Watch me disappear
Before your eyes
Been hanging ‘round here
Begging for replies
Too many times
Unanswered
Pushed aside
Stayed too long
****!
I’m gone

Anger is a common occurrence when you’re dating a *****

They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
With a pink hotel, a boutique, and a swinging hot spot
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone?
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
They took all the trees and put 'em in a tree museum
And they charged the people a dollar and a half to see them
No, no, no
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone?
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
Hey, farmer, farmer, put away your DDT
I don't care about spots on my apples
Leave me the birds and the bees
Please!
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone?
They paved paradise to put up a parking lot
Listen, late last night, I heard the screen door sway
And a big yellow taxi took my girl away
Now, don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone?
They paved paradise to put up a parking lot
Hey, now, now, don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone?
Why not? They paved paradise to put up a parking lot
Hey, hey, hey, paved paradise to put up a parking lot
I don't wanna give it, why you wanna give it?
Why you wanna give it all away? Hey, hey, hey
Now you wanna give it, ah, she wanna give it
'Cause she's giving it all away, now, now
I don't wanna give it, why you wanna give it?
Why you wanna give it all away?
'Cause you're giving it all, giving it all away, yeah, yeah

“I wish I would’ve wrote this”
A commonplace feeling for a poet
Though just as easy it be
“I wish someone wrote that
About me.”

Take me through
Your ritual
Til I am glazed in sweat
You ask me if I’ve had enough
I say,
“No sir, not yet.”

I wish I could be impressed
And maybe I should be
You obviously tried way too hard
And I can tell you did it for me
But how can I possibly ignore
That you tried too hard
So inadequately?

There they go
The lives you hold
You've got all sorts over there
With all the shared selfies
Committing a crime
Or the man with the melting hair
They're all on the grift
Living luxuriously
While looking down on you and me
Yet this is the leaders we
Chose to be
This craziness goes deeper than
Envy or greed
It's more primal than just the need to
Compete
When twisted by puppeteers
It's a blind zombie fleet
Balling their fists
And kicking their feet
Moaning and wailing
Realization of failing
Staring them right in the eye
Looking aghast at a madman
And admitting
"I followed that guy."

This is me
Resisting the urge
To say
"I told you so"
To your face

I’m not sorry about the things I said
Yet
But I will be
And that’s the closest you might ever get
To an apology

Your familiarity
Is an illusion to me
I know this
Yet continue to pretend I see
Commonality
But maybe it’s a reality
This thing between you and me
Palpable on my side
Through distance
Space
And silly dreams
I wish you could see
Me
But as it be
I suffer from invisibility
And it’s likely
To be so
Perpetually
But that doesn’t mean
I won’t write you poetry
Which will remain
Eternally
Whether or not
You ever see

All my online trivia games
Seem to think the okapi is
An extremely important animal
To be able to recognize
At least once a week
I’m asked to identify
The okapi
It is
Apparently
Vital to the online trivia community

The internet is broken
Surely
Otherwise he would have been
Paying attention to me
It cannot possibly be
That he just doesn’t care to see
So obviously
The internet is broken
Only for me

I had so much to say in that poem that got away
As I went about my day
It came to me
Perfect and true
So many beautiful words
But what’s a poet to do
When out and about
Lots of stuff to do
And the poem disappears
Into the void of my mind
And only reveals tiny glimpses
Teasing me, teasing me “come here and find”
Lost creation, please be kind
Hop right on back into my mind

Gypsy rebel
Never level
****!
And then, she’s gone
Yet still remains
Her spirit
In almost every song

Can someone please find a poetic way of saying, "our president is exactly like Ted Baxter from The Mary Tyler Moore Show?"

It's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Um-dittle-ittl-um-d­ittle-I
Because I was afraid to speak when I was just a lad
Me father gave me nose a tweak, told me I was bad
But then one day I learned a word that saved me achin' nose
The biggest word you ever heard and this is how it goes
Oh, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Um-dittle-ittl-um-d­ittle-I
He traveled all around the world and everywhere he went
He'd use his word and all would say there goes a clever gent
When dukes or Maharajas pass the time of day with me
I say me special word and then they ask me out to tea
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Um-dittle-ittl-um-d­ittle-I
Um-dittle-ittl-um-dittle-I
You know you can say it backwards which is
Dociousaliexpisticfragicalirupus
But that's going a bit too far, don't you think?
Indubitably
So when the cat has got your tongue there's no need for dismay
Just summon up this word and then you've got a lot to say
But better use it carefully or it could change your life
For example
Yes?
One night, I said it to me girl and now me girl's me wife
Oh, and a lovely thing she is
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

The shadow of a beautiful form
After years of weird
The welcome norm
Inexplicably unique
As normal can be
Few people get it
Not you, and not me
Relaxed and routine
And a feeling of free
But when is right
Ever meant to be?

I put these here
Little shards of who I be
One day
There won’t be
A part of me
You did not see

I wonder if he knows I hate that shirt.  
How could he not?  
I’ve only said it
About him
Out loud
Every time he wears it
He probably wears it to spite me
For having the nerve to have an opinion
He has no obligation to look beautiful
According to my narrow standards
And when I say them
He spites me
By looking beautiful
Anyway
In that **** shirt

He got supa dupa playa status
Got me off twice this week
And we ain’t even met
Yet

Here now
Hopefully
Comes a celebration of
The ordinary
The man who doesn't
Entertain or incite
The righteously unright
The overly uptight
Armed and angry
It's a disease
The blinding need
To think self righteously
While blaming the needy
For your extra unmet "needs"
But now you live vicariously
Through those you envy for their greed
Out of shape and out of steam
And this is who
You
Choose to envy
We need to look up to
The ordinary

He is not
Unaware
I am not
Impatient
I hoped for immediacy
But didn’t rely on silly dreams
For it to turn out to be
Working at it
Demonstrating myself worthy
If he would have seen
And felt the need
Too quickly
It wouldn’t have been right
It should take the effort
Of many nights
To make something so right
He is not unaware of me
But he’s unaware of who I really be
He’d be a fool to believe what he sees
Quickly
Through invisible words
And deeds
I am not impatient

You have invaded my life
Your presence is in every song I hear
I seem to feel you everywhere
A commercial on tv
Reminds me of you and me
You're in the exciting
And in the mundane
You're in me
Like wet in rain
And I'm not sure
I'll ever be the same

I am a slinger of words
Some slings linger

I would scream for you
I would hush up, too
I wish I knew
What to do
When being true
Is of no use

He bangs
To the beat
Of the non conformed
Unabashedly
Off kilter
Wobbly
Left or right  
He turns the middle of a sunny day
Deep into a night
I want to share some of his journey
Company along the way
In and out
We come about
Then out
And around again

I’m sorry, mister
But it don’t be
Like that for me
You and I cannot be
And I shouldn’t have to feel sorry
But you have tried so earnestly
And I perceive you tenderly
Mostly

I don't breathe for you
My heart beats for myself
But my brain takes you in
Like oxygen
Clean and fresh
In a breeze
Oxygen wind
For my brain
Thank you
Very
Please

Into the void
Among the sea
Humans swimming
With the tide
Yet you and I follow the sun
Not the moon
I want to be a good witch
But it is that ball of fire that makes me
Swoon

You asked a question
But it wasn’t really a question
It was a trick
You had the answer, already
And you only asked me
To make sure I agree
Or to see if maybe
I’d sell out, and simply
Pretend I could be
What you want from me
Boy did you see

He conquered her mind
It was the friendliest invasion
In the history of mankind
Chemical warfare
With the natural drugs
Kindness, patience, and love
Intoxication
Via kisses and hugs

He has blocked me
Probably permanently
I deserved it, too
The awkward part is
I keep talking to him
And it will continually be
Something he never knew

I was an optimistic child
I watched Gilligan’s Island
Every time
Thinking they were going to finally make it off that island
This time

As a pessimistic adult
I wonder why they would want to

Poetry
Silence
And so loud
Screams of joy and agony
Even whispers too
Living loud
Imaginarily
Poetry can do

As the son of a son of a sailor
I went out on the sea for adventure
Expanding their view of the captain and crew
Like a man just released from indenture

As a dreamer of dreams and a travelin' man
I have chalked up many a mile
Read dozens of books about heroes and crooks
And I've learned much from both of their styles

Son of a son, son of a son, son of a son of a sailor
Son of a gun; load the last ton
One step ahead of the jailer

Now away in the near future, southeast of disorder
You can shake the hand of the mango man
As he greets you at the border

And the lady she hails from Trinidad
Island of the spices
Salt for your meat and cinnamon sweet
And the *** is for all your good vices

Haul the sheet in as we ride on the wind that our
Forefathers harnessed before us
Hear the bells ring as the tight rigging sings
It's a son of a gun of a chorus

Where it all ends I can't fathom, my friends
If I knew, I might toss out my anchor
So I'll cruise along always searchin' for songs
Not a lawyer, a thief or a banker

But a son of a son, son of a son, son of a son of a sailor
Son of a gun, load the last ton
One step ahead of the jailer
I'm just a son of a son, son of a son, son of a son of a sailor
The sea's in my veins, my tradition remains
I'm just glad I don't live in a trailer