I have no grief over what never was
Or what I wished to be
There surely is something wonderful
Still in store for me

It cannot only be me
Who unfortunately
Thinks to myself
Bashedly
“If I were to go
Would they even know?
Stand in the doorway
And want to say
“You won’t see me from this day”
But it would be foolish show of despair
I’m not going anywhere

Butterflies love tears
But if I sat outside
They’d avoid me
No matter how many tears I cried
I’ve seen butterflies
Land right on a crocodile’s eyes
Sipping salty tears
But as for us human beings
Butterflies must think we cry weird

You didn’t steal my heart
But you made it work real hard
Beating intensely
Swelling up so immensely
And all of those flutters and skips
Who woulda thought
A heart could do flips?  
Beautiful, smart, artistic man
You’ve never been part of the plan
Suddenly there you are
Or are you here?
Who knows?
But I’d go anywhere
My heart don’t want to hear
That I’d be willing to walk right there
I know I can think it all I want
And my heart will never know
It’s caused me lots of pain
That my heart never listens to my brain

It’s not as dramatic as I make it sound
I’m not broken, or damaged, or bound
I was hoping he would come around
But he didn’t
And that’s ok
I am still happy
His reaction
(Or lack of it)
Honestly
Has nothing to do with me
Or maybe it’s all my fault
But ultimately
I can accept finality
And though I should be bummed out
I feel kind of relieved
It’s better to know
One way, or the other
Than to delude in a pipe dream
I gave it my best try
One day
I’m gonna read this poetry
And think
“Who was that guy?”

He’s such an amazing guy
Who’s only fault is that
He looks like Harvey Weinstein
Oh my

Poetry is honesty
Dipped in
Chocolate
Or poo
Depending on the poet’s mood

Getting over you
Was like coming into the light
When I had no idea
How dark things had been
At first it even felt like
Feeling good was a sin
You had me so wrapped up
In self-inflicted doom
Apparently I needed to be scared
To want you
I look back on it now
How you reeled me in
So aware and on point
For whatever
I’d start feeling thirsty
And you’d suddenly be there with the
Perfect drink
You made what I want
Materialize
Before I started to think
I really wanted that thing
And suddenly
When I wanted anything you couldn’t
Provide
You blamed me for setting my sights too high
And still relied on that same false reply
“I give you everything you want.”

I am the freak
Who pretends to be normal
But then again, so are you
There ain’t no “normal” humans
Just things we don’t tell other people we do

It must be a roller coaster
Being my muse
One day, you’re perfect
The next
You **** moldy rocks
I have many muses
Hundreds even
And I could write one
*******, ******* poem
And who knows how many people
Would think, “maybe I am an *******.”
It’s the reverse muse
The dark matter in between
The effect on the author
And
The effect on the muse
Who is really just an innocent party
Judged throughout time
Via a burn in poetry
Nobody knows it’s you, maybe
But it’s all in the energy
Kept alive through my poetry
And I am shallow and petty
But it feels like sinless revenge to me

I am the potter spinning yarn
I’m the cop trying to direct traffic with a broken arm
I’m the stone cutter without a blade
The mafia wannabe, who never got made
I am the Rockette without any kick
I am the lab rat who just won’t get sick
I am the movie that goes on way too long
And on and on
On and on
C’mon Boo, just one more song
I am the prowler audacious
Perpetually
Heading in blindly
Yet apparently
You are blind to me
Because you want to be
And I remain
What you refuse to see
Your choice to not be
You know you
Better than me
The kickless Rockette
Flops around the set
Lamely
Because she stubbornly believes
There are no kicks
Where she’s s’posed to be

Mother Nature
Eternal muse
Doesn’t aim to please
She just does how she do
Appreciated by all
From humans to fleas

I have no wings
In fact
I am crawling, too
Get on my back
Ride me like a horse
I will carry you

Contrary to what they say
It doesn’t all come out in the wash
Some stains stay

He walked into the room without knowing he was the only one who had a chair

I been watching those children all day
They’re pretty chill
Normal kid play
Then mum comes in and the kids just
FLIP OUT
And they’re screaming and whining
And flailing about
I don’t twist the knife and let her know
That behind her back, those kids are pretty mellow
Instead, I try to look exhausted
And act like I’ve been
Tortured by this all day din
Those kids only make when mum walks in

I woo him so earnestly
Practically
Like a knight trying to earn
The badge of chivalry
I give him all of me
Albeit distantly
And he pays little to no
Attention to me
Hurtful it be
Because I take it so personally
But how else could one perceive
Baring their soul to somebody
Who does not want to see?
Sometimes I wish he would say
“*****, would you just go away”
He’s got no motivation to speak
My game is too weak
I’m past my peak
I’m not what he seeks
I need lots of tweaks
And then
I realize
It’s really got nothing to do with me
Sometimes there’s just no reason
Things cannot be
And the fault doesn’t lie
With him
Or with me
It might just not be meant to be
And I’m still happy
I really like me
And even though he don’t want it that way
He probably will agree
As far as admirers go
He couldn’t do much better than me
So I’ll keep on admiring
Because he’s so worthy

The desert does not care how thirsty I be
The sun shines on me
Remotely
But I still be
Kissed warmly
By his beautiful heat
Even if I’m thirsty
I stand beneath he
Sweating freely
Hoarse voice
Still speaks

I ain’t got any poems in me today
I been hooting and hollering
So much to say
Received by deaf ears
Although that is unclear
Maybe he’s listening
And pretending not to hear
From my vantage point
I’m standing over a cavern
Screaming out
Incessantly
And even my echo is ignoring me
Tomorrow, probably
I’ll feel less hopelessly
But today
I don’t particularly like being me
Put this out for all to see
And I’m starting to feel them laughing at me
Tomorrow, maybe
I’ll feel differently
I hope so
But that’s only
The pilot light I must burn
When I’m feeling dark
And lonely and fried
Hope is sometimes
The only thing upon which I can rely

I wish to see
A poem written from you to me
But would never ask
Maybe it’s best if I see
All poems as about me
Such a narcissistic task
But for every reader who identifies
The poem is about them, too
Personally, I’ve seen
Plenty of poetry
That could have been from you to me
In that it brought you to my mind
From wherever you are
And poetry responds in kind
To you, I’m sure
And then I meet somebody new
And somehow that poem
Becomes
About him, too

This is the little bug
Named Krista
🐜
She’s pretty easy to ignore
She’s caught in a sea of billions of bugs
More now, than ever before
And sometimes she almost gets squashed
Under the heel of a boot
But ****, that little sucker
Sure does know to scoot
Blink and you miss her
That little bug
Self-preservation is her goal
She’d be so much better off
With more armor and less soul

I know I am special enough
To be loved by a man like you

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him, and listen for a while
And there he was, this young boy, stranger to my eyes
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd
I felt he'd found my letters and read each one out loud
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song

I ain’t the flavor you savor
And that’s fine with me
I’m ok being coffee
When you prefer tea
I am not so needy
That I need to please everybody
I’ll continue to be me
Distantly
And that’s how it be
Fine with you
And fine with me
And as far apart as we are
Is where we should be
On this we can agree

Theatrics
Attract us
We love to see a show
Looked at from our lens
Over the crowd
The one we notice
Is flailing about

Maybe I might
Have a crush on you
Except I don't pay attention
To half of the things you do

One day
These poems are going to mean something
To somebody
Besides me
Maybe not you
But sometimes poems do
Affect someone
Somewhere
Never around either of us two
Some lonely soul
Will spend time
Over these rhymes
Wishing for a poem
Just like mine
Maybe even in
A thousand years’ time
My feelings for you
Will still be on fire

Maybe you’re not “him”
But at the very least
You’re a cool spring of water
And a field full of flowers
With the perfect tree for climbing
Along my path
Or maybe
You are an oasis mirage
But I’m heading in that direction
So we’ll see
What may be
Between you and me

I’ve run out of songs
I think
New things to say
Don’t come my way
I am my own shrink
So I say what I say
And I ain’t got any special today
This won’t become a habit
Hopefully

Keep ya chin up
Boo
Give willingly to the inevitable
Find a new dream
If you have to
Time tested and true
May no longer apply
Unless you really want it to
And I think you’re that kind of a guy
Time tested and true
Breaks through
Face forward
Whichever way
This is me
Rooting for you

Needy
For some speedy
Attention
It could be
You don’t even notice me
But it is more likely you see
And don’t know what the Hell
To do with me
So doors stay unopened
And you peek through curtains
Out of morbid curiosity
Whatever it be
That makes you not acknowledge me
It ain’t from lack of trying
And it’s sort of unkind
To pretend to be blind
And leave me to dance here
Endlessly
If you have no intention
You could give that a mention
And put me out of my misery
Of splashing my foolish dreams
Out in these waters so publicly
But then again
You have no obligation
To set this foolish girl free
Maybe it’ll always be this way
But until I hear it from you
Here I stay
And this I do

I could get preachy
About cleaning out the trash
But it’s not my garbage
And nobody here is mess-free
Including me

I feel you in the Wind
Cool……hot
Tickling my skin

You wanted to pretend he would love you forever
When you knew it could never be
You blame him, now, because he couldn't live up to the fantasy
You knew you shouldn't beleive
You tell all his secrets
In and out the sheets
Hating him for ending
Something that could never be

I am simply just there
Always, on most days
“Here she comes, again.”
If anyone even happens to notice when
I am obscure me
A fixture of the scene
A branch in a forest of trees
A cow in the herd
Mooing lonely words
The farmer don’t notice me
And I suppose for that
I should feel relieved

I have a super power
Invisibility
Nobody notices me
Trying to see the bright side
In current realities
Which is probably a super power too

It hurts to be missing out on you
It hurts me that you’re missing out on me
Too
I did all I could do
I’m happy that it doesn’t hurt you
I wish for you
A new sun that’s blue
To bring joy and joy and joy to you

At one point
Long ago
I thought you were the smartest guy
I ever did know
Now
Years down the road
I read our old messages
And see how much I’ve grown
What a fool I used to be
Falling for those tired lines
And lies
Yet, I can’t help but be so **** happy
About all those lessons you
Didn’t mean to teach me

I wish I was the type of romantic
Who felt confident in making
Forever promises
I suppose the right one
Doesn’t exist for me
I’m luckier than most
In lots of other ways
A one and only
Might be too much to hope for
Though so many people seem to find it
Or think they’ve found it
In reality
Very few actually do
But even still
They tried
It’s probably me who is the fool

C’mon Baby
Bring me there
You know where
On the journey from
Your mind
To mine
And maybe back again
Created with a pen
And then it takes me back
A thousand times again
Begging for attention
Never enough
There will ever be
You are like a drug to me

The weary soul on music
Is not so tired

How flighty is the memory?
Some things we forget
Immediately
“Did I say I’d help you move?
Oh no; I forgot
I’m so sorry”
Other things, though
Stay in our minds
So long
Until the end of your time
That girl who talked crap
When you were eleven
You’ll be remembering her
When you’re in Heaven
But when hubby tells  you
“Wow, you look great”
That memory won’t even last the day
We’re a flighty  bunch
We human beings
Selective with our memories

I got some razzle
Zero dazzle
What am I supposed to do with that?

I cannot possibly be
The only one writing you poetry
You’re so **** inspiring
Beautiful too
Not much in this world
More poetic than you

I’d like to say I remember you fondly
All you past boyfriends of mine
Some of you, I still think about
But
Most of you, I’ve forgotten by now
It’s not that you mean nothing to me
I’m sure I learned something from you
And if you learned anything from me
You’ll have forgotten me too

Bit into the hook
Tugged on the line
Lots of times
Sitting out in the sea
Stuck on a hook
Fisherman!
Reel me in
And either set me free
Or eat me!

I don’t want to brag
Especially in the
Company
Of so many who are wonderful at poetry
But you can search far, wide, cold places,
And hot
And you won’t find a better muse
Than the one I got  
My poetry isn’t really good enough for him
He deserves Maya Angelou
Someone good enough to be known
So the entire world can see
Just how perfect a muse/poet team can be
That incredible human being
Who should be praised
Throughout history
Surely deserves a better poet than me

I read your poetry
And pretend to myself
You’re writing for me
In my imagination
You and I could be
Something incredible
Though unlikely
But isn’t that the way
Of all of the best love stories?
They come out of the blue
An unbelievable fantasy
That somehow comes true
That could be
You and me
And as I write this
I wonder if you’ll see
And pretend it’s for you
Which of course, it will be
And you’ll be sitting there
Thinking how it’s unlikely
But isn’t that how
Most truths start out to be?
The possibility
Of you and me
Unlikely fantasy

I’m runnin’ this wagon off the road
Horses need to rest
Ya know
Been galloping full speed
As long as they could
And it didn’t do any good
The desert vast
I’m full of thirst
And off this endless road to nowhere
Can’t be any worse

You’re not not there
You got there long ago
But now your eyes have focused
Upon the horizon
There it is
Between you
And resistant distance
Not not achievable
You’re not trying to grow wings
But to grow your soul
Into undeniable
To even yourself
Evolve
Enhance
From “there.”
There is no rule
That one person cannot
Accomplish
Two impossible things
There is always
Not here