One day I am going to know what he smells like

Of all the “truth” that has ever existed
How much of it is objective?  
50%?  
25?
5?  
Or maybe it could be high
Who knows, because
The terms defining objective truth
Are subjective
Thinkers throughout time
Have questioned truth
Some even insist upon
Their version of it
Is there even such a thing as an objective truth?  
Some years ago
I would have said the Earth was objectively round
Cue up flat Earth (eye roll)
🌎🌏🌍  
I could not seem to find the flat Earth emoji
Maybe that just proves it
The Earth is objectively round
So says the new language
Emojis
So we’ve ended the flat Earth
Debate definitely
Objectively
To you and me
But apparently
Not everybody

I can understand why our ancestors
Didn’t use their feet like hands
But that’s one thing I wish we had kept
On our journey from monkey to man

Your birthday passed about
Two months ago
And I’m just only now
Remembering it

I wanna be angry
And stomp my feet
Run into the street
And scream like a banshee
I wanna curse
Wish you the worst
Pray for you to feel the thirst
I wanna bring down the boom
Cast a spell so you see me in every moon
I wanna bring myself to you
Then turn and show you my back
I want you to yearn for me
As if I’m all you lack
I want to fill your senses
Till you cannot go without
You can be the teapot
And I will be the spout
I want to be the song
You whistle as you go along
And all who hear it pause
To hear the Pied Piper
And her cause
I want to be the horses and the men
Who put Humpty Dumpty together again
I want to be the plate you lick clean
Or even lick *****
You know what I mean
I want to be the mosquito
Piercing your skin
I want to be the air you’re breathing in
I want to sin and sin and sin
But we both know I ain’t getting in
Meanwhile you sit under my skin

I am not the type to build up your ego
With false praise and compliments
I don't go out of my way
To accomodate
Your issues or irrational concerns
I won't play mind games
Or accept them from you
It seems that's what you are used to
You hesitate before you speak
Judging what you'll say
And I can't help but think
Liars do it that way
But also
Maybe
It could be
You're used to being inauthentic
Because you needed to be
I suppose in time I'll see

I wonder where you go when you’re gone
I hope it’s somewhere you want to be
But that thought is so silly for me
You’re not the type to be wasting your
Precious time
Doing something begrudgingly
Wherever you go  
The people around you are very lucky

I'm not ready to talk
Just yet
Still so angry
Wishing we'd never met
One day
Some day
I may be able to forget
Or at least forgive
But it ain't that day yet

He’s there,
Somewhere
The one for me
It is certainly true
Whoever he be
Is gonna be a lot like you

It’s not a necessity
You and me
But it feels like
It really should be
Someday
Maybe
Hopefully

You are the ice and the tea
You’re the light when it’s too dark to see
You’re the journey and the destiny
You’re the missing part of me
You’re the carrots in my peas
You’re the laughter and the glee
You are the fight and the agree
You are the fervent, woeful plea
You are the only bullseye I see
You are the royal decree
You are for what my heart will bleed
You are the nest at the top of the tree
You are the coffee and the cream
You are the best show on TV
You are the waking and the dream
You are the luxurious shopping spree
You are the best player on any team
You are the yellow in the green
You are the sunrise over the sea
You’re the treasure that’s eluded me
You hold the lock and the key
Until you open the gate
I’ll never be free

She was searching out drama
And wanted to pretend
I did something to offend
Not sure why
But it would seem
She searched out a beef
With specifically me
And so she imagined it to be
I’d behaved offensively
And with a few twists on the real story
She created a fantasy
That she seemed to really believe
In which I apparently
Did her *****
And now she’s gone from my vicinity
No hard feelings on my part, really
Good luck to her, but stay the Hell away
From me

Who I am
And who I ain’t
Not fairly judged by me
Benefit of doubt
I see
Mentally,
I am lucky
Because it is true
You are much too ******* you

He sat back
And watched me burn
In his front row spot
All the time
Sipping his wine
Ignoring all the hot
The flames were so persistent
Consuming much my spirit
And though I screamed real loud
He pretended not to hear it
One day I will get my turn
With the one who will not let me burn

I will stay in the back of your mind
I will stay there for years
Perhaps your whole life
And though it’s not the place
I’d choose to be
Any spot is fine for me
It’s your mind
So in it, you are the boss of where I will be

Tease me out a sweet sip
Put me on my knees
Let me lap
Lazily
Little strokes
Here and there
Let me tingle you
Entice your skin to give it’s dew
And perk your pores up
All anew

I’ve decided
It’s not unhealthy
But who is ever right
In diagnosing their dreams?
How much does how it seems
Personally
Pollute
What really
Should be?

No direction
Cooperative weather
Nature’s broom
Coming through
Out with the old
In with the new
Windy days
Can be used by you
To send negativity away on the wind
Through intention
And believing that’s what
Mother Nature can do

I wonder, sometimes
If there is an invisible thread
Between a thought
And who it is thought about
Within reason
I don’t expect Andre Benjamin
To suddenly wonder
“What’s up with this girl, Krista”
When I fantasize
But maybe he feels
That fantasy vibe
With some we know well
Those bonds are so clear
It’s like the thread lives in your ear
But others
Strangers
Have them, too
Tiny flashlight in the stadium
Otherwise dark
Or maybe full of other light too
But there is some sort of bond
I cannot explain
When someone thinks about you

You’re always trying too hard
Laughing the loudest
Celebrating the most vigorously
And wailing at sad times
Almost inappropriately
You must feel something true
Under all that bravado
It’s a backwards way
Of not letting the real you show
Often the biggest feelings we see
Are just a smoke screen
For no feelings at all

They call her “**** tease”
Because she is flirtatious
For two seconds
Without wanting
A night long commitment
Supposedly
It’s her fault that they
Got their *****
Ahead of reality
“I was thinking with the little head”
They say
To excuse stupidity
But somehow she
Bears some responsibility

You are knight-like
In your soul
With too many parts
Out of control
Wicked wild
Crazy and fun
Seat of your pants
Hide your galliance
You
***** treasure
You

I ain’t gonna recover from wanting you
It will always be there
I might wind up meeting somebody new
But if you came around
Asking for me
I would answer so hastily
Heads would spin
And everyone would see
There isn’t anyone else as perfect for me
As you seem to naturally be
Beautiful, man, beautiful mind
Beautiful soul, so **** fine
So I will stand here in line
Waving my arms and shouting my lines
Maybe one day, it will be the right time
And I’ll throw up just the right sign
To cause your attention to become mine

Pretty privilege
Is ******* by ***** privilege
Which can make up for lots of
Less
If you’ve got big enough *******
The rest of you can be a mess

I want to tell you that you are off
But that doesn’t mean you’re not wonderful
You are a lovely
Unbalanced person
I prefer to call myself a ******
But unbalanced is just as apt
I suppose that’s my way of telling you
All of the best people are weirdos
Your differences and quirks
Somehow it really works
Keep that in your mind
When haters are unkind

I wanna tickle him in his happy place
Put a big smile on his face
**** him up til he is spent
Make him wonder where his inhibitions went
Bring him to the brink
And all that he can think
Is jumping over the ledge
Trembling there, at the edge
And then I set him free
Into the realm of ecstasy
That is where he’ll be
Whenever he gets under me

I’m gonna come into your winter
Like a desert storm
I’ll get you wet
But I’ll keep you warm.

Once upon a time
Should be right now
But my Prince
He cannot be
Bothered with me
And that’s the tale
With this fairy

Giving in is not giving up

What was it?
The last thing you said to me?
It doesn’t stick in my memory
I didn’t pay enough attention
Apparently
And isn’t that the crux
Of you and me?
If I heard you talking now
I would listen
Attentively

You care too much
It drains your spirit
It's hardening your touch
And aging your soul
I know the polar bears can't eat
But starving yourself won't help
Before you can save the world
You must take care of yourself

My feelings for you are written  
As if upon the stone
Which will stay
Long after each of us are gone
Whether or not
Independent of anything
You and I are written
Whether or not we sing

It’s hard to be a grownup
With adult sensibilities
Thinking over the stupid crap
I did when I was a kiddie
There ain’t no going back
To when I was thirteen
And stopping myself from torturing
That poor girl I bullied
I can’t replace
The money
I stole from nana’s purse
When I was a teen
All I can do
Is not repeat
Those stupid mistakes
That may define me

Life be wild and tangle
Brambles and bush
Burrs and slimy things
And falling on your ****
Life may be an adventure
Sometimes arduous
Other times
Full of glee
They say life is what you make of it
But why is it so **** reliant upon
Decisions we make when we’re teens?
For most of us
Life is decided
Before we are born
By whom our souls are entrusted to
Lots of people get children
Unprepared
With no idea what to do
Life is not what we make of it
It’s out of our control
Just something we tell ourselves
So we can pretend we know
How and why the turns of fate
Favor some, and deny others
It has nothing to do with
What we deserve
But what our parents have earned
Our fathers and our mothers

If Jesus were alive today
He would not be concerned
With the average, happy, gay
He wouldn’t over stress
On how short is her dress
Jesus would hardly care
Over who has *** with who
Or what someone wears
Jesus would be out
Feeding the poor
Helping those who have little
Get some more
Jesus would welcome
All races and creeds
And talk about equality
He’d respect women
And be quite appalled
At those who in his name
Denigrate all
He’d pick up anyone who falls
No matter who that someone is
Because when Jesus was alive
That’s what he did

They can’t misquote what I don’t say
But I’m still gonna say it, anyway

I know it when I see it
Trust my own voice
Which means also
Trusting you
Slowly
Slower
Maybe
Fortunate signs
As read by a skeptic

Cheering and cheering
Til your lungs get sore
And you’re not even sure
Who you’re rooting for
Anymore

What of all the poems I pen
Nobody cares to read?  
Dropped by me on airwaves
In the hopes to plant a seed


Abandoned to the mass


Do they matter less?  
Whether poems get lonely
Is anybody’s guess

My loss of virginity is not something I look back on tormented
But it’s not a big moment for me
It was more taken, than lost
A boy, who I’d never choose to have *** with now
But he was a cool 16 year old
Alone
He. Me.  
And he just started and kept going
All because I didn’t get angry
And say a forceful enough “no”
Maybe I didn’t want to say no
Or else I would have
I don’t think of it as ****
Because we did it without me saying yes
I didn’t feel like I couldn’t say no
And afterwards we snuggled
Not saying no
Is not really the same thing as saying yes
And I wish I would’ve said no
But there were a thousand
Parts of my body, friendship circle, and
Environment that made saying yes
The normal thing to do
For what it’s worth
I’m glad I’m not a ******
So I don’t dwell

Listen
You little **** (I’m sorry)
I’m obviously not getting over it!  
It may be a blessing
It may be a curse
You may be the best
You may be the worst
I am here with all this obvious thirst
And instead of sending me to the next saloon
Or opening the door and giving me room
You leave me out here howling at the moon
Foolish me, just can’t get over it
Chasing after you little **** (I’m sorry)

The yucky part of me
Thinking I’m due some clarity
It isn’t true
But your refusal to give it
Is the yucky part of you
At least that’s how it looks
From my point of view
But all of that is only
Cause I don’t want to see
What you have shown to me
Via blatant apathy
The yucky part of you
Only exists because I refuse
That clarity
You’ve already given to me
I’m too yucky to see it
Willingly
I probably
Owe you an apology
But instead of giving it
I do not give up
My yucky ways
I’m stuck on yucky
You see
And you seem to be
Stuck with me

He’s got walls and moats
Filled with crocodiles
Looking for human root beer floats
He’s got the title of GOAT
Unassumingly
He’s got shiny things
Metal, mineral,
Heavy commodity
Spacious homes for his whole family
Choice of beauties bevericiously
Smart ones, too, atypically
But all that fluff, and stuff
And superlative ****
Isn’t as priceless as me
Which he also has
Abundantly

The hostility of the blank page
Is nothing compared to
The tyranny of
The blinking curser
Paper waits patiently
But that **** curser is mocking me!

I had a stroke
And almost lost hope
Barely escaped death's
Gnarly claws
But jeesch!
What's a fifty year old lady got to do
To get her
Menopause?

With you
You carry the
Mighty Pen
Live a thousand lives
Within the Mighty Pen
Obscurity to mainstream
Back around again
Magic in perpetuity
Within the Mighty Pen

He’s the type to encourage me
When I’m feeling all pretty and strutting my ***
He likes a proud woman
Filled up with cinnamon
And sassafras
Women blossom
Around him
He’s surely a worker bee
I feel my bud opening
Awaiting him to lay some work on me

Trolls have notoriously poor eyesight
And their memories
Also seem lacking
So many of them
Forget what they just said
And repeat it
Repeat it
Again and again
(And again and again)
On until who knows when
Stupidity back to backing
They feed upon moldy outrage
It’s like blue cheese without any
Dairy
They love to use tag words
They didn’t create
Like calling a gay person
“Fairy”
And though it’s been heard
Umpteen times before
They LOL at themselves
Like they just created
A new blockbuster score
And the more people they anger
The more “famous” they feel
I suppose, though, fame isn’t
Really real
But the fakest fame
Is less than lame
But to those who crave it
It’s somehow the same
In their deluded, hungry eyes
They think there’s a
Troll “Nobel prize”
And they seek it out
Their dream is to be
A winner of something
Imaginary
By annoying almost everybody

Using words
One
Or two
At a time
Per line
Has it’s place
I suppose
But none of it flows
It’s choppy
Erratic
Pitter and Pattic
Walking up spiral steps
To reach a low attic
Sometimes it’s yep
Most times it’s a nope
But when it’s a yep
It can be really dope
Easy to read
Is not usually
The goal of poetry

Are you aware of what’s not there?